This one said we could have a free t-shirt as a reward…

But there’s nothing there for us. We don’t really want to walk around the local area with a three-year-old Eurogamer forum in-joke emblazoned upon our chest. See if there’s something in there for you here. They do at least appear to be competently produced to a Western standard.

If you weren’t sitting on that same chair staring at that same wall while reading this same site 10 years ago, you won’t have seen this. No idea why she’s getting so excited by the cheap second-generation redesign:

Don’t remember where it came from. Probably from “the internet.” Those memories have long since been overwritten. The computer says the image was last modified on July 15th of the year 2000.

Not sure who that’s according to. Also not sure if Sonic has been turned black on purpose in an attempt at disguising him, or if it’s the result of poor lighting conditions, cheap print reproduction on the box and the submitter using an iPhone – creating a bad photograph ‘perfect storm’.

“WARNING! this email contains horrible counterfeit graphic usage of Sonic (and Tails) and the Dreamcast spiral!”

“Greetings from Istanbul, Turkey. I present you KONTORLAND. Here you
can see it is being marketed as THE BEST VIDEO GAME SYSTEM, with appearances from Sonic and Tails.”

“But here’s the ugly truth. This machine is what we label here as an ‘underpass console’. They use grotesque yellow cartridges and are mostly sold at public underpasses, the last hope of videogaming for the ghetto kids because daddy’s bringing a PlayStation home.”

“Oh no, wait. its a Kontorland! And a 999999999999 in 1 game cartridge! (still beats PlayStation though)”

“Also the spiral like symbolism on the logo cannot go unnoticed. it surely challenges the limits of our imagination. Peace” – Ant.

Topical in that it was spotted outside a “polling station” by which we think the submitter means it was found on the walls of a school somewhere. How annoying that the one day you’re allowed to be in/near a school is the one day there’s no bloody point.

“Dodgy Sonic-related graffiti spotted an the wall of my local polling station. Sonic 4 PM” – Barry.

You kids don’t know how lucky you are. In our day, we had to make to with Carol Vorderman spelling out the names of Mario characters. And we were grateful for the rare days she wore a dress instead of a trouser-suit. Now it’s all toned blondes in fetish shoes and SEGA references.

“Here’s a picture of Rachel Riley from Countdown spelling the word ‘Rez’. Also, the camera fired so that it looks like she’s stroking the word “Rez”, and therefore showing affection for it. This was mostly a coincidence, but managed to work out quite well. Whether she got the version with the vibrating peripheral is pure speculation at this point, but I’d say it’s more than likely” – Darth Canis.

Looks like Mr Hirai saw one of those printed out signs on a lamp post, about earning POUNDS in your spare time working from home. It’s one way to get out of THE HOLE.

It’s the US PlayStation Protection Plan, which an exciting new way for Americans to give Sony a bit more money for nothing in return.

Great news! SEGA may now be able to claim 0.01% of the revenues from all past Mario games, which will be the financial equivalent of the money generated by 1,000,000 Madworlds.

“I was bored the other day so I thought I’d dust down my old games collection and pop in a game called Super Mario Sunshine, a game by Nintendo based on an Italian plumber called Mario who likes spaghetti and meatballs. As I was playing, and to my amazement I noticed the Dreamcast logo in the game!” – Mark.

Sorry about the quality of posts recently. It might be something dietary, or the weather. Hopefully motivation will return in Q3.

For the 20th time this year alone, the PlayStation brand STANDS ACCUSED of being party to MURDER MOST FOUL. The horrible console’s latest murderous rampage is detailed below, a rampage triggered by the EVIL MACHINE’S off switch – the most frequently used switch of all.

If you have a PS3, or know of anyone with a PS3, be wary. It’s probably best to burn down any retail establishments which stock them, to be safe.

Story found here. Submitted by a man who supplied no less than THREE separate names in his email, the least odd of which is “Darth Canis”.

We’re not sure what Sonic has to do with spinal injuries, either. Maybe he’s encouraging people not to risk spinal damage by doing roly-polys down steep hills and roads?

“Just saw your update on the London Marathon and seeing I was there too thought I’d send you the attached. It has Sonic on it and that’s all that matters right? What he has to do with some slightly dubious fairies and spinal injuries is anyone’s guess” – Chris.

A few familiar sound effects found here. Don’t listen to it on speakers, it’s extremely embarrassing youth music.

Sent in via the extremely modern medium of a Tweet from a man called “Chris”.