Someone went to a lot of effort to take these photos, even though the effort was ultimately misplaced and wasted thanks to a tragic case of mis-remembering.

“I saw your update about the “GamesMaster” store in Elephant and Castle, and rushed out to photograph another store I thought there was in Wandsworth. Imagine my disappointment when I got there to find it was called “Gamesland” and it had already closed down. If you look you can see Iceland reflected in the window of a shop that specialises in “PS” and “Gameboy” and has the old logo for the N64.”

“On the plus side, the photos I took are educational/entertaining. First up they have shoes/boots cheaper than Peckham…”

“And its a vibrant place. I’d lke to remain anonymous too please, in case any Wandsworth hard people get upset. Cheers – K****.”

Found by our curious reader/mascot “Andy The Squirrel” – it’s a two-piece heart-shaped pendant that will keep the two lovers close, even when they are far away (ie, even when Tails has got stuck on some scenery, scrolled off the screen and died).

Located on that funny Japanese Sonic Team blog thing that often houses amazing SEGA material.

But we’re using these photos, as the heart of the taker was in the right place – his underpants.

They were taken at a presentation of SEGA Superstars Tennis in Milan, where a woman was made to dress like Ulala. We hope giving out this information won’t compromise the identity/employment of our source.

We have lots of SEGA Superstars Tennis coverage planned. There will be the customary annual interview with Sumo Digital, at least 100 screenshots of the game, plus we may make a compilation video of the loading screens to put on YouTube – and could even go as far as changing the “masthead.”

In the mean time, here’s a mysterious blue patch up an Ulala-impersonator’s dress, as captured by the poorest digital camera currently in use in the world today.

UPDATE:
Reader “Chris” managed to enhance the blue area in question using advanced image manipulation techniques similar to those used by the FBI and Heat magazine:

Amy will NOT be happy.

“PROJECT GAMERZ” (their capital letters and ‘Z’, we are not that urban) is designed to stop everyone in South London knifing each other in “turf wars” over who gets to stand outside the best off licenses, by getting children to play FIFA in a youth club.

Or that may be Pro Evo. It’s kind of hard to tell when you hate and avoid all modern games.

After three days all the controllers will have gone missing. Then the game discs. Then the consoles. Then the arson attacks will begin when someone’s arrested for attempting to nick a TV. There’s only one answer to today’s youth problems – labour camps or a war.

PROJECT GAMERZ

Southwark in South London is the location of a test phase for a scheme organised by The Metropolitan Police’s Riverside Safer Neighbourhoods team. PROJECT GAMERZ invites anyone aged between 11 and 18, who live, or attend school, in the Riverside Ward of Rotherhithe, to get involved with their local community through Video Games and eSports. Video Gaming is the fastest growing form of media entertainment in the world, and eSports – electronic sports – is computer and videogames played as a competitive sport.

Riverside Safer Neighbourhoods team feel the scheme is a perfect forum to launch a fresh and innovative social network between young people, neighbourhoods and community centres. Sergeant Rob Evans of the Riverside team said: “The aim of the project is to enable young people to re-connect with their local community in a way that reflects their interests. By creating this social network we hope to encourage responsible participation across the age group, where we can also engage with local youngsters on policing and community issues that can affect them”.

The Metropolitan Police have enlisted the help of XLEAGUE.TV, the only broadcast outlet for eSports in the UK, who offer the opportunity to participate or view major sporting events in the virtual world – online and on TV [PULSE, Sky Channel 208]. XLEAGUE.TV have brought together major brands such as Microsoft, EA Sports, Packard Bell to provide games, consoles, equipment and TNWA Group for the technical delivery and event management for the first phase of the scheme.

[The press release then degenerates into an advert for XLEAGUE, so we’ll save you that]

As well as all those rubbish photos of SEGA memorabilia, we have also assembled the following news items for other parts of the internet. Including:

This thing which is, on the surface, about boring cross-promotional media deals. But is actually just an excuse to link to an amazing YouTube clip of an Airbus A310 nearly crashing at an air show.

This thing in which we casually, and some might say effortlessly, slip the old agenda onto a Nintendo blog. Just for fun.

This thing about people that needs to done gone gets themselves a-killed. Or at least segregated off from everyone else and chemically castrated.

This thing about a collapse in the meat-based dog industry.

This thing about something to do with the Eee PC that happened somewhere foreign, because you can’t not use pictures like this when they come along:

Not exactly inspirational, but at least not so bad we’ll try to delete it all without anyone noticing in a few weeks. 5/5.

A PlayStation3. With a DEMO. And the SIXAXIS controller that’s about to be made obsolete. And still no HDMI cable so you CAN’T ACTUALLY WATCH Blu-ray films at HD resolution, rendering the entire HD argument obsolete.

But people keep buying it, so Sony keeps shovelling it. Anyone who buys this is heaping shame upon the nation.

In the greasy hands of a small number of idiots for the usual Sony price of £TOOFUCKINGMUCH at the end of March.

