A PlayStation3. With a DEMO. And the SIXAXIS controller that’s about to be made obsolete. And still no HDMI cable so you CAN’T ACTUALLY WATCH Blu-ray films at HD resolution, rendering the entire HD argument obsolete.

But people keep buying it, so Sony keeps shovelling it. Anyone who buys this is heaping shame upon the nation.

In the greasy hands of a small number of idiots for the usual Sony price of £TOOFUCKINGMUCH at the end of March.

Two separate updates from readers who went on holiday to Disney World, rather than our more common reader break of three weeks sex-tourism in Sri Lanka and Thailand. One photo shows an abandoned PS3, the other highlights Disney’s immortalisation of Dreamcast in its “1990s” display.

Shame Disney is currently on its knees in front of Sony’s Blu-ray division, but still. Some distant future children will know that Dreamcast existed.

“While on a recent trip to Disney World some of the EPCOT staff were recommending ‘checking out the awesome PS3 console’ they had at Innoventions. I later discovered the said PS3 being ignored, despite the fact they decided to make it more appealing by calling it a Wii. I returned later in the week to find it being played, and watched in pity as a boy struggled to get to grips with Need For Speed. He then offered me the controller to which I laughed a hollow laugh and explained to him the many wrong paths Sony have taken over the years. I didn’t really of course, I just said ‘No thanks’ and walked off – JP Shooter.”

“Came across something that warmed my heart when I was exploring the Pop Century Resort at Walt Disney World. Just to quench your curiosity, I practically live there. That’s why everything SEGA/Sonic related I find comes from Disney. Anyways, Pop Century, as the name kinda implies, is a resort themed to decades. Events that were going on or items that were popular during a particular decade are used to decorate the wings of the hotel and the exterior of it (EX-Giant Yo-yos for the 50s, popular slang made into signs and stuck on the railings). In the main hall, or check-in area, there are display cases hanging on the wall that hold particular items of interest from the decades represented at the hotel (In this case it’s the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80, and 90s). And what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a beautiful, brand-new SEGA Dreamcast in the 90s display that certainly brought a tear. It was wonderful to see the Dreamcast shown as part of the 90s display, even if its total time in the 90s was only 3-4 months. Here’s a pic to warm you and everyone else. Other items in the display include Pokemon cards, a Gameboy, and… Pocahontas.

“So enjoy and relish, it certainly brought a tear to my eye, and attention to my being. Just because a loves a video game system and company so much, he’s escorted by security off property. What a world – supersonic70645.”

Again. People. Please. Be brief with your sighting reports. Three short sentences is all anything ever really needs. You’re just making it harder on yourselves. Well done on providing an alternate photo without flash, though.

Videos explaining SEGA to children! Voiced by Andy Crane! Detailing SEGA marketing during the Mega Drive era! Explaining it simply so we can understand! With celebrities like Damon Hill! A mention of the 32X! Loads of brilliant old SEGA adverts! Even an advert that says “To be this virtuous takes Virtua Racing” AND a Virtua Racing 32X bus!!

Sorry about all those exclamation marks, but this discovery is very nearly worth it:

FROM THE FINDER’S MOUTH:
“Found two links on YouTube showing how SEGA sold the various items relating to its brand back when they knew how to do it. The voice-over seems to be done by Andy Crane and on part two there’s a clip of Right Said Fred singing their number 55 hit ‘Wonderman’ which isn’t exactly the best example of cross-promotion branding (though it would be considered brilliant by their inept marketing department a few years later). Shame they lost this tape when the Dreamcast came out – Peter Bibbings.”

It doesn’t really matter if it’s late for Valentine’s Day 2008 or early for Valentine’s Day 2009 – the chances of any of us actually being able to use a Shenmue-themed Valentine card are amazingly remote. Another case of SEGA getting it badly wrong during the Dreamcast period.

But here it is anyway, as the only other thing we’ve got to do an update about today is a photo of a woman on a train that a man said looked like a “fat black Ulala” and photos of Ben’s SEGA jacket.

Save it to your desktop. You never know.

Global Sony games boss quits, no doubt due to lack of games on disaster machine and the general nonsense he peddled to cover his arse.

Cyanide capsule in his office, or was Goebbels booted out due to PS3’s embarrassing lack of first-party software? Who cares?! The regime is crumbling! Hirai! You’re next!

SCE Worldwide Studios President Phil Harrison Resigns

SCE Group CEO Kazuo Hirai Assumes Responsibilities

Tokyo, February 25, 2008 – Sony Computer Entertainment Inc. (SCEI) today announced that Phil Harrison, President of Sony Computer Entertainment Worldwide Studios (SCE WWS), will resign from Sony Computer Entertainment Group as of February 29, 2008. Kazuo Hirai, President and Group CEO of SCEI, will immediately assume responsibilities as president of SCE WWS, in addition to his current duties.

