Our European cousins, for so long under the evil Sony cosh, have united as one and OUSTED THE TYRANNY OF EVIL from their glorious lands! No longer are they blindly paying the equivalent RRP of £299 for a shite console based around making films look marginally better than before if you sit near the screen.

Or, to put it sensibly so today’s news-aggregating-media outlets can understand after a two-second scan of the facts, Microsoft has just said Xbox 360 is outselling PS3 in France, Spain and Italy. Here’s a link to Eurogamer saying it, as you’re more likely to believe stuff on Eurogamer than on here, AREN’T YOU?

Expect future Sony press releases to concentrate on the performance of the “PlayStation Family” in Denmark during 2008, relative to the performance of the “PlayStation Family” in Denmark during the 1970s.

EVIL Sony boasted to the world about there being 14 million PlayStation Network users in the world in this deliberately-misleading update on its blog regarding PS3’s “success” last week.

You might quite reasonably expect that to mean there are 14 million PS3s being used online, but no. That figure also included PSP PSN accounts, as Sony later confessed to Gamespot.

We never thought we’d see the day Gamespot symbolises truth and justice.

We’re sure that 19th on the UK chart at the end of Week Two is exactly what Sony had in mind for LittleBigPlanet. It’s all falling into place.

No, apart. It’s all falling apart. Let’s try one of those hilarious zooming-in jokes…

STAGE 1: A bit closer.

STAGE 2: Closer still.

STAGE 3: VERY CLOSE and therefore hilarious.

Our brave friends across the Atlantic are continuing to STICK IT TO and RIGHT INTO Sony, with PS3 sales DOWN 18% during October. Despite the launch of some shit user-generating, administrator-deleting content game about being a teddy bear and having your hard work removed that was all the rage for about 36 hours. Here’s a list.

US HARDWARE SALES FOR OCTOBER, 2008

Wii: 803,000
DS: 491,000
360: 371,000
PSP: 193,000
PS3: 190,000
PS2: 136,000

ANALYSIS:
Selling fewer consoles when you’ve got your most important game of the year out AND it’s nearly Christmas is a 10/10 on the SEGA Saturn UK Launch Disaster Scale.

SOFTWARE SALES EQUALLY SHAMBOLIC

1. 790k – Fable 2 (360)
2. 487k – Wii Fit (Wii)
3. 375k – Fallout 3 (360)
4. 290k – Mario Kart (Wii)
5. 282k – Wii Play (Wii)
6. 270k – Saints Row 2 (360)
7. 231k – SOCOM (PS3)
8. 215k – LittleBigPlanet (PS3)
9. 202k – NBA 2K9 (360)
10. 193k – Dead Space (360)

The ‘We Died And This Is What Heaven Is Like’ theory gains strength.

We can’t let it pass without comment that Sony is deleting piles of user-generated content from its tatty little teddy bear game that is ENTIRELY BASED AROUND and TO DO WITH user-generated content.

Just to recap, because it is a bit hard to understand. The game IS BUILT AROUND user-generated content. And Sony is DELETING user-generated content, despite previously being as happy as pigs in shit to tell everyone how cool “UGC” is and how LittleBigPlanet is ALL ABOUT IT and therefore also cool.

We just had to let you know that we have noticed this and are nursing the obligatory SONY DOOM semi.

Sony’s clearly making all these balls-ups on purpose so we can have a laugh. In fact, we may have all died in a nuclear war at the end of 2006 and this is heaven we’re in right now.

This image is taken from Sony’s E3 08 presentation, in which it cleverly recreated PlayStation imagery in LBP. This would be deleted if a user made it. Awesome corporate hypocrisy!

Just when you think video games are becoming an acceptable, adult, mainstream entertainment form free from the sexist, teenage boy cliches of years past…

…Sony goes and SPUNKS TEN YEARS OF WORK AWAY over the stomach of some low-grade model dressed like she’s in a 1986 Zzap! magazine ad for Strip Poker.

Amazing. Presumably Keeley is here to ensure Motorstorm gets a 20-word review in Nuts or Zoo and maybe catches the eye of Jonathan Weinberg.

VIDEO GAMES: Once again considered the preserve of virgins who are as familiar with the feel of ladies as they are with the atmospheric conditions of Neptune. Well done, Sony.

Courtesy of a graph in Japanese, courtesy of Nintendo, courtesy of an amazingly impenetrable thread about Nintendo’s performance over at NeoGAF.

It is nice to have clarity.

PS3 managed to sell even fewer units in Japan last week than the week before. AGAIN. The god of statistics has smiled on us once more.

JAPANESE HARDWARE SALES, WEEK ENDING OCTOBER 26

PSP: 60,467
Wii: 24,292
DS: 22,965
360: 7,844
PS2: 6,962
PS3: 3,931

ANALYSIS
To put this into context, 3,931 PlayStation3s is enough PlayStation3s to fit inside the boot of a Peugeot 306 estate, or enough PlayStation3s to completely fill an average household chest freezer. Today’s global news agenda set, as always, by NeoGAF.

PS3 managed to sell even fewer units in Japan last week than the week before. We cannot believe how OVER it is. It has happened and we’ve been cheering it all the way down!

JAPANESE HARDWARE SALES, WEEK ENDING OCTOBER 19

PSP: 159,816
DS: 29,839
Wii: 26,024
360: 7,856
PS2: 7,261
PS3: 4,725

ANALYSIS
4,725 PlayStation3s is enough PlayStation3s to stretch from one end of a room to the other end of a room. If piled on top of each other, the pile would nearly be as tall as a house. Today’s news agenda set, as always, by NeoGAF.

Great news from the financial markets! Sony, the manufacturer of over-priced and always-breaking electronics, has issued a profit warning, saying that demand for its over-priced and always-breaking electronics has fallen.

People are finally SEEING.

Today shall forever be known to the financial world as “Pink Thursday.”

Here’s how a city broker reacted to the news.