Two separate updates from readers who went on holiday to Disney World, rather than our more common reader break of three weeks sex-tourism in Sri Lanka and Thailand. One photo shows an abandoned PS3, the other highlights Disney’s immortalisation of Dreamcast in its “1990s” display.

Shame Disney is currently on its knees in front of Sony’s Blu-ray division, but still. Some distant future children will know that Dreamcast existed.

“While on a recent trip to Disney World some of the EPCOT staff were recommending ‘checking out the awesome PS3 console’ they had at Innoventions. I later discovered the said PS3 being ignored, despite the fact they decided to make it more appealing by calling it a Wii. I returned later in the week to find it being played, and watched in pity as a boy struggled to get to grips with Need For Speed. He then offered me the controller to which I laughed a hollow laugh and explained to him the many wrong paths Sony have taken over the years. I didn’t really of course, I just said ‘No thanks’ and walked off – JP Shooter.”

“Came across something that warmed my heart when I was exploring the Pop Century Resort at Walt Disney World. Just to quench your curiosity, I practically live there. That’s why everything SEGA/Sonic related I find comes from Disney. Anyways, Pop Century, as the name kinda implies, is a resort themed to decades. Events that were going on or items that were popular during a particular decade are used to decorate the wings of the hotel and the exterior of it (EX-Giant Yo-yos for the 50s, popular slang made into signs and stuck on the railings). In the main hall, or check-in area, there are display cases hanging on the wall that hold particular items of interest from the decades represented at the hotel (In this case it’s the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80, and 90s). And what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a beautiful, brand-new SEGA Dreamcast in the 90s display that certainly brought a tear. It was wonderful to see the Dreamcast shown as part of the 90s display, even if its total time in the 90s was only 3-4 months. Here’s a pic to warm you and everyone else. Other items in the display include Pokemon cards, a Gameboy, and… Pocahontas.

“So enjoy and relish, it certainly brought a tear to my eye, and attention to my being. Just because a loves a video game system and company so much, he’s escorted by security off property. What a world – supersonic70645.”

Again. People. Please. Be brief with your sighting reports. Three short sentences is all anything ever really needs. You’re just making it harder on yourselves. Well done on providing an alternate photo without flash, though.

Videos explaining SEGA to children! Voiced by Andy Crane! Detailing SEGA marketing during the Mega Drive era! Explaining it simply so we can understand! With celebrities like Damon Hill! A mention of the 32X! Loads of brilliant old SEGA adverts! Even an advert that says “To be this virtuous takes Virtua Racing” AND a Virtua Racing 32X bus!!

Sorry about all those exclamation marks, but this discovery is very nearly worth it:

FROM THE FINDER’S MOUTH:
“Found two links on YouTube showing how SEGA sold the various items relating to its brand back when they knew how to do it. The voice-over seems to be done by Andy Crane and on part two there’s a clip of Right Said Fred singing their number 55 hit ‘Wonderman’ which isn’t exactly the best example of cross-promotion branding (though it would be considered brilliant by their inept marketing department a few years later). Shame they lost this tape when the Dreamcast came out – Peter Bibbings.”

It doesn’t really matter if it’s late for Valentine’s Day 2008 or early for Valentine’s Day 2009 – the chances of any of us actually being able to use a Shenmue-themed Valentine card are amazingly remote. Another case of SEGA getting it badly wrong during the Dreamcast period.

But here it is anyway, as the only other thing we’ve got to do an update about today is a photo of a woman on a train that a man said looked like a “fat black Ulala” and photos of Ben’s SEGA jacket.

Save it to your desktop. You never know.

Over the years, we’ve heard talk of “Sega music”. It’s a local thing in Mauritius. We may have mentioned it before, but probably haven’t, as most of the messages we’ve got about it have been barely legible emails saying things like “I saw a sign saying ‘Sega music’ while on holiday in Mauritius but didn’t have my camera, sorry.”

That’s all about to change, with this – the definitive update about the “Sega Sound” of Mauritius! This could be the globally significant update that finally stops Wikipedia from deleting every reference to UKR!

FROM THIS PERSON: “Unbelievable! The Sound of Sega is Mauritian. The Mauritian forefathers even had the insight to kill Tails and display his skeleton on the cover of their hallowed tunes.”

“This little island plays host to Arthur Murray’s dancing studios, where the lucky few learn to move to the right, left, and even in circles.”

“These shots were taken mid-Sega Shuffle, and they are as un-blurry as can be expected in the circumstances.”

“This grainy recording was obtained through stealth and subterfuge. Blood was spilt, many agents died and others were compromised, but an archive of the Soul Sega song was made. Guard it well. Onward to freedom!”

“Take this information and spread it worldwide, brothers of the resistance. To blue skies! – BULLET HELL DOT COM.”

Sadly we can’t actually take this information to “the masses,” but we can broadcast it to literally dozens of depressed men who haven’t got around to deleting their UKR bookmark yet.

If we put that on an orange t-shirt, would you all buy it?

Let’s all do the Sega! Come on, it’ll be great. Let’s all do the Sega today at 9.00pm. Then we can go back to looking at pornography until sleep takes away the pain.

It’s only a little bit camp.