Our new best and most frightening friend “Andy The Squirrel” managed to get EXCLUSIVE side and, crucially, rear shots of that horrendously frightening Chinese Sonic costume rip-off.

We have requested Andy gets a video of the seller dancing in it to “illustrate the mobility” of the suit.

At least there isn’t a hole cut in it allowing easy access to the anal area. Although there probably should be. The costume is still for sale.

It’s been revealed that 55% of the total sales of PS3 were in the first four weeks. Which again makes us highly suspicious about that ‘record’ opening weekend where PS3 was allegedly the fastest selling console ever. Sony are now resorting to even more drastic measures by releasing a pointless 40gb version of the console – so desperate are they to get something on the shelves at a less than extortionate price. Not that it well help with the lack of any decent games.

THINGS CURRENTLY OUTSELLING PS3:

Package holidays to Baghdad
Jade Goody’s perfume
The Thick of it – Series 1 DVD
CRT Televisions
Nokia N-Gage

Yours on eBay for about 80 quid. This was sent in by a man who calls himself “Andy The Squirrel” so was no doubt discovered while in a “furry” wanking/browsing session. Which takes a little bit of the shine off the discovery, to be honest.

SEGA really ought to knock out official ones. There’s clearly a market for full-body SEGA immersion suits.

For entirely predictable reasons. Reasons to do with Japanese artists, who, when left to their own devices, turn feral and do drawings like this:

Twice the size of her head? Only in the video games industry, where men work in single-sex offices away from the calming influence of women, could this get drawn and approved for global distribution.

You know a special alternate version of this exists on the artist’s hard drive. And now, after three hours of Photoshop work, on our hard drive too.

We got an email from Richard Jacques! He very kindly added us to the BCC list of media outlets he wanted to tell about his forthcoming appearance at this year’s Video Games Live show in London.

Richard will be playing jazz piano with an amazing horn. Section.

He used the word “dear” which clearly implies affection.

Just when you think games are getting important enough for people to actually know what they’re talking about, this happens.

Even five years on, bitches are still tolerating impractical shoes and talcing themselves into plastic so YOU can get vaguely aroused looking at photos of them while in the office.

Taken from Joystiq’s pleasing high resolution TGS Gallery.

Actually, this link is better, as it lets you see all the thumbnails so you can just click on the ones of women. This one’s not very happy about it and knows this photo’s going straight onto the internet, where it will be met with a rather frosty reception.

Oh no, it’s Monday and the whole internet is discussing Halo 3 review scores. We haven’t got a Halo 3 review score and, by the looks of, it you’ve got to have a Halo 3 review score to be considered important and get talked about on other gaming site forums. That’s a dilemma seeing as we haven’t got the game or even played it yet. (Too slow to get down to Argos/Tesco and not important enough to be sent a copy) But who cares, WE MUST HAVE A HALO 3 REVIEW.

Graphics: We’re only judging it on screenshots and YouTube videos but it obviously looks better than anything on PS3 117%

Sound: It’s got music and sound effects like explosions and laser guns. They’ve probably put some clever stuff in that makes sounds come out of different speakers aswell. Amazing! 6/5

Gameplay: We’re guessing it’s like other Halo games but better as they’ve had ages to work on it ******

Overall: Epic, awesome, incredible etc. 11/10

Poor old Three Speech has had the tough job of doing lots of updates about Sony’s ABYSMAL Tokyo Game Show performance. They’re not even attempting to put a positive spin on anything. It’s brilliant.

Here are some of the best comments from this update about the TGS DualShock 3 announcement:

“My question is: Why the hell do America and Europe have to wait until spring 2008 to get the new controller when Japan gets it in 2 months?!?! It is not as if there is any localisation to be done! It’s a really moronic strategy really.”

“I think that nowadays I’ve wasted my money with PS3, no LBP, no Home, and now, a new controller with rumble, a thing of the past said sony in E3 06.”

“Can you ask Sony why America and Japan are getting vibration this November and we’re not getting it til Spring? Cos a lot of us are pretty ticked off at being screwed over again!”

“I still remember an official statement by Sony, just less than one month ago, they say no rumble feature under development for PS3 controller, neither in future.”

And here are some from this one about the delay of 1997 3D PC avatar system Home until next “spring”:

“‘You get what you pay for’!?!! A 425 bookend isn’t what I had in mind.”

“I really don’t see how anyone could be delighted with the quality offered by PS3 so far. Underwhelming European store updates, games coming out weeks after their 360 counterparts or being shunted into 2008, new SKUs and controllers barely a year from the initial release. I really wish i could afford to say the games are just a bonus but i bought the thing as a games machine and so far it just hasn’t delivered.”

“I thought Sony were telling the truth in their pre-launch hype that is why I bought a PS3 at launch. Singstar was supposed to be a launch title for goodness sakes. The pre-launch title schedule looked amazing, now we get shafted time and again on pricing,releases,information and store updates.”

“Seriously–how do the execs at Sony expect to turn things around with crap 1st party software (Warhawk excluded), delays, and a crap online service(currently… and maybe still in the future, if @ Home doesn’t show up in Spring…)? Seriously? Are the Sony execs even tuned in?”

“Developers are jumping ship too as they keep slandering it, the ‘competition’ is owning the PS3 on all fronts. The PS3 doesn’t really have anything that sets it apart. Where are all the classic games we were promised for the PSN ? I’ll tell you, they’re on the Virtual Console and on XBLA.”

PRIZE WINNER: “Simply not good enough. The Delaystation3 is beyond a joke, delays, more delays, no news or information from Sony, poor ports of games. The store is substandard at best, you are trying to con us into buying aged PS1 games for a second time. The so called console seller Hevenly Sword was in my opinion a step backward in gaming. I am not at all happy with this situation or this console. I cannot believe Sony have treated loyal customers in this way.”

“Vote with your wallet people, its the only thing that hits these corporations.”

Well done to all concerned! And a particularly big well done to Sony Europe, for continuing to fund the internet’s largest anti-Sony blog.

Sonic’s back, in his dialogue screen-iest adventure yet! Seriously, there’s way too much chit-chat between levels, especially when most of the talking is being done by Marine The Very Cliched Australian character. As a rule, conversation is something to be avoided as much in video games as in real life.

Other than that, though, it’s top hole. And bottom hole. Very nice.

There really is a bit too much of this. In one screen she uses the word “bugger” which, for old people, is a very rude word as it’s about gay sex. SEGA could have a PR disaster on its hands if an old person plays this.

But then there’s loads of this, which is good. Although being MADE to replay levels to collect enough materials for Tails to build his gadgets (it takes the game 55 dialogue screens to say that) is a bit of an odd thing to happen in a game.

But then there’s lots of this, which is also good. Compared with the best Sonic games it’s a good 8/10. Compared with the rubbish 3D Sonic games it’s a good 9999999999/10.