Blue mascot now A CANCER on the high street.

“You might remember me as the ‘other’ poster from Phorenzik’s blog Stupid Fucking Customers. I’m still alive and I thought I’d send you these images from my local video shop as it has an interesting picture of Sonic on the shop sign. I’ve always thought about sending them in but I’ve never had the bottle to do it, but now the shop has shut down so I thought I would.”

“Sorry about the poor image, I was scared because some kids and the security guard at the Morrisons store next to it was watching me, so I had to rush” – Mark.

The enemy has won a minor battle. Reader “Benjamin” has provided a visual analysis of the newly-released sales data.

Week #2 up 200 percent. Week #3 up 42 percent. Week #4 MISERY AS USUAL until the next price cut at Easter of 2011. The enemy may take solace in this HOLLOW VICTORY, but we will not be fooled. No tide has turned here, it is merely a ripple in the ocean of piss that is PS3.

We ignored the recent Dubai shopping centre SEGA theme park news on account of there not being any accompanying imagery. Fortunately, SEGA has now prodived some on its world-consuming Flickr presence.

Flickr Account Monitor “Anne” provided all the links and captions. We did the really hard bit in uploading all the pictures. If anyone’s a hero today, it’s the man who uploaded 11 images and pasted 11 bits of text below the right ones.

It is good (AKA heart-breakingly sad) to see that the arcades of Dubai are just as empty as the arcades of the UK. Although the Dubai one has the excuse of not being open yet.

[1] “Sega has apparently decided to open a new country in the Mall of Dubai.”

[2] “They seem to have set up public works programs building futuristic halfpipes in order to jumpstart their economy.”

[3] “The almighty visage of Sonic watches over the workers and inspires them to greater heights of glory.”

[4] “Not sure what Spingear is. National sport? Game show? Way of torturing PS3 owners (i.e. political prisoners)?”

[5] “The Sega Republic seems to sparsely populated. Perhaps the population will rise as word gets out that they offer billiards?”

[6] “Children of the Republic can acquire all sorts of Sonic plushes. Though none of Cream the Rabbit. :(“

[7] “Magic thought-projecting bubbles (separated by gender) help to keep the citizens thinking in the proper Sega frame of mind.”

[8] “The great leader lets the citizens know they’re doing A-ok!”

[9] “The Sega Republic’s military is trained on state of the art simulators.”

[10] “Immigration kiosks stand at the entrance to the country. Becoming a citizen is easy, and mainly involves swearing never to buy a PS3, and to laugh at Ken Kutaragi whenever possible.”

[11] “The card that identifies one as citizen of the Sega Republic. It provides a mild electric shock to the citizen whenever they think about buying a Sony product.”

There’s a picture to go with this week’s Japanese sales data, taken from here. This would make a great desktop image. It’s small, so there’s lots of space for your icons to go around it.

People will say it’s because Japanese gamers are waiting for the PS3 Slim. We will not say that. We will merely sit here becoming increasingly drunk, even though the yard arm is still in the shade.

New corporate logo embraces the company’s core value of TELLING LIES ABOUT EVERYTHING.

Unbelievable. Quite staggering, but good to see it owning up for once. Another notch for the Sony’s TERRIBLE ERROR bed post. Sent in by a “Chris” who has nothing better to do than reload Kotaku all day.

If anyone fancies knocking up a few, the font to use is Century Gothic at about 35 point size.

Don’t get Bravo any more. As in, don’t receive the transmission. Which is probably for the best, otherwise this poor lady would be getting a much more thorough debriefing right now.

She’s the vaguely acceptable face of “Gameface” – a new (SEASON 1, EPISODE 5) TV show about games. Incredibly, she uses the term “veritable platter” in her opening piece to camera, setting back games reporting by over a decade.

They should’ve used Emily Booth. Everyone should use Emily Booth. We would like to use Emily Booth, as has been well documented. We would, as Annie Lennox once put it, also like to get used by Emily Booth. Used as a toilet.

Finally. Finally we see the blotchy hell that is the reality of the in-game action. You will never win, Sony. Not while human beings still have the ability to remember things you said more than seven days ago.

Behold… the MESH of SHAME!

The game.

What was previously advertised as being the game, but is actually NOT the game or even ANYTHING LIKE the game. From VG247 and that horrible place.

There’s another one of those fan events going on, the sort of gathering we pretend to be cool to attend, but actually don’t go to because of a fear of ENTHUSIASTIC PEOPLE and the OUTSIDE WORLD. Oh, and also because games are all shit now. There’s a new Summer of Sonic on like there was before, featuring the signature of Richard Jacques assistant TJ Davis.

There’s a web site about it all, but it doesn’t seem to be loading at the moment. But there’s the link to it. Apparently that’s the polite thing to do on the internet these days.

“Spotted this at the Summer of Sonic convention thingy. Take a peek at the comment beside the Richard Jacques program. I’m sure you’ll probably have about a few dozen photos of this whisking your way for the next few days if you haven’t seen it a few times already, most likely using better cameras too, but oh well” – Gagaman.

This photo set has reached CRITICAL MASS. We’ve had more emails about this than we’ve got baked bean tins in the recycling bin. None of the emails were overly complimentary.

Spotted by pretty much everyone on SEGA’s Toronto Fan Expo 2009 page. We’re going to have to launch an internal policy review regarding updates based on SEGA’s Flickr output. It’s putting out more content than we can handle.

A few tatty books and some toys. When the cleaner from the council turns up to emotionlessly throw it all in a skip after the owner’s passing, he will not understand their true meaning or worth.

“Last week I was ordered to go through a few boxes of crap I’d left around my parent’s house and decide what I wanted to keep since they’re moving. There wasn’t much I was bothered about but I picked these up because I thought you might be interested in them.”

“If not in the actual items, at least in not having to find an update for a day. Hell, since there’s two different things, this could mean a couple of days off!”

“First, I found some books. They’re the novels written by Martin Adams. I think my favourite thing about these is the little flip-book animation in the top right of the pages. Well, that and Sonic’s eyes on the cover of ‘Silicon Warriors’.”

“There’s a 4th book too, ‘in Robotnik’s Castle’, which I’m sure I’ve read but can’t find anywhere. I’m thinking I might have borrowed it off a friend. I’ve included the back covers so you can read the synopsis”.

“Next we have a box of Sonic and Metal Sonic minitures; origin unknown (I think they might have been a ticket collection item at Sega World).”

“They came painted poorly and the Sonic on the far right can’t stand up on his own. I quite like the Metal Sonic though, it looks like someone at least tried to make an effort with him” – Ian.

Thanks, Ian. Sorry for suggesting you’ll die alone and the council will have to come and clear away your possessions because they need to rent the house to someone else. We’ve just run out of ways to introduce sets of photos of SEGA items.

And that Mecha Sonic IS nice. No man who owns a Mecha Sonic that cool will die alone.

You’ll die surrounded by 27 cats.