“My mother incessantly tried to take photos of me with him. Apparently she thinks I’m still 5. I’m not, really. Seeing this publicity made me no more likely to buy he’s latest venture, or any future ones he may have. The monster has a sign saying ‘Please do not touch.’ Like anyone would want to put their hands on that filthy, washed up, good-for-nothing hog. Maybe if this was still the 90s they’d need that sign to keep all the adoring fans off him” – Ekim.

“Dear Daily Mail. I spotted hundreds of copies of this sick game for sale in Zavvi. This disgusting paedo shop should be forced into administration for selling filth like this and the managers made to sign the sex offenders register. You’re playing with the angels now, Baby P” – ArseGambler.

Nice Andy Warhol print.

Yes please. Incinerate them one at a time or all at once. As many as you can. Just leave one intact so future generations can enjoy Lumines and Lumines II.

“That guy there was the lookout. The bigger one, who I imagine owns the van and probably does the incinerating with his bare hands, was busy getting into said van. Shortly afterwards the pair sped off, almost like Steve Coogan’s Mustang in the Saxondale intro.

“I was under immense pressure taking these photos (I took five altogether, but this is the clearest) on my phone. I at least set the focus to infinity to speed up the picture-taking and, naturally, disabled the flash just in case, but I was in direct view of not only the two unsavoury types but also a family sitting nearby and the commuters going about their daily business, so I too used the cigarette break as my disguise and lit one up as the littering bastard kept giving me strange looks. Upon seeing that I was a fellow smoker, he seemed to calm down, but I also had a massive, unwieldy black/green Zavvi bag (Laurel and Hardy DVD collection, oh yes) which drew unnecessary attention. To put things in perspective, here’s one of the earlier, dodgier ‘action’ shots…”

“I decided not to rotate it the right way around just to emphasise the clear and present danger involved. Further reconnaissance revealed a website for the ‘company’. If you ask me, it looks positively dubious.

“What would Sony want with our bank statements and personal information? I smell a rat, and it smells not unlike a certain Kaz Hirai, only with a wholly different name and address. Heck, he could be posing as me! If you are offered a PSP by a Japanese man calling himself Bilal Sheikh, DO NOT BUY IT. Unless it’s really cheap and you can flash it, then you can play Streets of Rage 2 on it, like I do with mine.

“I’ve been mulling over the idea of possibly buying www.ps3incineration.co.uk in case Sony decides to branch out, but I’m thinking of a few other things to spend £2.99 on, like HD-DVDs from HMV” – Bilal.

“May I present to you for your consideration a canvas Dreamcast bag from the 2000 Games Developers Conference that has quite possibly the most ironic message stated since Phil Harrison fucked off from Sony (in non-chronological terms of course).”

“Happy New Year!” – THE Larry Bundy Jr.

“Here’s an update for you. A fax sent to SEGA Europe to inform it of a serious mistake that had been made and would have caused misery to many Dreamcast owners if it was not corrected.”

“The serious tone of the covering sheet sets up the 2nd page wonderfully.”

“I have deleted the recipient’s name for privacy, but it’s a genuine fax” – Chris.

Well done, Sony. Another gold in the paralympics.

Five updates a week for 52 weeks…. that’s another 260 updates like this to look forward to during 2009. UKR – managing to make time pass slower since 1996.