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ASSORTED ITALIAN DREAMCAST LOGOS

Things have been getting way too interesting around here, what with all the aspirational lifestyle images and youth-oriented product news.

So…

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“From my holiday in Cinque Terre, Italy.” – Chris.

italian-dreamcast-spiral-1

Thanks, Chris. This will shut everyone up for at least 72 hours.

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ANOTHER CRAPPY PIECE OF PLASTIC SHIT TO SPEND £149 ON THEN THROW IN THE BOTTOMLESS CUPBOARD OF MISERY YOU LAUGHABLY REFER TO AS A “LIFE”

And now for the key change and some exclamation marks – there’s a new thing being made in the SEGA Toys factory of dreams!

sega_toys_projector-uchiagehanabi

It’s called the Uchiagehanabi. That name’s going to hurt export sales. It projects fireworks on the ceiling. It would appear that SEGA Toys development team has got stuck in a bit of a rut of only making things that project lights onto ceilings. Don’t let us be misunderstood here – we like lying on carpets looking at pretty lights, but it’s probably about time SEGA Toys got a new idea. We are ready for change.

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And this looks RUBBISH.

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Stolen from here, with additional pictures and videos available here – but there’s not much happening on the official product page.

That was a lot of tabs we had open at once, there. Nearly got confused and gave up on the whole thing.

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ADVANCE NOTIFICATION OF “CHANGE”

There will be a light to moderate change to UKR ‘rolling out’ some time this week. It’s nothing to panic about and won’t involve any frightening new colours like last time. Just so you know.

You might want to spend a few minutes thinking up a good user name in preparation, that’s all.

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LITERALLY 30 PHOTOS FROM A MAN’S “SEGA HONEYMOON”

Literally 30. That’s way too many photographs of empty rooms full of neon tat for most web sites. Fortunately, we do not have the same standards as most web sites.

UKR was formed before internet quality standards were introduced on January 1st 1998, so they don’t apply here. So let’s go.

“Hi. Love your site. Went on a SEGA specific Japan honeymoon with my wife and sought out the great SEGA spots that we only get mere glimpses of on websites.”

“It was in November so there was a weird cross between Halloween and Xmas promotion going on.”

“One of our stops was the SEGA Joypolis in Yokohama… famous for having the SEGASONIC bowling alley and karaoke bar. Well, SEGA sold off that section, but as the pics can attest, remnants of SEGA remain.”

“Last was SEGA SONICTOWN. The most SONIC of all remaining arcades in the world. Not much attention on the net, so I thought these pics could show the world what it’s like. SEGA!” – Radguy.

Thanks for the photos “Radguy”.

One problem, though – you have supplied NOTHING LIKE ENOUGH text to accompany 30 photographs.

It’s going to be very, very hard for us to write something about the remaining 23.

There’s not even any people in half the photos, or any recognisable machinery.

What the hell is this? Some sort of immersive live-action Space Channel 5 simulator?

Sonic.

A bowling lane. Nice font.

Neon.

How do you get to go on a SEGA honeymoon anyway?

Surely girls don’t really like SEGA as much as men? She’s just going along with it all through fear of getting old without having a baby, surely?

See what’s happened now? The submitter didn’t send in enough words to go with the pictures, so now we’ve reverted to type and are abusing his no-doubt-lovely lady wife. We are SCUM :(

Sorry, Radguy and Mrs Radguy, but it’s your own fault. You can’t go expecting us to be polite.

Photos of stuff that’s not for us.

Photos of stuff that’s not for us.

It’s sad to see that all Japanese arcades are equally as empty as UK arcades. At least they’re brighter and cleaner.

Empty.

Embarrassingly empty.

So empty that we’re starting to suspect that “Radguy” is actually a millionaire celebrity, who paid the arcades tens of thousands of pounds to kick all the paying punters out for a few hours so he could have a good look around on his own without being bothered by dirty normal people with their burgers and their Pepsis.

Even the surrounding pavement is empty. People don’t even hang around outside or in the vicinity of arcades any more.

At least everything is clean thanks to being untouched by human hands.

It will help the administrators raise money for the creditors when the arcade owner inevitably goes bust and they have to sell everything on to the next sucker who thinks running an arcade is a good idea.

He will be going bust this autumn if business doesn’t significantly pick up during the summer months, by the look of things.

This one and another three photos to go.

Then we will be free of this burden!

Until tomorrow :(

If the last photo was a shot of the bride & groom smiling in front of this thing and looking like they’d just “done it” in the privacy of one of those photo printing machines, it could’ve been a good Last Update Ever. But we can’t go out like this. Most of the captions were padding.

INTERNET QUALITY CONTROL GUIDELINES

Sites registered prior to 1997: Anything goes. The internet needs as much content as possible to ensure it “catches on”.

Sites registered from Jan 1st 1998: Please try to only post the, say, 10 best photos out of a batch of, say, 30 photos. This is to ensure the internet stops being flooded by crap and “catches on”.

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LITERALLY 30 PHOTOS FROM A MAN’S “SEGA HONEYMOON”

Literally 30. That’s way too many photographs of empty rooms full of neon tat for most web sites. Fortunately, we do not have the same standards as most web sites.

UKR was formed before internet quality standards were introduced on January 1st 1998, so they don’t apply here. So let’s go.

“Hi. Love your site. Went on a SEGA specific Japan honeymoon with my wife and sought out the great SEGA spots that we only get mere glimpses of on websites.”

“It was in November so there was a weird cross between Halloween and Xmas promotion going on.”

