“Sony’s PlayStation 3 has also picked up the CES Best of Innovations Award for 2007, PC World’s 20 Most Innovative Products Award”

You LITERALLY could not make ANY OF THIS UP:

Sony Computer Entertainment America Wins Emmy Award for PLAYSTATION3 SIXAXIS Wireless Controller

PLAYSTATION 3 Receives Multiple Awards and Honors at CES 2007

LAS VEGAS, January 8, 2007 – Sony Computer Entertainment America (SCEA) today announced that it has been recognized by the National Academy of Television Arts & Sciences with a Technology and Engineering Emmy Award for the PLAYSTATION3 (PS3) computer entertainment system’s SIXAXIS wireless controller. SCEA will receive this distinguished honor at an awards presentation being held tonight at the International Consumer Electronics Show (CES) 2007 in Las Vegas.

The SIXAXIS wireless controller comes standard with PS3 and enables gamers to harness the potential of the world’s most powerful computer entertainment system. Developed by refining the popular original PlayStation controller, the de facto standard in gaming with several hundred millions units shipped worldwide, the SIXAXIS wireless controller features motion-sensing technology to detect natural and intuitive movements for real-time and high precision interactive play, acting as a natural extension of the user’s body.

Further illustrating its industry leadership, SCEA will be honored with several other awards at CES for the powerful technology and innovative engineering behind PS3 including the CES Best of Innovations Award for 2007, PC World’s 20 Most Innovative Products Award, Sound & Vision’s Editor’s Choice Award and Digital Entertainment Group’s (DEG) Emiel N. Petrone Digital Innovation Award.

“The overwhelming consumer demand and critical acclaim for PS3 is a testament of the platform’s strength and the industry’s desire for a true next-generation entertainment system,” said Jack Tretton, president and CEO, SCEA. “The full potential of this powerful machine has yet to be realized – what you’ve seen so far is just a taste of what will be on the table for 2007 and years to come.”

Final proof that most idiots in the industry really do believe what the press releases that appear in their email inboxes say. What next? An award for the idea of putting PS3 in a cardboard box? An award from the Electricity Council for exemplary use of power? Some days all you can do is shake your head and wait until the memories fade and start hurting less.

We love the internet. It never forgets. And it doesn’t feel pity. Or remorse.

Those PAL machines must really be piling up by now! Sony will have about 25 million ready for the European launch!

HA HA HA HA HA ETC
Next Generation – Report: First PS3s Made for Europe

This is bound to come in handy next March:

“We’re still on schedule to launch PS3 in March throughout the PAL territories” – David Reeves, Sony Computer Entertainment Europe.

We will be checking the internet every day to see if this remains the case, Dave. And anything less than 50,000 units doesn’t count as a launch, either.

Basically… Sony paid marketing company Zipatoni to make a blog about how great PSP is, because PSP is such a piece of shit no one on the whole internet wants to make a fan site about it for free.

Obviously it’s all backfired and turned into a massive slagging match, as Sony’s marketing gurus block words like “viral” and “marketing” from the comments fields and delete posts 24/7.

HOW WE LAUGH AT COMMENTS LIKE THESE!
All quotes left on Sony’s latest fake marketing blog:

“As a gamer who is part of Sony’s target audience I’m insulted not just by the integrity of this website, but that this reflects how intelligent Sony’s marketing department thinks I am.”

“Second…Sony…PLEASE stop trying to be ‘hip’. Please START focusing on product and games and opening a REAL dialogue with your users to make your gaming products better.”

“This fake cool vibe is as pathetic as an old uncle dancing to hip hop at a family wedding.”

“Please, while you’re removing this comment and the 200 other negative comments above it (again), have the decency to do one honest thing in your life and inform sony of just how bad they screwed up by ordering this a_d. This is simply so insulting to anyone who truly loves games, the only reaction you will likely get is a decreased willingness to buy anything sony branded.”

“Just checking back again, I note that my post,saying the word advert(i)sing was banned, has been deleted.”

