We’ve almost certainly done this before, but we think it’s safe to assume that most people who would’ve seen it have either died or moved on, so here it is again.

“I think you’ll agree that this photo – taken in an arcade in Bournemouth – is proof that Sonic will put his name on any old rubbish these days. The arcade on the pier opposite also had a Sonic air-hockey table. I couldn’t take a photo though because some kids were playing on it and I didn’t want to be branded a pedo” – Matt.

The 1990s were the best, weren’t they? What has the 2000s given us so far? Simon Cowell and war games, plus an aching shoulder that won’t go away. Thanks.

From reader “Al”. We remember buying a copy of ZZap! 64 in 1992, but this amazing CLASH of THINGS WE LIKE must’ve taken place way later than that. This has to be 1996. A Commodore fanzine was still going in 1996. That’s like UKR still going in 2011.

And this was sent in from reader “BKK” to help “celebrate” the 19th anniversary of the release of Sonic The Hedgehog – “Published in the weekly all formats magazine Games-X, and compiled by Chart-Track forerunner, Gallup. I believe this was the highest position a single format console game had charted in the UK up to that point”. It’s a fairly meaningless anniversary, simply the sort of thing the new-wave of SEGA blogs pretend is an important event so they’ve got something WACKY to write about today. We think.

ALSO WHILE WE ARE AT IT:
A new entry at #4 was no disgrace in 1991, as that was back when charts were allowed to move slowly and not everything was a failure if it didn’t fly in at #1. This country, etc etc.

SEGA has won an award! But only for doing its JOB. And for doing its job 17 years ago. Still, it’s something to put on the wall where all those Sonic posters used to be.

Can we have a certificate? Something like “Bravely not giving up in the face of overwhelming disinterest” would do.

She’s wisely covering her name badge.

Breaking local news from 1996, courtesy of a reader who (a) must’ve been having a bit of a clearout probably after a messy divorce brought on by his incessant gaming habits, and (b) still has access to a scanner. It’s not the top one. Even in 1996, mundane pieces about secondhand goods were deemed more interesting than SEGA news.

Well done, Janet Lowry, for producing an entirely SEGA-related games column. You’d think the SEGA Saturn was winning if you only got your gaming news from the Irvine Herald in 1996.

“Some time ago I sent you an image of my curtains. I saw that you thoroughly enjoyed them. So now I bring you an article from my local newspaper, almost entirely SEGA related. It dates from 1996, damn that’s nostalgic! And it makes me feel old. It was supposed to be a weekly thing, but as you can see its importance was less than that of an article headlined ‘Thrift Shop Seeks Goods’, it soon disappeared. How did I obtain this magnificent piece of history I hear you ask, through work of course, a ‘Time Traveling Adventurer’ to be exact. Lots of Love” – SolidGoldChimp.

Regional Welsh Assembly reporter on Newsnight? Special correspondent on Israeli affairs for Channel 4 News? Or bouncing around in rubber underwear for the benefit of men on the internet?

Yes, she’s the new special correspondent on Israeli affairs for Channel 4 News. Apparently Jon Snow hired her personally after seeing her showreel.

Videos submitted by a man whose email address doesn’t really look much like a name, so we’ll just call him “Rainski”. More Emily rubber videos on the internet here.

ABOUT EMILY BOOTH:
She co-presented a games show on the TV in about 1996 and 1997. We thought you might need to know that if you’re only 20 years old. We keep forgetting there are people in the world who are only 20 years old.

Do not understand what this is. The description doesn’t help much. Submitted by pro-level thing-submitter “GigerPunk” who is now a mere six item submissions away from being upgraded to Silver Reader status.