“One of our stops was the SEGA Joypolis in Yokohama… famous for having the SEGASONIC bowling alley and karaoke bar. Well, SEGA sold off that section, but as the pics can attest, remnants of SEGA remain.”

“Last was SEGA SONICTOWN. The most SONIC of all remaining arcades in the world. Not much attention on the net, so I thought these pics could show the world what it’s like. SEGA!” – Radguy.

Thanks for the photos “Radguy”.

One problem, though – you have supplied NOTHING LIKE ENOUGH text to accompany 30 photographs.

It’s going to be very, very hard for us to write something about the remaining 23.

There’s not even any people in half the photos, or any recognisable machinery.

What the hell is this? Some sort of immersive live-action Space Channel 5 simulator?

Sonic.

A bowling lane. Nice font.

Neon.

How do you get to go on a SEGA honeymoon anyway?

Surely girls don’t really like SEGA as much as men? She’s just going along with it all through fear of getting old without having a baby, surely?

See what’s happened now? The submitter didn’t send in enough words to go with the pictures, so now we’ve reverted to type and are abusing his no-doubt-lovely lady wife. We are SCUM :(

Sorry, Radguy and Mrs Radguy, but it’s your own fault. You can’t go expecting us to be polite.

Photos of stuff that’s not for us.

Photos of stuff that’s not for us.

It’s sad to see that all Japanese arcades are equally as empty as UK arcades. At least they’re brighter and cleaner.

Empty.

Embarrassingly empty.

So empty that we’re starting to suspect that “Radguy” is actually a millionaire celebrity, who paid the arcades tens of thousands of pounds to kick all the paying punters out for a few hours so he could have a good look around on his own without being bothered by dirty normal people with their burgers and their Pepsis.

Even the surrounding pavement is empty. People don’t even hang around outside or in the vicinity of arcades any more.

At least everything is clean thanks to being untouched by human hands.

It will help the administrators raise money for the creditors when the arcade owner inevitably goes bust and they have to sell everything on to the next sucker who thinks running an arcade is a good idea.

He will be going bust this autumn if business doesn’t significantly pick up during the summer months, by the look of things.

This one and another three photos to go.

Then we will be free of this burden!

Until tomorrow :(

If the last photo was a shot of the bride & groom smiling in front of this thing and looking like they’d just “done it” in the privacy of one of those photo printing machines, it could’ve been a good Last Update Ever. But we can’t go out like this. Most of the captions were padding.


INTERNET QUALITY CONTROL GUIDELINES

Sites registered prior to 1997: Anything goes. The internet needs as much content as possible to ensure it “catches on”.

Sites registered from Jan 1st 1998: Please try to only post the, say, 10 best photos out of a batch of, say, 30 photos. This is to ensure the internet stops being flooded by crap and “catches on”.

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THEY HAVE LAUNCHED WORLD OF WARCRAFT IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY

And when in Rome (or Korea), wear what the Romans (or Koreans) wear. Tummies and thighs are not considered rude in Korea.

They’re trying to spell something out. Send a message. The first letter’s an ‘F’, the girl in the middle’s doing a “U” and the one on the right wants it twice. What could it MEAN?

Found by a “Matt”. There are more photos here where we stole these from. We thought about just stealing them all, but it seems a bit unfair.

It’d also mean us having to write 14 bits of text instead of just four.

We have just signed up for Twitter and are now a bit too busy for that.

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AN EMAIL FROM THE NiGHTS COSPLAYER WITH THE SMALL HEAD

Apparently. This email is also unique in that it’s from a person who had their photo put on here without asking yet is NOT angry about it.

“Hello UKR from the NiGHTS cosplayer with a proportionately small head! I love you guys. Anyway – I come bearing a photo that may be of interest to you. It was taken at a convention in America by a visitor from our website last year. Speaks for itself really. Enjoy” – NiGHTS Cosplayer with Small Head.

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A SMALL PIECE OF RIPPED-OFF POSTER SOMEWHERE IN GERMANY

We think we’re getting near THE END. There can’t be much more after this.

After this, all there’s left for us to do is list all the SEGA Mega CD games one by one, in alphabetical order. Then we can stop.

“Before you ask, yes, that is the highest resolution my camera takes. And in case you feel an inexplicable urge to visit that location right away it is here. Regards” – Jens.

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*GENITAL EXPLOSION*

SARAH BRYANT AND ULALA INHABITING THE SAME BIT OF FLESH! COMBINED INTO ONE ULTIMATE HUMAN FORM FACTOR! ONLY NEEDS ANNA KOURNIKOVA’S HAIR TO BE CONSIDERED PERFECT!

The person who spotted this says we should all go off to SEGA’s Facebook page and start hassling it to release a console version of VF5R. We don’t particularly agree with that idea from a business perspective, but are glad to help nonetheless.

We could also do with some legal guidance as to if it’s OK to take photos off SEGA’s Facebook galleries or not. There is some good ‘material’ on it. You will know what picture we mean when you see it.

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A NASCAR TATTOO THAT TWO MEN THINK LOOKS LIKE DAYTONA USA

For every delicate flower with clean little milk teeth and an innocent smile there are 10,000 of these MONSTERS lurking out in the real world.

Can’t tell if it’s the rolls of flab distorting the image or if it’s just extremely shoddy artwork. Don’t really want to analyse it in detail, either.

“Me and my mate Mentski think this tattoo looks like Daytona USA – and he really likes Daytona! Not as much as he likes Street Fighter though…” – Favus.

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