This is the painting we mentioned yesterday. It is very special. It was spotted on the wall of an arcade in Ilfracombe. Ilfracombe is in Devon, which explains its existence quite well.
It’s Sonic’s dad. He was a skinhead in the 70s and is now the landlord of a pub in East London.
filed in Uncategorized on Jul.31, 2007
This sighting was made in Teignmouth. On the pier. Teignmouth seems to be lagging behind a bit when it comes to getting the latest arcade releases, as for the people of Teignmough, finding out how strong your wrists are is still considered a fun activity:
It’s a knob-twisting test of strength, like those mammoth, three-hour Friday night wanking sessions. So much for Nintendo and its “new” ideas – SEGA was licensing this kind of interactive game shit back in 1947. We would really like to see a working Perfumatic too.
The man who sent this in also found a very good painting of Sonic The Hedgehog on the wall of an arcade in Ilfracombe. We’re saving that for a separate update, as it’s such an amazing image it’s going to require some thought.
filed in Uncategorized on Jul.30, 2007
PlayStation3 quote of the decade! Sony Japan’s chief financial officer, Nobuyuki Oneda, has made the joke reality. Speaking to a news agency about how shit it’s all been going, Oneda said that low PS3 sales were good because they meant Sony made less of a loss on each one.
This is the greatest case of a cloud having a silver lining ever. He actually said these words in this exact order:
“Actually, because the number of units sold was not as high as we hoped, the loss was better than our original expectation” – Nobuyuki Oneda, Sony Japan
Amazing. Literally amazing. Actually, visibly and physically amazing. Amazing to the foundations of the core.
And so it came to pass.
filed in Uncategorized on Jul.27, 2007
How very Web 2.0 of it. SEGA Europe’s Flickr account is, as you might expect, a very odd place. Odder than here, even. Odder than when we do updates that draw in the freaks, even.
Like this. A photo in which a man has made himself look like Sonic, no doubt to fuel his SICK masturbatory fantasies.
We hope that’s going to rub off.
This is what we look like, isn’t it?
This is very frightening. The police really should get involved now, before something serious happens. Something involving this man, his workplace, a vast personal collection of weaponry and very messy suicide.
filed in Uncategorized on Jul.26, 2007
If they’re not sacrificing goats or desecrating churches then they’re forcing explicit images of homosexual sex acts upon unsuspecting gamers. This latest outrage sees a character with a blatant double-entendre of a name “Solid Snake” engaged in perverted activities with another man in military uniform. We really don’t want to know what CQC techniques are or how they enable the character to get ‘deeper into the battlefield’ but we’ll certainly be writing to our MPs to complain.
Hopefully this was made just for us and isn’t just stolen off (of) some internet forum.
filed in Uncategorized on Jul.26, 2007
Pretty awful. Black denim was socially acceptable in the mainstream back then, not just for ageing goths. They look like today’s lesbians. Anyway, that’s not the point of this “slow day” update, as you’ve no doubt already scrolled down and noticed.
This is a gonzo photo report from “circa 1993” which features a photo of, and these capital letters aren’t ours so may be taken seriously, a GIANT SONIC KITE.
HOW IT CAME TO BE: “I found this picture, taken in Richmond Park circa 1993. I have cropped one particular area which shows a GIANT SONIC KITE which I thought might interest you. As I write this I think I may have sent it before, and you obviously didn’t like it then, so won’t be liking it now. But I’m a bit bored of wanking temporarily. So enjoy the picture, and if you have a slow day or wish to ‘bury bad news’ this might be perfect. The resolution is poor, as it is a pre-digital picture :( Have a gratifying day.”
filed in Uncategorized on Jul.25, 2007
Richard has done an interview for Gamesindustry.biz. Quite why he has given THEM an interview instead of US we don’t know. Is Ellie Gibson more interesting than us now? Is she? It doesn’t matter anyway because we already knew Richard would be at the Develop conference in Brighton this week and we knew he’d be doing a half hour slot on Tuesday and another on Wednesday about high-end production techniques. In fact, we’re posting this update from the lobby of Richard’s hotel. We saw him when he arrived earlier but he didn’t recognise us despite us waving. Then the lift doors closed before we could get in. We think he’s on the third floor. Never mind. We’re sure to see him at the conference. If we can just find a way in…
filed in Uncategorized on Jul.25, 2007
We haven’t made an enemy for ages, so this is quite an exciting return to hating people we don’t know on the internet. Our new, official enemy is The Player. It is a PDF magazine. And there are even more reasons to hate it than that.
