Did we ever use these pictures? Seems like the sort of thing we would’ve been all over with the enthusiasm of a rottweiler in a pork pie factory, but there’s no trace of them in the archives. We have a zipped folder of 22 of these beauties just sitting here.

Here’s a photo of a 24-year-old marketing account manager wondering why Sony & Disney both think she wants to play “Hannah Montana: Rock Out the Show”.

Hopefully, at this very moment, a fresh bunch of attractive German full-body models are converging upon a recently renovated rented loft apartment at the request of Sony Computer Entertainment to pose for a batch of PSP Go “lifestyle” shots.

Don’t get too excited. More than half the photos in the newly-discovered folder are of men clenching their fists and doing a “COME ON! I bloody LOVE this extension of the PlayStation brand!” face, which is why the zip file has spent the last two years languishing in a folder.

Laugh? Cry? Become a vegetarian and move to a bit of the planet that is yet to be TARNISHED by the evil of video games? Start hurting people just for the fun of it as the world is clearly ruined already anyway?

Days since last played a video game – 92.

Codemasters, adrenaline still pumping through its veins from the thrilling photo opportunity with some strippers, has obviously decided that “photos of women” is the “way to go” from now on.

There must’ve been a meeting about it.

“Don’t worry, everyone will get a go at being near the women.”

“Mike? Did you want a go standing near the women?”

“Chris? Have you had a go at being near the women yet?”

“Who else wants to have a go at being near the women?”

“Come on, last chance. They have to go back to their proper boyfriends soon. They’ve been paid money to be here today, so they won’t slag you off or belittle you too much after.”

“Yes, it’s OK to put your arm around them.”

“Just try not to roughly grab their arms. They don’t like that.”

“Last call. Anyone else want to be near a woman and get a free Polaroid of the moment to take away?”

“Paul, don’t be shy. Come and have go at being near them. They won’t bite! Not unless you ask them to!!”

“No, seriously. They won’t bite. It’s fine. Come and have a go.”

“We’ll put the mask over your head so no one can see you blushing.”

Sorry if you are any of these people.

Very sorry.

As well as the still-vacant position of SEGA Europe Official Flickr Account Monitor, UKR is pleased to announce we are now recruiting for a SEGA US Official Flickr Account Monitor.

The role would ideally suit an unemployed gentleman of advanced years who is always very angry but can’t ever work out why.

“Here are a few photos for the UK:R wank-bank I thought you may like brought to your attention.”

“These two are of the ‘hair woman’ from Bayoneta.”

“And here is a shite quality one of some blonde, apparently from ‘Alpha Protocol’.”

“There is also a bunch more taken with an iPhone of a woman called Daisy Fuentes. I don’t know who that is so didn’t bother to include them. I have nothing more to add” – Edd.