Archive for August, 2009:

KNOW YOUR ENEMY – PLAYSTATION3 SLIM

The cunning enemy leopard has changed its spots. It may look different, but it contains the SAME DARK HEART and POISONED SOUL.

ps3-slim

The enemy has gained a small measure of respect thanks to releasing a 4.48MB file at 4800 x 3800 resolution.

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PS3 SETS NEW RECORD LOW IN JAPAN

Sony managed to sell 5,826 PlayStation3s in Japan last week. If you lined all of them up, the line would be long enough to stretch all the way across an average UK kitchen. Or, to put in in a different context, to transport that many PS3s you would need the boot space of three separate Vauxhall Corsas.

JAPANESE HARDWARE SALES, WEEK ENDING AUGUST 9, 2009

DS: 78,765
Wii: 47,140
PSP: 33,893
PS3: 5,826
360: 5,436
PS2: 4,601

Amazing. All those other times people have said PS3 is dead were wrong. Now it actually is. Pronounced at *looks at clock* 12.35pm on August 18 2009.

playstation4-plans-revealed

“Connect 4″ is also rumoured to be the new name for PlayStation Network. Figures taken from GAF, home of MEN.

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EXCLUSIVE NEWS FROM GERMANY

There’s a Sonic painted on a wall somewhere in Munich! He would appear to be directing traffic – sounds like another thrilling Wii game is incoming.

sonic-drawing-munich

Sent in by “Cristoph” who claims to be a “weisswurst lover” who comes from “Nuremberg/Bavaria”. We’re fine with that. UKR is a gated cosmopolitan community, like Babylon 5 but with fewer female officers.

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“THE MOST OBVIOUS JOKE IN THE WORLD”

Sent in by “Kieran”. It may seem obvious to you, Kieran, but it didn’t occur to anyone around here.

pslol

Possible new t-shirt design? Possible new wallpaper for toilet?

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LAUGHING WITH SONY, NOT AT SONY

It’s pretty bad when Sony has to sneak BRAVIA adverts into its copyright documentation, for the benefit of people in the copyright approval office who might be thinking about buying a new TV.

sony-points-laughs

Image emailed in by Glen of the screen photography update series. Nice to know he’s still out there and alive. Some facts about what this rubbish new thing of Sony’s is are available here, once you’ve cleared the tears of laughter from your own eyes.

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“IT’S-A-ME, THE LOVECHILD BORNE OF A PAINFUL SEX CRIME”

Mickey Mouse is rubbish. Mario is rubbish. You can see where the creator of this is coming from.

HIS INSPIRATION: Things that are shit.

mickio

“Dear UKR, I found this on the Internet. It’s rather strange and is in the sale section of the website so clearly no one’s buying it, which isn’t surprising. I’ve included one of the pictures and the blurb about the vinyl figure in case you’re too busy (lazy) to click on the link” – Charlie Tollemache.

mickio-ass

We’re trying very, very hard to grow up and stop buying ironic merchandise, but this Kubrick Jack from Lost is extremely tempting. If it came with ‘Wet Kate’ there’d be one on its way right now.

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YET ANOTHER SEGA VISION SIGHTING

We’ve had loads of these. We’ve ignored at least five emails regarding the SEGA Vision in the wild (sorry (not really!)) but shall use this one, as SEGA has bizarrely decided to declare the SEGA Vision is “New for 2009″ even though it isn’t.

The box is more colourful than before. Perhaps that’s what it means? A new box for 2009?

sega-vision-for-2008

This was sent in by “GigerPunk” who was given the photograph by “a friend”. His accompanying email was about 5,000 words, so all we’ll take from are his informative links to the motorway service station in which the image was captured.

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IMAGINE PUBLISHING IN “PORN OUTRAGE”

Bonkers consumer goes mental over sex chat numbers in the back of UK games magazines, including quotes such as…

“So over all its been a interesting day finding out that such a major publisher (Imagine Publishing) has no morals when it comes to making money, even if it means serving up pornographic content to children that may read their magazines.”

imagine-publishing-por-exposee

We’d suggest ‘360’ isn’t really aimed at people who wear shoes like that. At least not outside the house.

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FIG. 1A – TIME TO GET A NEW HOBBY

Any new hobby will do. Preferably one that involves being outside even if it’s raining and wearing sturdy shoes so your toes don’t get broken by the specialist equipment.

Video games ARE ALL OVER NOW.

nintendo-horse

Nintendo’s image of what it thinks you look like, just so you know it’s not pretending Wii is for adults. Stolen off Eurogamer.

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*EROTIC CONTENT WARNING* SONIC UNDERPANTS!!

Official Sonic The Hedgehog underpants! If no one else ever sees your pants, these are the pants for you.

asos-sonic-underpants-1

Nice that they come in adult sizes. Good old ASOS has done its market research on these. Don’t follow their advice to “move mouse over image” though. You probably will anyway out of curiosity, but don’t say we didn’t warn you.

asos-sonic-underpants-2

Submitted by “Joe” who advises zooming in to see the shame on Sonic’s face. And that’s all you want to see, IS IT JOE?

asos-ladies-range

There doesn’t appear to be any Sonic-branded ladies underwear, but then we only got to page six before strangely and suddenly losing interest.

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