The third-last thing the world needs more of is PDF magazines. Not only is The Player a PDF magazine, and therefore literally unreadable without doing something out of the ordinary, but it’s also only available as a zipped file. And it runs MSN conversations between the staff as features. Even Edge never stooped that far up its own arse.
The second-last thing the world needs more of is NINE PAGE interviews with Kieron Gillen, conducted by the sort of people who aspire to one day be like Kieron Gillen if they keep plugging away on that irreverent blog of theirs. NINE PAGES!
And the actual last thing the world needs more of is a FULL PAGE PHOTO of Kieron Gillen’s face, especially not if you’ve just bought a 20″ monitor and are yet to turn the brightness down. There’s nothing that bad about Kieron’s face in particular, it just creates a general feeling of rage.
OFFICIAL NOTIFICATION OF NEW ENEMY:
We are now at a state of enemies with The Player. Anyone caught mentioning, reading, linking to or promoting it in any way is therefore an enemy of UKR.
filed in Uncategorized on Jul.24, 2007
Yes, the ATEI show that took place back in January. You got a problem with that? If you have, your problem will soon disappear in the face of HOT SEGA BOOTH GIRL ACTION!
There are 50-odd photos. Some good, some rubbish, most of them a bit grainy, but most of them also of models in tight white SEGA vests.
There’s something so brilliantly sexist about SEGA’s arcade division. They’re always pulling stunts like this. Like when they hired a woman. If only this sort of behaviour wasn’t dying out.
It’s that rubbish wonky-faced Sonic again. This isn’t fair. We have wonky faces, yet are never surrounded by hot SEGA girls.
New desktop image! Loads of SEGA girls, plus room for icons in the roof and floor bit. Perfect.
New desktop image! Loads of SEGA girls, plus room for icons in the roof and floor bit, plus a slightly better arrangement of girls. The photographer was clearly growing in confidence by this point and was happy telling the women how to pose.
We should thank The Man who sent us these photos. We trust enough time has passed for you not to get in trouble over this.
“Better get one of them”
The man on the left clearly thinks he’s the only one with a chance with the ladies, thanks to being younger.
Our money’s on the man in the middle, though, as he probably paid for them and mini-bused them in from Kings Cross, so gets first pick.
This is what happens when loads of men who work on an industrial estate all year get given a budget to attend a trade show. Models and tight t-shirts.
The man on the right has got a bit of red-eye going on and looks like a monster about to pounce. It is somehow perfect.
Sadly, the photos are taken with an entry level camera that doesn’t capture the glory of this moment. We suspect these may even be high-end cameraphone shots. There was a boy out there doing a man’s job.
Next year we are going to ATEI with at least 10 megapixels at our disposal. We will also get closer. That’s a promise.
filed in Uncategorized on Jul.23, 2007
A man went to SEGA World, in 1999. Nothing unusual in that, you might think. After all, SEGA still had a bit of non-ruined popularity left over in 1999 and was surfing the wave of Dreamcast. Or paddling near the sewerage outlet of Dreamcast, as it subsequently turned out.
Anyway, Joe went to SEGA World – and took some video of it. The SEGA World of 1999 is now saved forever in the collective Google memory. Joe has even performed a rudimentary ‘edit’ of the footage and added some music! It’s quite an epic piece.
FROM JOE: “I found some old home video footage of my trip to SEGA World back in 1999. It’s not much but it’s got the entrance way, two Sonic statues and a view outside the building. You can see it here or I can upload it somewhere else if you prefer. Joe”.
filed in Uncategorized on Jul.19, 2007
THIS IS HOW IT ALWAYS ENDS