“This PROMOTIONAL FILE SET, was made available to Dealers and Fans at SPECIAL DREAMCAST EVENTS. SEGA also decided to sell these for a very short time. They are no longer available and the production run was low. Most of these were used by Sega Employees and treasured by Fans due to the popularity of Mr. Hidekazu Yukawa, Sega’s Managing Director who appeared in a series of Sega Dreamcast TV Commercials in Japan. One particular TV spot showed Mr. Yukawa bowing and apologizing for being sold out of the Dreamcast in its first few weeks of release, and for not having any inventory. The one Scene that is captured on one of the Files shows Mr. Yukawa in front of the Dreamcast Logo slightly bowing to apologize to a Mob of Customers. YOU CAN VIEW THE ACTUAL TV COMMERCIAL BY CLICKING HERE.: The other File is the OFFICIAL DREAMCAST “ORANGE’ with WHITE SWIRL LOGO” and BLACK DREAMCAST TYPEFACE” – Crazy eBay man.

Here’s a nice thing about Manx TT Superbike from 1996, when SEGA was merrily burning through the nest-egg it built up during the previous years by paying to put its logo in places and on clothes.

“I was sorting through a few things at the weekend and found these two pics that I thought I would send you. They are from when we sponsored a bike team that we entered into the Isle of Man TT races to promote Manx TT on Saturn in 1996. The Riders were called Jim Moodie & Shaun Harris. They not only raced on the IOM, they also raced at Brands Hatch in the Production TT series that Jim won.”

“The design of the bikes & leathers were done in house by the two guys responsible for most of the cool stuff produced by SEGA in the Saturn era – Steve Cross & Mark Hartley. Didn’t overly do much for the sales of Manx TT though but it was good fun going to the races. The best bit about Manx TT was the Sheep cheat…”

“…which was born on my stag weekend in the IOM when I met Tetsuya Mizuguchi and the team who were putting the original Arcade game together, we got them pissed in a bar and convinced them to put in the level, it was ported over to the Saturn but didn’t help much with sales” – Andy.

UNSORTED.

It came as a 688k PNG with 300 words and a threat. From “Jon” again.

THE BACKSTORY:

“Someone in the comments suggested that a reader – with too much free time, a vague interest and a basic understanding of ‘copy’ and ‘paste’ – should consider doing something like this at some point.

//Artistic thought process//

“A moment of inspiration struck me on Thursday, and I sought out that choice image of Mr. Kutaragi (courtesy of UK:R’s bandwidth). I decided against the customary ‘Save Image As’ menu command, opting instead to swiftly drag the image to my desktop (a feature that makes Macs so very lovely for doing unproductive crap like this).

“For comic effect, I enlarged the photo. Next, I cut around the heads using the tool that looks like a knotted umbilical cord, and spent at least 15 minutes trying to line up the estranged body parts. The results were very satisfying.

“Several other ideas were then tossed around on MSN, such as the inclusion of a prototype PlayStation 3 on the bench, party hats, and one of those animal cages found at the end of an act in Sonic the Hedgehog. Unfortunately, these additions seemingly detracted from my original, horrific vision.

“I fully encourage… no, scrap that… I fully expect, demand and require the UK:R community to step up, churn out and e-mail in a collection of uninspiring spin-offs, so as to extend my fifteen minutes of fame and further contribute to the downfall of modern society.

– Jon

“P.S. If you use this photo on a t-shirt, please can I have one? Actually, make that two… I’ll give one to a friend, as he is likely losing his job, and will soon be spending every waking moment in a grotty gym called Zeus, drinking cartons of Ribena alongside women who actually look more manly than him.

“P.P.S. Please don’t tinker with my paragraph formatting again.”

We’ve checked with someone still in their 20s, and have been told that a “boombox” is a bit like a radio only mainly used for the playing of urban music in which the protagonists aggressively shout about buying a car that’s more expensive than their rival’s car over a repetitive loop of sound.

We hope that clears it all up for you.

It works, has a screen and controller ports, and would therefore let you play Dreamcast games anywhere there’s a plug socket. A bit like a… Dreamcast. Loads more photos of the Dreamcast-in-a-radio modification can be found here and there’s a literally appalling video of it in action here, if you’re as bored as we are of today already.

It’s fair to say the printed word loses virtually all of its magic when reduced down to five CD-ROMs with felt-tip pen descriptions.

Auction here, if you know someone who knows someone who inherited the rights to the ZZAP! brand name and back catalogue and think a complaint might be in order.