“I really think you need to post this photo on your site, but unfortunately Richard Jacques wasn’t there to grab my ass this time. And as you can see I’ve given up the heroin ;) Which may put you off, but if you’re lucky I could ask Rich to grab your ass in return – ‘Ulala’.”

This, of course, is the CG trailer for Motorstorm 2. This is what they SAID it would look like. Some people may have actually believed this!

And here’s the game. This is what it really looks like. There’s a bit of a difference. The sort of difference that some might say is downright CRIMINAL and a deliberately misleading act by a DESPERATE company on the brink of losing everything.

This is also the game. Note that even covering the image with blur effects cannot mask the 1996-standard blotchy brown ground texture. As a last roll of the dice before extinction, this is a pathetic attempt.

You’re not winning us over by putting hot air balloons in it. Created by Evolution Studios. Or, as we shall now insist they are called, Devolution Studios. Or perhaps even Final Solution Studios, such is the horrific nature of the scheme it is planning to unleash.

Seven of them, at a cost of at least £100 an hour each. And the one at the bottom-right is probably even as much as £150. The stops have been pulled out.

Not a cheap Chinese rip-off. It is, in fact, a reason to visit an arcade again for the first time since 2005.

“I’ll see if I get more time and get some better pics of the machine and a vid of it in motion. I didn’t see anyone else play it, but I was feeling proper rocked about when I sat in there!”

“Hope this is good enough, I was gonna send you a picture of a tramp walking around with Sonic the Hedgehog woolly hat, but I accidentally deleted the pic. Oh, and any chance you can put GHZ on the side of your “For people who asked nicely” for a link? THANKS!

Gamasutra is clearly hinting that Jessica Tams (left) and Jennifer MacLean are the only “woulds” out of the whole bunch. Although we would also suggest that Gamasutra probably has a thing for the matronly charms of Perrin Kaplan. Gamasutra is a DISGRACE.

Adequate. Made it through unscathed. No one died or got grassed up. 5/10.

Taken from SEGA Europe’s amazing Flickr pages. That’s OFFICIAL CONFIRMATION of the existence of Saturn II by SEGA. Review units should be out in the next couple of months, prior to what is clearly a winter 2008 release.

“I spotted this over a week ago, back when we had this year’s summer. It’s not a perfect Sega Saturn, but it certainly isn’t any other games console. Just look at the pad! Buttons are probably missing because any extra detail would be lost in the fuzzy printing process.”

“You can just about see that the Fanta competition is currently running, although I know if the can had been from a 1996 promotion and I’d kept it for 12 years it would feel more special. This one got binned because it was a bit sticky, but I reckon it should be possible to pick up more collectable Saturn Fanta cans for a few weeks at least. Tesco are doing a two packs of six for £4 offer – Bander.”

PLEASE

GOD

MAKE IT

STOP.

“I must admit, I kind of thought that this whole SEGA-spotting thing was getting a bit old and possibly even dull, but that was until I did some myself. WOW! It feels so good! Anyway, here’s some pictures of a can of Fanta.”

“I didn’t actually read the back of the can, but it looks like they’re running a competition where you can win something that you want, instead of them selling out to any particular company. BUT LOOK! In order to show everyone what kind of things that they should be wanting, in prime position on the front of the can is a Saturn! Not only that, but a WHITE Saturn! That’s what the kids should lust after these days, not a Sony XBox or whatever. Lots of love, Chris.”