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Well, sort of.

It’s actually the Blaze “10-games-in-one” Megadrive system. But it’s new! I bought it from a real shop! Yesterday! Just like when Sega used to have consoles stocked in shops!

So… is it any good?

There's a Sad Onion on the back of the box too...

The box looks authentic, like a real Sega product. This is EXCITING!

The Megadrive logo is wonky. The kind of attention to detail that put Sega where they are now...

The console itself is very, very light. The controllers are tacky and the d-pads are sharp enough to cause serious injury if carelessly hurled during a heated gaming session. You can however plug in regular Megadrive controllers. There is also a cartridge slot for your Megadrive games. The whole thing runs through 2 composite leads, one for video and one for audio.

Oh dear :(

…and this is the game selection screen. Fatal Labyrinth appears to have been elided into one word. The colour’s a bit washed out, but it IS on a 42″ TV.

ESWAT vs the dreaded flash!

And this is an actual game running from the console. Verdict? The colours are a bit washed out, and the sound is tinny but it’s less of an arse than trying to get your old Megadrive running on an LCD TV with a decent picture. It’s a bit finicky about some Megadrive games, but it’s played most of the ones I’ve tried. Overall? It’s a cheap bit of fun, and if your old console is totally knackered you could do worse than give it a punt.

7/10, or if you want it in stars *** out of *****

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Facebook  have been guilty of many things – breaching people’s privacy, messing up people’s lives and jobs and all those infuriating ‘repost this status if you agree’ comments. But now they’ve gone too far. This is war:

There is no funny alt-text that will make this alright... :(

You are looking at ‘Crazy Taxi,’ the Facebook game. When I asked someone who played it if it was anything like Sega’s Crazy Taxi, he replied “Sadly no. It’s like a Chase HQ / Out Run combo with jumping. Minus all the fun.”

You can watch it in motion here if you want. I don’t recommend it, it’s just too awful. :(

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Yes, Sega may well be going to shit these days, but let’s forget all about that for a moment and be comforted in the knowledge that Nintendo is equally powerless to stop ‘enthusiasts’ from making unlicensed toys. I give you – mutant strongman Mario:

And fish-lipped zombie Toad:

And post-op transsexual Princess Peach:

You really would wish your princess was in another castle.

And a nice group shot:

Note Mario about to grope Peach's arse.

Found while actively looking for shitty knock-off Nintendo merchandise to mock.

In other Nintendo news (since they must be the NEW ENEMY now that Sony are on life support with the PS3), Nintendo have decided on a cunning plan to halt the massive slide in hardware sales. They are going to re-release the console in black! Genius – that will sove everything! 

It's going to collect fingerprints too!

Are Nintendo taking inspiration from Sony now?

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One of these games is massively out of date, has subpar graphics and a relentless tunnel-vision focus on one goal…

For best results, look at this picture while listening to Magical Sound Shower.

Do people actually play the GT games for FUN???

…the other is Outrun.

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Here’s an unfortunate juxtaposition of text and images. This was found on a flash advert for Kinect on the front page of Youtube while I was looking for SID chip music.

It's easier to let go...

"...when there's nothing to hold on to." 

Does anyone in the Microsoft marketing department even READ this shit before it gets approved?

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As we already know hateful fuck-knuckles John and Edward are promoting Nintendo’s DSi, in particular some crappy-looking JRPG. I had to taint my computer by going to the Daily Mail website for these:

Jedward posable action figures! With fisting action!

John and Edward, looking like twats.

"We love these iPads! They're brilliant!"

John and Edward, looking like twats. Again.

Oh god I can't go on anymore :(

Picture chosen for its Photoshop potential. Send in your best ones to the usual address.

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Sonic has had a long history of taking one step forward and two steps back. For every Sonic Rush there is a Sonic Unleashed (or even, god forbid, Sonic Unleashed Mobile).

And now, not long after at least making a move in the right direction, the little shit jumps on the Kinect bandwagon with Sonic Free Riders.

Wooo! Radical dood!

Look at him, dressed up like a sloaney twat on a ski slope in the Alps. And since when has Sonic needed a hoverboard? IGN gave it 7.5/10, so it’s obviously crap.

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