He is a typical German video gamer, apparently.

The campaign wants to highlight the “real gamers” of Germany and show that not everyone who plays games is a sick, anti-social weirdo. We have obviously focussed on the ones that do look like sick, anti-social weirdos for comic effect.

It’s nice to know that German hardcore gamers sometimes look exactly how you’d imagine them to

SAYS THE GERMAN: “We are doing an online-petition, because they want to ban videogames in Germany! The government thinks that every gamer is a potential psychopathkiller. So we ask people to register and upload their picture. Even if the Tommys don’t care about Germans being f*cked by the government, you still have to do a little newsflash about the site. Why? Because it is sponsored by segaON and consists of totally embarrassing pix like these. It is a comedy goldmine!”

This is what happens to a country when David Hasselhoff is considered a positive role model.

There are also women on it. German women, but they still have all the right bits for doing stuff with/to and some are quite passable.

It’s a shame Germany hasn’t got a Frag Dolls.

Tells a story. Has a punchline. Slags off Sony. All boxes ticked.

If we sell just twelve of these t-shirts we’ll have made more profit out of PlayStation3 than Sony and all third-party PS3 software publishers.

To make room for this future unsold stock, we’ve made all our unwanted, wrong-colour stock of old shirts 12 quid each. There is only limited room in our t-shirt/bike/porn/hostage storage cupboard. Our apologies to the two people who bought one in the last month.

These new ones are 14 Mighty English Pounds each, and that includes postage, even if you live somewhere far away that costs three quid to send it to. You also get a free envelope customised with your address written on it, plus a label in the back of the neck of each shirt that conveniently tells you what size it is.

Here, we put two oranges inside the shirt to simulate what it might look like if a girl was wearing it. It wasn’t very arousing, and just made ‘things’ seem worse.

If you work for Sony Computer Entertainment or Chart Track you can have one for free. Just email in from your work address, asking nicely, and saying that UKR is the best site on the whole internet, even including Pornotube and Torrentspy, and that it “brightens up your day” with its “accurate reporting of sales figures and public opinion”.

This is pretty much just a vanity project so we have one to wear around the house. We’re not expecting anyone to actually buy one.

We can’t wait to see what Sony’s embarrassing climbdown will be. Emergency 50 percent price cut? Cheaper new PS3 version without Blu-ray drive? Free t-shirts? Something has to be done before September, or it’s exit hardware industry time.

This is a flyer being circulated by someone called Alan who’s trying to sell a PS3 in a university. That’s his phone number. We’re not entirely sure about the legality of putting someone’s phone number on a web site read by lunatics, but are prepared to risk being implicated in Alan’s death for a minor laugh.

A sign saying “Wii ROX” made out of unsold PS3s. Hopefully this photo was arranged specifically for us, and hasn’t just been stolen off an internet forum.

Self explanatory.

What Ken Kutaragi did next. Again, hopefully this was made just for us and wasn’t stuck on Gaming-Age and featured on Kotaku three weeks ago. We’ve not been keeping up on gaming news recently, thanks to post-traumatic stress brought about by the WAR.

This image was definitley made for us. No one else would have it.

This is awesome and deserves its own update, rather than being hidden away down here. Sorry about that, person what done it.

This is probably a war reference we don’t get, as all we really know about WWII is that the Japanese did very bad things, which is why Granddad never drives Hondas or buys Sony products to this very day.

A PS3 “not sold out in the slightest” sign from Russia! Even out there no one cares for the evil capitalist machine. Interesting to note that in Russia PS3 costs 2-1.990p. Right. That’s your lot. We have cleaned up our desktop quite significantly.

“Here are more pictures of things that say SEGA. Near my place in southern Tokyo there are two arcades both called SEGA HI-TECH LAND.”

“This is the entrance to one. You can taste the future. And you know it will be great because it says SEGA!”

“There was one person on the arcade portion, which means it was more active than American arcades. Everyone else was by the UFO Catchers and Pachinko machines on the other side. The clerk didn’t mind when I got pictures of the empty VF5 machines.”

“This mat states that the 23rd of every month is SEGA day. That makes Japan automatically better than every other country on Earth.”

“The back entrance to the other arcade. I don’t know what else to say.”

“This is the front entrance.”

“Look at all those empty machines! That just means there’s no waiting to have fun at SEGA Hi-Tech Land.”

“The best part is at the arcade they have free wetnaps that remind you about SEGA day! See two SEGA Arcades within walking distance of each other. They are still open which means someone out there still cares about fun.”

This should be our new logo.

Also, our congratulations go out to the creator for not mentioning the Nuremberg Trials or dead farm animals and therefore producing something we can use without getting letters from solicitors about ceasing and then desisting.

We didn’t take these photos.

There is a story behind them, a story NOT involving us.

A man who works at a game shop got the toys, opened one, took some photos and sent them in. His initial email pointed out that he thought the toy looked like Emily Booth, which was the ‘angle’ he suggested we use.

We didn’t say it was a funny story.

Then he took some with the flash on.

We’re not sure if he did that as a joke or seriously to give us a better look.

It was a good idea though.

The end (of society).

Sony’s plans for a ten-year reich – obliterated!

This is one someone else just made. Hopefully this won’t turn into some sort of celebratory Photoshop competition. That would be very sad indeed, were it to happen. Especially if this archive of wartime imagery and this archive of Sony executive staff photos were used to portray Sony as broken and defeated Nazis facing certain execution.

We’d rather take a course of gay drugs and put Master Chief’s balls in our mouths than spend a second in the company of any of these controller-kissing cliches.