Prior to the launch of the original PlayStation, Phil Harrison joined Sony Electronics Publishing, Ltd. in 1992, which later evolved into Sony computer Entertainment Europe, and since then, he has made a tremendous contribution to the company playing a strategic role in the launch of four PlayStation platforms, as well as building strong relationships with game developers and publishers throughout the world. Since his appointment to the position of president, SCE WWS, Harrison applied his considerable skill, knowledge and expertise to lead SCE Group’s first party game development as well as aggressively pursuing the development of new online entertainment experiences.

“As one of the founding members of SCE, Phil played a key role in the development and growth of the PlayStation business and our industry,” said Kazuo Hirai. “It is sad to see him departing from SCE, but I wish to express my gratitude for his many invaluable contributions and also wish Phil the very best of luck in his future endeavors.”

“The past 15 years at Sony Computer Entertainment has been the defining journey of my life so far,” said Phil Harrison. “I am grateful to all the PlayStation family for their incredible support, guidance and friendship. It has been a privilege to serve as part of the team and be inspired by them on a daily basis. I am so proud of everything PlayStation has achieved and will continue to support its future in every way I can.”

Over the years, we’ve heard talk of “Sega music”. It’s a local thing in Mauritius. We may have mentioned it before, but probably haven’t, as most of the messages we’ve got about it have been barely legible emails saying things like “I saw a sign saying ‘Sega music’ while on holiday in Mauritius but didn’t have my camera, sorry.”

That’s all about to change, with this – the definitive update about the “Sega Sound” of Mauritius! This could be the globally significant update that finally stops Wikipedia from deleting every reference to UKR!

FROM THIS PERSON: “Unbelievable! The Sound of Sega is Mauritian. The Mauritian forefathers even had the insight to kill Tails and display his skeleton on the cover of their hallowed tunes.”

“This little island plays host to Arthur Murray’s dancing studios, where the lucky few learn to move to the right, left, and even in circles.”

“These shots were taken mid-Sega Shuffle, and they are as un-blurry as can be expected in the circumstances.”

“This grainy recording was obtained through stealth and subterfuge. Blood was spilt, many agents died and others were compromised, but an archive of the Soul Sega song was made. Guard it well. Onward to freedom!”

“Take this information and spread it worldwide, brothers of the resistance. To blue skies! – BULLET HELL DOT COM.”

Sadly we can’t actually take this information to “the masses,” but we can broadcast it to literally dozens of depressed men who haven’t got around to deleting their UKR bookmark yet.

If we put that on an orange t-shirt, would you all buy it?

Let’s all do the Sega! Come on, it’ll be great. Let’s all do the Sega today at 9.00pm. Then we can go back to looking at pornography until sleep takes away the pain.

It’s only a little bit camp.

Fun for fans of sexually suggestive situations.

And fun for people with female flatmates.

Ninja Gaiden 2’s coming out in June. Updates will therefore be sporadic during June, and only about Ninja Gaiden 2. See that red mess? That’s what your face will be like if you complain or dare criticise Ninja Gaiden 2.

This is what daily life is like here. Updating UKR with the left hand, updating Idiot Toys with the right, leaving a trail of death and destruction and rotting spinal columns behind.

You know how excited all those retards were about Halo 3? That’s how excited we are about NG2. We can tell you now we’ll be doing a review and taking AT LEAST 100 screenshots. 200 if Rachel’s back in it. 300 if she’s playable. 400 if you can control the camera during its replay mode thing.

It’s every bit as bad as you might imagine. In fact, it’ll stop you being able to imagine anything else for several hours. Although Knuckles is a definite “might,” if only to help thaw relations between London and Moscow.

The Chinese had much higher manufacturing standards in the early-to-mid 1990s, as this quite sensationally detailed SEGA/Sonic/Game Gear Christmas tree decoration shows.

“I got this ages ago and completely forgot I had it. It’s a Sonic/Game Gear Christmas tree decoration off of 1995.”

“If I was witty I’d probably poke fun at the slogan ‘Fun in Hand’ but I’m not so I’ll leave it you and your readers if this gets posted. Cheers, Brynaldo.”

That’s just STUNNING! All the GG text has been replicated! And the colours. And the buttons.

Sadly the battery compartment isn’t real and doesn’t contain ultra-rare fake Chinese SEGA batteries. It’s probably for the best – they would trigger a SEGA/battery manic episode and we’d eventually be found 18 months later sleeping rough on the streets of Cardiff.

It is SO BRILLIANT. Brynaldo, we’re trying extremely hard to stop buying everything that says SEGA on it – but we’ll give you a tenner for it.

You could probably even haggle us up to £15 if you throw in postage and packing. It’s seriously awesome. So much better than last week’s SEGA tat.