Archive for September, 2009:

SONIC TOY. CHAIN STORE. BLURRY MOBILE PHONE CAMERA.

Sorry everyone, but this is one of those weeks (AKA months, AKA years) where we can’t be bothered to do anything other than upload the first photograph of something about/like SEGA in the inbox.

Hopefully at least some of you might enjoy looking at some girls’ shoes.

MAINSTREAM-SONIC

“Fairly ashamed, so will make it brief. Dragged to town. Standing awkwardly in ‘Next’ trying not to engage with the burger-munching-Jeremy-Kyle-set-public when I noticed this familiar little fellow. Yes, the photo is bad but a) It’s a phone. What do you expect ? An HTC something-or-other. And b) You try taking photos in the kids department of a crowded shop. People have been killed for less. And no, I don’t know why the whole scene has a pink ‘n’ fuzzy look to it. Maybe it’s the happy gas they pump into these places?” – Morgan.

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“ACTION BABES FOR iPHONE AND iPOD TOUCH”

Suddenly we are ALL FOR the relentless dumbing down of consumer gaming product.

Discovered here, where they report on the small-scale furore that is kicking off over Apple’s refusal to allow TiTS on iTunes.

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PS3 RIDICULED ON WATCHDOG

Here’s consumer rights MILF Anne Robinson having a right old go at PS3. The report is utter nonsense, but we’re obliged to agree with it seeing as it’s Sony getting called shit on national television.

WARNING: Contains Iain Lee at the 4:30 point.

Feels like we’re fighting dirty by using this horrific weapon.

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SONIC THE HEDGEHOG ART SPOTTED IN SOUTHEND

Down past Sainsbury’s on the left. Another boarded-up computer shop. It’s all bloody Dell’s fault.

sonicinsouthend

“I thought you’d appreciate this piece of amateur Sonic art I spotted just off Southend High Street, down past the Sainsbury’s on the left, walking in the direction of Westcliff. Classic Sonic The Hedgehog pose there only tempered with a shoddy understanding of solid, cartoon construction.”

windows-graffiti

“The shop is closed and has been for a while. I’m not sure how long it’s been empty, but photo 2 gives us a reasonable idea.”

ses-computers

“Photo 3 is the shop itself. That blue sign across the top is gone now. It probably won’t be long until the paintings go either” – David.

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GRAN TURISMO ON PSP IS “PASSABLE 6.8″

Finally! The “killer app” to help PSP cement its place in gaming history as having a slightly better catalogue than Gizmondo. Sony shouldn’t have printed up the case inlays all those years ago, as “Passable 6.8″ would make a GREAT quote for the box.

gran-turismo-psp-review

Well done, Chris Roper. You will have been expected to blindly love it, yet you bravely didn’t. If we had any merchandise left you’d have just won some of it. Sent in by Mr “Shine”.

OTHER QUOTES INCLUDE:

“…it pains me immeasurably to say that this is a greatly disappointing release”

“…I’m having a hard time coming to grips with the fact that this isn’t a great (or even just good) game”

“…the driving mechanics are great, if somewhat dated”

“6.8 Passable”

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TAILS: UNDRESSED

Underneath that fir of his he’s just an ordinary man who eats cheap food for lunch just like everyone else.

tails-undressed

Found by a “Steve” on some sort of Wal-mart stalking resource.

walmart-stalking

Stalking the people of Wal-mart is an extremely specialist hobby.

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“SONIC THE HEDGEHOG FAN FILM TRAILER”

The makers of this ask if the viewers would like it to be made into a full-length film. We’d imagine SEGA’s answer would be “Definitely not”.

Our answer is also a “Not”. But thanks anyway.

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CAN WE HAVE A LOWER-RESOLUTION VERSION OF THIS, PLEASE?

About the size of a postage stamp would be more acceptable.

dragoncon

Taken at something no one needs to know about.

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ONE GOOD THING ABOUT THIS STUPID NEW FITNESS GAME CRAZE

When we’re caught with a high-resolution photograph of a woman in athletic clothing on the computer, we can honestly get away with saying it’s for work.

julie_seymour-wii-game

That’s Julie Seymour. We’re not suggesting she’s remarkable enough to try and track down via various social networking sites, but knowing their names does make it all seem a bit more realistic. Julie’s game is called “NewU Fitness First Personal Trainer”. We wish we “knew her” in the biblical sense.

nellmcandrew_sbodyfitness_2 nellmcandrew_sbodyfitness_1

“Nell McAndrew’s Body Fitness” is several magnitudes more disappointing. And it depends what you classify as exercise, Nell.

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SEGA SATURN IMMORTALISED/MOCKED ON SHOOTING STARS

Back-on-the-telly-again comedy quiz show Shooting Stars disrespected the SEGA Saturn in a recent episode by associating it with Nintendo’s Wii, for the purposes of making a JOKE about gaming. Or rather, they made THE joke about video gaming. The one about Wii being a bit like wee.

Very poor, Vic. Very poor.

wii-toilet

“While watching Shooting Stars the other night I noticed that during the admittedly unfunny ‘Wii Toilet’ sketch, the mock-up for the console used a picture of a first model Sega Saturn artificially turned white (it was not a true white ‘Flash Saturn’). The control pad ports, Sega logo, start, reset and eject buttons appear to have been the victim of a Photoshopping too.

shooting-stars-wee-saturn

“They also edited the Wii remotes but I don’t care about that. Please God let me be the first to have submitted this. Please God” – Police Constable London.

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