He is a typical German video gamer, apparently.

The campaign wants to highlight the “real gamers” of Germany and show that not everyone who plays games is a sick, anti-social weirdo. We have obviously focussed on the ones that do look like sick, anti-social weirdos for comic effect.

It’s nice to know that German hardcore gamers sometimes look exactly how you’d imagine them to

SAYS THE GERMAN: “We are doing an online-petition, because they want to ban videogames in Germany! The government thinks that every gamer is a potential psychopathkiller. So we ask people to register and upload their picture. Even if the Tommys don’t care about Germans being f*cked by the government, you still have to do a little newsflash about the site. Why? Because it is sponsored by segaON and consists of totally embarrassing pix like these. It is a comedy goldmine!”

This is what happens to a country when David Hasselhoff is considered a positive role model.

There are also women on it. German women, but they still have all the right bits for doing stuff with/to and some are quite passable.

It’s a shame Germany hasn’t got a Frag Dolls.

This is a flyer being circulated by someone called Alan who’s trying to sell a PS3 in a university. That’s his phone number. We’re not entirely sure about the legality of putting someone’s phone number on a web site read by lunatics, but are prepared to risk being implicated in Alan’s death for a minor laugh.

A sign saying “Wii ROX” made out of unsold PS3s. Hopefully this photo was arranged specifically for us, and hasn’t just been stolen off an internet forum.

Self explanatory.

What Ken Kutaragi did next. Again, hopefully this was made just for us and wasn’t stuck on Gaming-Age and featured on Kotaku three weeks ago. We’ve not been keeping up on gaming news recently, thanks to post-traumatic stress brought about by the WAR.

This image was definitley made for us. No one else would have it.

This is awesome and deserves its own update, rather than being hidden away down here. Sorry about that, person what done it.

This is probably a war reference we don’t get, as all we really know about WWII is that the Japanese did very bad things, which is why Granddad never drives Hondas or buys Sony products to this very day.

A PS3 “not sold out in the slightest” sign from Russia! Even out there no one cares for the evil capitalist machine. Interesting to note that in Russia PS3 costs 2-1.990p. Right. That’s your lot. We have cleaned up our desktop quite significantly.

“Here are more pictures of things that say SEGA. Near my place in southern Tokyo there are two arcades both called SEGA HI-TECH LAND.”

“This is the entrance to one. You can taste the future. And you know it will be great because it says SEGA!”

“There was one person on the arcade portion, which means it was more active than American arcades. Everyone else was by the UFO Catchers and Pachinko machines on the other side. The clerk didn’t mind when I got pictures of the empty VF5 machines.”

“This mat states that the 23rd of every month is SEGA day. That makes Japan automatically better than every other country on Earth.”

“The back entrance to the other arcade. I don’t know what else to say.”

“This is the front entrance.”

“Look at all those empty machines! That just means there’s no waiting to have fun at SEGA Hi-Tech Land.”

“The best part is at the arcade they have free wetnaps that remind you about SEGA day! See two SEGA Arcades within walking distance of each other. They are still open which means someone out there still cares about fun.”

This should be our new logo.

We didn’t take these photos.

There is a story behind them, a story NOT involving us.

A man who works at a game shop got the toys, opened one, took some photos and sent them in. His initial email pointed out that he thought the toy looked like Emily Booth, which was the ‘angle’ he suggested we use.

We didn’t say it was a funny story.

Then he took some with the flash on.

We’re not sure if he did that as a joke or seriously to give us a better look.

It was a good idea though.

The end (of society).

The UK’s finest MILF, yours for only ten quid in Woolworths. Oh, and PS3 IS SHIT and it’s unlikely anyone has pre-ordered one today, just to keep you updated.

“Hi UKR. I wasn’t allowed to dye my dog blue but I did get away with sticking SEGA tattoos on her. I think you’ll agree, they’re better than Stuart’s dog. My dog looks happy to be wearing SEGA things and even sat still while I was putting them on. And she has her tongue out and is offering a paw.

“The only bit of skin was on her belly which is a bit close to her vagina. Sorry about that. I tried to get pictures of not her vagina that much, but it’s still clearly visible. I’ll see what I can do to my cat next. And I’ll still try and dye the dog blue one day! Gretta.”

Tomorrow we expect nothing less than photos of a cow’s brain smeared over a road in a vague approximation of the SEGA logo.

Anything but dog vaginas, please.

A great photo, but the dog should’ve been roused to a sitting position, by offering a treat or a pat or saying that it’s din-dins or walkies time. It’s not really joining in. It should also be giving a paw for a bonus. Still, it’s a nice doggy. Oh yes it is. Oh yes you are. Oh yessy yessy doggy doggy. Good boy. GOOD BOY.

Still, it’s a photo of a dog wearing a Sonic The Hedgehog hat. It’s definitely an internet first. And probably also a last.

He even made his cat join in. This looks quite cruel.

BEHIND THE SCENES ‘MAKING OF’ COMMENTARY FROM STUART:
“The dog is called Blue, and my cat is actually called Sonic (I named him after the good Sonic games, and not the wank ones of late). I’m sure you’ll agree that the dog pictures are vastly overshadowed by the ones of the cat. The cat fucking hated wearing the hat, and he almost shat himself every time I put it on him. Lucky for him I managed to get the required shots well within 4 hours.”

Of course it could just be Sonic wearing a cat costume on his lower body.

Stupid cat. Cats are so stupid they can’t even get things off their heads.

“Hi, I found this Sonic hat in the window of Forbidden Planet in Aberdeen. I thought you might like it so i took a picture. Unfortunately I do not deal in ‘Credits’ of any sort, so I could not ask how much it was or which Orc the owner bought it off. It also appears that the hat would go over your eyes, possibly giving you some kind of Sonic vision!”

BUY ONE NOW! Or wait another week and get one from the skip.

It’s also odd what passes as valid content to put on the internet some days.