It’s not for frozen peas. This isn’t an elaborate double bluff.

It’s not for ladies shoes.

It’s not for make-up or high-grade narcotics.

It’s not for jewellery.

It’s not for Lily Allen’s new range of dresses.

It’s not for Ikea.

It is, incredibly, for Sony’s PSP!

Look at it there. That’s a PSP you can just about see a bit of. Click on it for the amazing full-resolution shame of it all.

And there’s three other sets we’re saving for later.

Come on, you lot are always flying out there on a whim to meet someone who may or may not be a girl you’ve been chatting to on MSN for all of five minutes. Put it in that empty suitcase you’re taking with you in the hope of finding ten boxed copies of Samba De Amigo and 20 Radiant Silverguns to bring back and sell.

The blog we nicked all these videos off said it costs about 70 dollars, so we’ll give you 50 quid to bring one back. And one of the several thousand UKR t-shirts we’ve got left. OK, 55 quid and no t-shirt.

This will go nicely next to the Homestar in the UKR SEGA Dream (wanking) Room (IMPORTANT: Please knock before entering).

Don’t care if it’s male or female. We just want to shake it by the hand and say thanks for a full 32 hours of sniggering.

WHO WOULD THINK ABOUT THIS? “A store of video games in the city of Recife, Brazil. Sonic announcing games of PlayStation, who would think about this!”

COSTA DEL TWAT: “I was on holiday in Spain and saw this dude walking around with a Dreamcast logo on his back. Although I generally avoid taking photographs of topless blokes, I found this funny. I’m guessing he didn’t realise it was a Dreamcast logo and he thought it was just some artsy shit. But anyway, thought you might like to take the piss out of it. Cheers, Chris.”

This one arrived with no explanation. Which is annoying, as it’s the one that most needs explaining, particularly about if it’s a boy or a girl under that embarrassing mess. It’s unlikely to matter in the long term, though, as the chances of anyone being interested in the genital configuration of a Sonic cosplayer are extremely remote. We’re going for girl, as they would appear to be the flabby, untoned upper arms of a female gamer.

Here it is again, just in case you missed it or your eyes/brain blocked it out.

This isn’t really “taking a photo of a booth babe” – it’s stalking a woman going about her everyday business in the street. Look, that’s her suitcase, not an NVIDIA promotional carrier bag.

They’re far away, and the thing they were doing has finished.

What if she turned around? It’s one thing going up to a woman and asking if you can take her photo – that’s quite normal at a trade show. But taking one from behind and quite far away just makes you look extremely odd.

This one sort of delivers, but we’d need to see the front of it before coming to any firm conclusion.

Classic shy man photo. Don’t want to lift the camera up too much, or someone might think you’re actually taking a photograph.

Far away, from behind. 2/10.

Not only is this far away and from behind, the angle of the shot suggests he’s even up on a different level looking over the edge! This isn’t much better quality than you’d get from just zooming in on the show’s location on Google Maps.

Really far away. And with a man in the way for added safety.

They’re not even on duty! The biggest trade show faux pas you can make is attempting to interact with the booth staff while they’re on a break. They’re allowed a break because of laws, and would rather spend it smoking and slagging people like us off, not talking to us and trying to stop us taking photos up their dresses.

Finally – a great shot. That man has stopped in his tracks just to stare at the front of a woman. He may even have his cock in his left hand, such is his unashamed ogling.

FROM FOREIGNLAND: “Hello UK:R! Here are some pictures of a local shop here in Brunei Darussalam that has Sonic on their store sign! Hope you like them! Justin.”

They’ve used the Sonic 3 artwork. This means any task you ask Sonicom Enterprises to do will take ages, cost too much, and they’ll have to come back in a year to finish it properly.

Sonicom Enterprises is basically one man with a screwdriver, a PC and a printer. A bit like SEGA Europe was in 2001.

The use of the term ‘N-Gage Points’ shows they couldn’t be bothered in the slightest. We feel like congratulating them on being so blatantly tired of it all. They know it’s still not going to work, so what’s the point?

KEYWORDS: Japanese, toilet, photo, woman, girl, feet, German, piss.

MAN IN GERMANY SAYS: “While visiting Leipzig recently, I saw Mario and Sonic TOGETHER. They were CROSS PROMOTING that awful Mario and Sonic Olympics game. It made me sad to watch the screen and see them racing against each other. Even worse was that they’d made the game totally unrealistic by allowing Sonic to actually lose. At one point Sonic was being beaten in the 100m sprint by FAT FUCK Mario and a stupid giant lizard thing! Sorry about the poor light quality on the picture, I was too upset to operate the flash. Mike.”