And the answer is “YES!” And the qualifying part of the statement is “ESPECIALLY IF YOU LIVE IN AUSTRALIA!” — thanks to the Australian Centre for the Moving Image letting some people (probably students but we’ll let them off seeing as they’re doing good things for Sega) do a Sonic The Hedgehog exhibition in their gallery.

The Australians are particularly well known for their appreciation of fine art.

sonic the hedgehog

“All users will be awarded a special Yahoo Mag! Prizes to be awarded after September 19, 2005.”

|~| (Slashed wrist emoticon)

…seeing as it’s the only games magazine left we can take the piss out of without getting another written warning. The worst this lot can do is send us a stroppy email or post that we’re a cunt on the forum! And that happens every day so we don’t mind!

360 is LIFESTYLE! You can tell it’s lifestyle because the logo’s in white. After it sells no copies because everyone thinks it’s a car magazine that some kid’s dropped on the games shelf, they’ll make it look like a games magazine by making the logo red with a yellow dropshadow. Probably by issue four.

TYPO ON PAGE 12! “Quality, innovation and excellent are paramount”. Having a typo in the bit where you say how quality you are is a world-class balls-up. Theyve realy set they’re stal otu their! In issue two they should say this was an ironic joke that set out to lampoon other lower quality magazines, the sort of shite rags that would have spelling mistakes in the bit where they say how excellent they are.

AN IRONIC PANEL ABOUT WHERE X05 *WON’T* BE HELD! This is humorous lifestyle journalism at its finest! Hull! Ha ha! Yes, imagine if Microsoft DID hold X05 in Hull. The thousand pictures these words paint are all hilarious. Imagine J Allard in Hull. He’d get kicked in for looking gay within seconds! We can’t stop laughing at that mental image. There must LITERALLY be a joke every 60 seconds in their zany office.

DVD AND CD REVIEWS. These’ll be ditched during issue 7’s sales crisis emergency redesign meeting after the first ABC sales figures come out next February. It will be replaced by “Tips”, as everyone realises the readers don’t care if Mike Richardson likes Goldfrapp or not.

APART FROM THAT
It’s not bad and could actually have been worse in several areas. Everyone thinks the design is adequate, but feels the copy could “do with some work” and no way should it be FOUR WHOLE POUNDS. We’d give it 5/10, but only because we can put it on expenses. If you don’t work where you can buy magazines on expenses, it’s more like a 3.

NEXT WEEK:
EDGE issue 154 goes under the microscope!*

*Joke for management.

GLOBAL NEWS FLASH OF SERIOUS MEGA-EXCLUSIVE POWER!

We just found this in some of Microsoft’s official Xbox 360 marketing materials — a table indicating that backwards compatibility with Xbox 1 games is a feature ONLY available if you own a 360 hard drive.

This almost certainly means you have to download patches to make old games work, but we’re already massively out of our depth with all this technical stuff so can’t say for sure.

…THEY’VE ONLY GONE AND MADE THE EVERQUEST II ANTONIA-HUNT BITCHES WEAR BIKINIS!!

There’s a link at the bottom of this page that says “see all 178 images”: IGN: Quest For Antonia Pageant. See what you’ve got coming, UK Frag Dolls? You should probably all go out for a run tonight, instead of eating buns on the sofa.

We’ve never seen a game character so perfectly posed for the insertion of a Photoshop penis as Lara Croft here, from Tomb Raider: Legend.

Is this an attempt at viral marketing? Do they WANT every internet forum to be full of fake Lara Croft blow-job porn to hype next-gen Lara’s all-formats Q1 2006 release?

We would make one ourselves, but there’s a big difference between getting caught with Blogger open on your work PC (verbal warning) and photos of men’s cocks (massive personal shame).

Wow! What a day that was! Thanks to everyone who attended the UKR Lan Party, a good time was definitely had by all!

Now, the PHOTOS!!

Forum mod PK-Jones PUMPING THE MAD DANCING SKILLZ on DDR Revolution!!

Mikey900 kicked some ASS at Halo 2 because he had previously ran out of chewing gum!!!

This is Sarah. She arrived at 4:00pm, then left crying at 4:07pm. Thanks for coming, Sarah! Hope to see you at the next meet!! :)

The role of women in videogames – sorry, Women In Videogames – is as follows.

– Getting shot
– Getting stabbed
– Getting blown up
– Getting shot
– Getting kicked to death
– Getting choked with fibrewire
– Getting shot
– Getting cut up with chainsaws and katanas
– Getting hurled from fifteenth story windows
– Getting their hair caught in a waterwheel and dragged backwards over it repeatedly until dead from drowning or broken neck
– Getting slowly crushed in the gears of a giant music box
– Getting shot

…JUST THE SAME as the role of men in videogames. DO YOU SEE HOW THAT WORKS, girls, or are you too busy playing Da Urbz on your pastel pink DS?

Good old Konami! Supporting the contentious “women in games” issue with wrestling game Rumble Roses XX for Xbox 360. See? There are LOADS of women in games. What the hell are these moaning lesbians on about?

It’s Rumble Roses XX on Xbox 360. It’s got hot bitches in it, so we’ll probably end up going on about it loads, then taking lots of screenshots of gussets and cleavages when the game eventually appears on Bittorrent, then uploading them with the sort of sexist comments not seen since women were given the right to speak in the 1970s. God, we’re getting predictable.

This update is entirely for the benefit of those who use NewsNow. It’s sort of a joke about the bottom-feeders of the news-gathering scene who just copy news off other sites all day as their main job that they get paid for. It’s too hot in the office to think it through any more than that.

Just scroll down and look at all those whopping tits, then come back tomorrow for a joke about LAN parties.