You used to have to IMAGINE you were in a boat, or holding a gun, or were the owner of a nice tennis racquet.

Now you buy the plastic. From here, and lots of other places.

We can tell. We’d actually like to play it.

“There’s a comment summing it up nicely – ‘Sonic Team has to have the only fan base that thinks they’re so incompetent, as to make their games for them'” – Omar.

A man who used to be affiliated with SEGA mentioned Dreamcast 2 by name. This confirms its existence, although Mr Naka is obviously rather cagey about the whole subject. And is using it to help SHIFT UNITS of his new thing for the Nintendos.

But still.

From here. Thanks to everyone who sent this is. It gained as much “traction” as the Obama Sonic bag.

As in, one of the seven games we’ve actually played this year. Another three and we’ll be good to write an end-of-year top ten list feature!

It’s about rescuing Kylie Minogue. Play it here. We can’t help wondering (a) how much it cost to make and (b) how many extra copies of the album it will actually sell.

If we were in an office environment and in need of an ironic desktop image, this would do for a few days.

Then it’d be back to a self-curated compilation image of Kylie’s ‘Shoe of the Day’ TwitPics.

Sonic 4 is the one remaining upcoming game we may buy, or at least make a clumsy attempt at obtaining for free, whenever it is scheduled to come out.

If someone could contact us via email to say when it is scheduled to come out, that would be great. Also please send through a reminder when it actually does come out, as we’re likely to have forgotten.

Can we have this printed on a t-shirt, packed lunch box and matching flask, please.

If this was five or ten years ago, we’d be working on an illustration showing the three bum holes accordingly lined up around the back.

CHU CHU ROCKET IS BACK :)

ON iPHONE AND iPAD :(

Face switching from smile to frown at a rate of five times per second.

FACTS:

Just like the original fan favorite from the Dreamcast console, the highly acclaimed cat and mouse puzzler will require players to guide the little ChuChus to their rocket ship before the evil cats get to them first in a variety of different play modes sure to challenge new and veteran players alike.

At launch, ChuChu Rocket will offer over 145 different levels to challenge players as they move mice away from harm and into the safety of a rocket. Utilizing tile arrows to navigate their little ChuChus, players will guide the mice through mazes filled with cats, holes in the ground, and other obstacles.

Game Features:

Wild Puzzles – Help the ChuChus escape the evil KapuKapus in 145 puzzles spread between Normal, Hard, Special, and Mania difficulty levels.

1 to 4 Player Multiplayer Battles – Play free-for-all or in team battle as frantic action ensues across 25 intense multiplayer levels as up to 4 players battle it out via Bluetooth or Wi-Fi.

Tons of Game Modes – Beginner and expert ChuChus alike can enjoy cheese-erific game modes including Puzzle, Challenge, and Multiplayer Battle.

Exclusive iPad Feature – If you thought ChuChu multiplayer was insane before, wait until you try it on the iPad featuring 4player on a single iPad. Push, shove, and flick your way to victory!

You’d think a reader would know better than to supply THREE lengthy paragraphs of text to accompany ONE photograph of a video game box with the ‘Ultimate Big Brother’ eye logo beneath it…

Nope.

THE MAN’S TOO MANY WORDS:

Given your esteemed websites status of being a website that vaguely cares about Sega things I thought I would bring a matter to your attention. I have been watching ‘Ultimate Big Brother’ which is the swansong of Big Brother on Channel 4 and contains all of the best/most desperate housemates from previous series. Aside from killing my few remaining brain cells, the show also leaves me with an urge to play my Dreamcast. Perhaps this is to be considered a reasonable response to such a terrible show but I wanted to investigate further. Mulling over this last night, it hit me. The ‘eye’ used in the promotional materials and graphics on the Big Brother house almost exactly resembles the eye used on the artwork for Condemned 2! I have attached exhibit 1 (of 1) which clearly shows the similarity between the 2 pieces of art. The same giant eye is present, and even bits of scratchy writing which are like the scratchy writing used in the title of the game!

Then I took things further, until I arrived at the indisputable conclusion that the launch of Dreamcast 2 is imminent! Condemned 2 is published by Sega, and the Sega logo is featured prominently under the eye on the box. Also, this is the box of Condemned 2. Why Condemned 2? Because Condemned 2 is a sequel, that’s why. And a Dreamcast sequel would be called Dreamcast 2. Condemned 2 is a gritty ‘horror survival’ game, which seems to point towards a new, grown-up era for Sega, and the ‘horror survival’ is the way Sega ‘survived’ the onslaught of Sony and Microsoft (Nintendo is no longer considered a threat, since it just makes toys for spasticated children and smelly women) . Also, the big eye is a symbol of omnipotence. It is the all-powerful Sega saying ‘I am still here, I haven’t forgotten about you!’ to all the Sega fans.

Let’s take a second look at the picture. The eye is set into a circle. What also fits into circles? Squares etc don’t, unless they’re really small. Other circles fit nicely, and also Spirals. That’s right, SPIRALS. What amazingly brilliant console used a spiral in it’s design? Here’s a clue: it rhymes with creamcast. Not convinced? Let’s look at the demographic for Big Brother these days. Literally dozens of people watch Big Brother. The males that watch Big Brother are downtrodden, Gamma males who are forced to watch it by their wives/girlfriends/carers. These same males were hunting down obscure Japanese Saturn titles a decade or so ago, and are now ripe for a Big Brother – related advertising campaign. Not convinced? Watch the show. The Diary room door, behind which the contestants cry or generally moan about being ‘trapped’ is featured incredibly frequently. In yesterdays’ show alone it was displayed for over 12 minutes! You may be cynical but if I were you I’d start saving for the Japanese release now. You don’t want to be late and miss the boat and pay a fraction of the price for the PAL release!

Does 3 paragraphs of poorly-written tosh warrant a link to my website? If not, please let me know because I can reel off additional paragraphs of rubbish ’til the cows come home.

Thanks, Hrrumph (bitteryoungishman.blogspot.com)

Sonic Adventure’s out for those new machines lots of people bought, this September. Relive the moment at which Sonic turned to shit, with glitchy loops, incomprehensible hub levels, an army of pointless peripheral characters, awful “rails” levels, painful perspective switches and much, much more.

The mistakes made here were so large and all-encompassing, we’re still seeing them being made today. Read about it here.