“Thank you for making me feel even better about not buying your products! And by the way, your incredibly horrible attempts at typing in a way you must assume most gamers type is pathetic. Way to go! You just insulted all the people who buy your products! Now back to Mario on my DS. :)”

“Let’s face it folks, PSPs are utterly worthless unless you hack the thing. Downgrade your firmware to 1.50 and install Devhook 0.5.1 and emulate Firmware 3.02 – swapping between the two rocks. And you have ISO support now.”

“Makes me ashamed of buying a product from such losers. if you guys wanted to sell psp’s then why don’t you get dame game on it, right now theres no great games on psp just a bunch of shovelware.”

“No one wants a psp, and Sony is going down in flames. I’ve awaited this day for many, many years now.”

“What The Hell! Not only is this fraud of a joke site a simple paid for advertisement for Sony, but it also is horrendously awful! You spent how much on this absolute tripe? Sony shareholders better wake up and start firing people left and right if they want to retain any value.”

“You want people to love your products and actually produce sites like this? Don’t pay someone make a site… Just make a product good enough for people to love. The community and love will follow.”

SEE THE DISASTER UNFOLD, LIVE!
And be sure to check out the awesome defence posts by site updaters ‘charlie’ and ‘cousinpete’ such as…

“we be just tryin to represent u guys… regular playas just tryin to get their gaem on, but now u gotta do all be dis then… u guys are noubs, pwnd!!” – ‘charlie’

…and…

“You all is haters tymes 4. Dis is lee-git. Don’t know why youse thinks this is a schill. Are site was registered through an external provider. We don’t work for sony. And for all you dissin’ my skillz I’m down for a one on one rap off or settling it street stylez if you feel me playa. Teh. I own a Nintendo DS and I love it. I would still like a PSP for shizzle. But the DS is just as solid.” – ‘cousinpete’

…over here at Sony’s latest attempt at lying to people on the internet.

EMERGENCY BACK-UP:
When all the posts get deleted and the site gets closed because it’s just too embarrassing to carry on having it on the internet, a recent back-up of the page will be located here. It’s simply too good to let fade away.

Episode 1: Ken and the Giant Bears

Next week: Ken and the 400,000 American units.

Years ago, there was a mad bloke who used to go round Southend-on-Sea with a big marker pen writing CANCELLED on all the posters advertising forthcoming gigs. His dedication was legendary. No promoter could escape his midnight scribblings. We thought of him when we heard today’s news and made this in his honour.

Tomorrow: Gran Turismo PSP CANCELLED! Probably.

Ha ha! We’ve only been joking for the last ten years! Sony rocks! Let’s all go and buy PlayStation3s and not even sell them on Ebay the next day! Let’s buy 50 just to put in a cupboard! Come on, everybody! The PS3 party queue starts right behind us!

TOGETHER WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE
The Utility Belt: Sony’s loss is at least $240 on every PS3, triple Xbox 360’s

And the amazing thing is the reporter managed to find one man who was buying it for his kid, and not just to sell on for profit. The great thing about this, of course, is that no one will buy any games and Sony will just lose loads of money on the hardware everyone’s buying to sell on. So carry on, greedy Ebay losers! You’re actually doing us a favour.

We’ll just be staying inside and not wasting our money on an over-priced rubbish thing we don’t need.

Just checking his Ebay listing…

You know they’ve already spent the profit they think they’re going to make by selling the shitbox for twice the price to some loser next week. But what on? Crystal meth?

This fat fuck thinks he’s going to sell his PS3 on Ebay for two grand. Please, America, don’t fall for it. Wait until Sony cuts the price or there’s at least a game for it you really want instead of a deeply boring one you’re pretending to want – i.e. Resistance Fall of Man.

Make sure you watch the video until the end. He clearly doesn’t have a clue about the whole thing.

What happened here is that Sony pasted a pretend energy bar and HUD onto a CG image, and some people sort of believed it for a while there:

This is the ‘BEFORE’ shot, from back when the entire internet didn’t make up 10,000 Photoshop jokes about PS3 every day (we’re very proud of you all).

And this is what it really looks like running on PS3. At least they got the Stamina gauge right, although they forgot what side they put it on when making the actual game.

HOW YOU CAN HELP:
Please vandalise the game’s Wikipedia entry accordingly.