Sony has clearly manufactured a PS3 for every man, woman and child in Europe. Either that or NO ONE WANTS THE THING and its cumbersome 3D avatar system from 1998.

SAYS OUR SPY: “Just thought you’d like to know that pre-orders for the currently out of stock Wii at Amazon France (with an estimated delivery date of between 1 to 2 months) are currently higher than those of launch day PS3s. At the time of writing Wii is at 2 in the Amazon gaming chart with PS3 at 8.”

A united Europe WILL NEVER FALL.

This is the only one of these you’re ever likely to see.

The city’s desperate branch of Gamestation has resorted to papering most of its front windows in crude, lurid coloured propaganda leaflets, in an attempt to attract idiots into its evil clutches – like sportswear-clad moths to the world’s most expensive flame.

This plan will fail – and it’s cost them a lot of money in paper and printer toner. The search is now on to find a shop that has actually sold its entire pre-order allocation. The search will, of course, be FUTILE, thanks to the IRON WILLED people of Europe.

And the CAPITALIST SCUM have called VF5 “Virtual Fighter 5”. Will people NEVER LEARN? It’s insult after insult to our proud national heritage. Never before has there been a better time to throw a bin through a shop window.

Whether this is an evil wartime lie designed to trick people or simple stupidity on its part, the end result will be the same – no pre-orders. Well done on matching Sony’s ineptitude, though.

“Here is a picture of the hopelessly optimistic sign outside the Virgin Megastore on High Street Kensington. It was taken last Friday when I walked past on my way to Uni. It was up over a week before when I became the last person on earth to buy Animal Crossing: Wild World. It was up before that, when I got a copy of the DS Lite browser. I’m just listing this so you can have an idea of how much money I’ve spent NOT pre-ordering the PS3”.

“When I went to pay, the guy asked me ‘Had you considered pre-ordering a PS3?’. I replied, ‘Only as some sort of nightmarish fantasy’. Let’s face it, if you really want to beat up hookers with a baseball bat, Soho is only a 20 minute bus-ride away. The sign went up the day the PS3 was available for pre-order. I’m guessing that the main reason they haven’t take it down yet is to save the trouble of having to put it back up the day before the PS3 is released”.

We got about 70 emails, and that’s not including all the idiots who forgot to attach the file first time and then had to send it again with a slightly embarrassed apology.

We’re hoping the winner might like our entire rubbish t-shirt range as a prize. That’s over 45 pounds worth of old, slightly musty, unwanted stock! If you made this one, email us to claim your prize.

This one was nearly the winner. It’s our personal favourite, but sadly there’s an apostrophe missing. We’re not rewarding someone for bad grammar. This is a harsh lesson.

This one should’ve been the winner too, but A-Team jokes are a bit ‘2005’ right now.

Obviously we can’t upload all 70, as that would immediately double the size of the internet and create massive logistical problems worldwide. Not to mention that about 40 of them were really rubbish.

SPECIAL COMMENDATION for putting in effort.

These are the runners up or runner ups, however you’re meant to say that.

You lot don’t win anything apart from a half nod of respect for at least trying. Thanks, everyone. We probably won’t ever do anything like this again, as Hotmail’s very rubbish when you get more than one email in a day.