Even bloody Ridge Racer’s gone all grey and shit

Ridge Racer’s been on a downward spiral ever since the inclusion of the nitro, but this is something else.

It’s been farmed out to Helsinki-based ‘legends’ Bugbear Entertainment because Namco don’t care about it any more.

Bugbear will be best remembered for gaming gems such as Flatout, Flatout 2, Sega Rally Revo (PSP port) and a wank old N-Gage game.

I bet they’ve put guns in it.

Really, really do not understand the modern world and don’t want to have any part of it any more. The best thing that could happen to society now is a nuclear war and subsequent forced return to subsistence living.

Is she… attempting to make it look like she knows you have to use your thumbs?

LONDON & SAN FRANCISCO (31st Jan 2010)— SEGA® Europe Ltd. and SEGA® of America, Inc. announced today that SEGA Rally Online Arcade™, a new HD title inspired by SEGA Rally Revo™ and SEGA Rally 3™, will be racing onto PlayStation® Network and Xbox LIVE® Arcade for the Xbox 360® video game and entertainment system from Microsoft in 2011. SEGA’s arcade and console favourite will include a collection of new features, including the ability for gamers to race their friends online!

That’s their exclamation mark. More here.

This has appeared on a Korean games ratings website

Fingers crossed it’s more of this…..

…..and less of this

That’s more of this…..

…..and less of this

Just so we’re completely clear. More of this…..

…..less of this

And now for the bad news.

Sony filed the rating so it’s likely to be an exclusive title for the PS3 and/or that new handheld thing they’re releasing for people with massive hands.

Although nothing sexual happens or is even hinted at in the subtext.

“Good old Pakistan, keeping the dream alive!” – Zed Minor X.

It’s not called Nights.
Nor does it look anything like Nights.
It doesn’t seem to be about dreams.
Or nightmares.

It’s got flying in it though.
Oh, and Yuji Naka’s directing it.

On reflection, perhaps I shouldn’t have implied it was a new Nights installment after all?

It’s slap-dash, sensationalist post titles like this that give credible gaming sites a bad name!

,

Don’t get too excited. It’s on the Wii and 3DS

The screen grabs don’t get any better than this either. If anything, they get worse

The photographer should’ve used the MACRO MODE

He’s tried one with the flash on to see if it’s improved things

That’s a bit better. Shame it’s the last one.

Everything was pinched from here

The game’s called Tenkuu no Kishi Rodea which probably translates to something about shooting and/or flying

It’ll turn out to be shit.

The Mega Drive version of Virtua Fighter 2 is now available on iPhone. It probably sold more copies than the PAL Saturn release in the time it took you to make that cup of tea.

Happy? Sad? Indifferent? Confused? Annoyed that Sarah Bryant’s tits won’t be as nice in 2D?

This is turning out nice.

As in, it might be worth spending 10 minutes with to confirm that it’s exactly the same game underneath, then not bothering any more because it’s exactly the same game underneath.

That’s some serious peril. You could possibly spin-dash forwards, but the only real way to safeguard the rings would be a humiliating jump backwards.

Sega are reviving the Dreamcast brand by releasing a four in one Dreamcast game pack for PC and Xbox Live Arcade.

With their immense back catalogue we’re sure to be in for quite a treat.

Daytona?
Sega Rally 2?
Shenmue?
Jet Set Radio?

No!

Instead, they’ve opted for:
Stupid Bass Fishing
Space Channel 5 Part 2
Sonic Adventure
Crazy shitting Taxi

Apparently, they’re ‘visually enhanced’

They might even make it so you can’t fall through the floor in Sonic Adventure.

Also, two of these are already available on Xbox Live Arcade, which is certain to please anyone who’s previously purchased them.

Here’s a video of Michael Jackson in Space Channel 5 Part 2

Thinking back, Space Channel 5 wasn’t actually that good.

Disappointing lack of dripping cock monsters looming ominously over tearful schoolgirls that only look about 14, but it’s good to see SEGA’s remaining fan base still pines after the return of Cream to the “canon” character universe.

Not sure about the socks and sandals thing, though. It certainly isn’t as enjoyable as Kylie’s ongoing Shoe of the Day Twitter output that has taken #1 spot on the in-house internet hit parade.

“Cream the Rabbit in a Kimono. I thought this was right up your street” – Mr Needlemouse.