We say funny… it was more like ever-so-slightly interesting to a very small group of people for as long as it takes said people involved to scroll down, sigh, then click on something else while they EMOTIONLESSLY eat their PATHETIC SANDWICHES today.

“The other day I was driving down the motorway when I passed a lorry that seemed to have SEGA written on it, only in a strange and new font. I thought it might be some strange and new SEGA division, perhaps shipping some strange and new console somewhere – or some such bullshit.”

“Anyway, I then thought of UKR, naturally, and how ‘events’ such as these appeal. Grabbing my bewildering HTC portable telephone system I scrolled to camera mode. However, I had at this point overtaken the lorry, so had to pull in front of it, slow down, let it overtake me, then overtake it again while wildly taking shots at about 80mph. I suspect that I may have committed a serious driving offence whilst performing this stunt but rest assured I feel no more shameful, dirty and wicked than I do anyway” – Max.

Didn’t get any blurry mobile phone photos from any of you lot. Thanks. We know where we stand now.

Thankfully, a proper man was there with a proper camera.

He was able to go quite close to her, so must’ve looked safe and trustworthy.

He even took several photographs where she clearly consented to being photographed.

Her outfit is, to be frank, a disappointment. There’s a knee, but it’s well covered. That’s of no use.

As are the faces of the civilians.

Would, until her teeth fell out.

We were all that comfortable in the presence of women once.

The publicity man said there were more photographs, but we’re a bit embarrassed about asking for them. He’s bound to guess the ulterior motive.

Sorry. Still no “Blue Sky in Games” t-shirts as the moment’s kind of passed and it’d just be embarrassing bringing them “to market” after all this time.

Instead… BUSINESSMEN. Sorry. Again.

These aren’t really meant for you. But we do need to sell 40 of them to break even, so they’re getting spammed across the whole [makes hands into fists] “network”. We got 100 made. It was a big infrastructure investment.

If they don’t sell from this, we’ll set up a stall selling them at the next farmer’s market (LOCAL JOKE).

They’re £8.99 each plus a bit extra for the envelope and stamp. You know how that works. That’s less than you spend on childrens’ toys in a week.

We have put on date jokes. The first few months are good, then it kind of tales off as you have hopefully come to expect.

They’re being sold through PayPal, so scroll down if you want one or, preferably, all 100 so we can sleep easily tonight without checking for email sales confirmations through the night.

These are PROPER NOT JOKE items, printed on A4 glossy photo paper by these people. Their testimonials page will convince you of the quality.

WHY BUY THESE?

– They have been made and it would be a shame to see them binned in 18 months.

– As an ironic gift for your ironic tosser friend who wears ironic t-shirts that, ironically, aren’t really even that ironic.

– As a gay thing.

– To waste everyone’s time.

– It’ll be nice getting something in the post.

BUY ONE NOW:

UPDATE:
They have now, amazingly and unbelievably, all sold out. And sorry to the person who got the one we scribbled all over. It got mixed up with the proper ones.

Found these. Do not know if they are new or old. They must be quite new, as cameras have only recently been able to take photos this big. Can’t remember her name any more, either.

OK. Can remember her name again. Alison Carroll. Well done whoever cleverly renamed the image files “Alison_Carroll-UHQ_Pictures_001.jpg” and so on, so future generations of Google Image Search-ers know what she was called and who to look for more of.

Carroll with two Rs.

Just to warn you – this photoshoot includes a great costume change. She will soon be wearing less. They are about to wander off message.

Do not know who the original copyright holder is or where they came from.

Do not care. They’re here now. That’s what matters.

They might not be new, but they’re about to become used.

Is this costume part of the Tomb Raider “canon”?

She’s a representative of a video game character. This is allowed. This is fine. This is just what we all do.

It would appear that today’s video games are indeed being developed based on what people vote for in Facebook polls. Look at this. It’s Ryo in Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing.

Oh no, hang on, it was Twitter. 12 people Tweeted that this is what they wanted to buy. Then another seven people said wouldn’t it be good if the forklift magically appeared out of the sky.

So that’s what happens now. Sadly, when the charts come out early next year, we’d imagine THE PEOPLE will have decided that what they really want is more FIFA still.

The PEOPLE are STUPID. So put FIFA in it. Have Wembley Stadium turn up, riding a big horse and dropping lumps of turf on Dr Eggman.

These thinner, lightweight new models are so much easier to carry home and position around the house.

Taken from here. The site has a Flickr account here, but there’s a disappointing lack of original resolution source material.

Looks like we’re back in poo-based fan fiction territory.

“Hi, thought you might like some snaps of this year’s visit to Tokyo. It would make a perfect half-hearted update.”

“One day we found this Joypolis in Odaiba.”

“As you may see, the SEGA brand is no longer the draw it once was. The place was nearly empty, apart from a few Japanese who looked lost and confused.”

“Inside was not much better, only saved by some kids who were bunking off school to play the latest Rambo game.”

“There was a general lack of SEGA-ness to the whole affair, to be honest. Apart from Sonic selling-out by endorsing Hello Kitty UFO catchers.”

“All was not lost however, as we spent a good hour trying to find all the secret pods where you would get stamps of all your favourite Sonic characters (and Shadow). I’m 25 years old by the way.” – Matthew.

Ill-informed foreign manufacturer thinks us lot in the West are all still playing Dreamcasts. Most of the people around here still are, but that’s not enough to base an import/export hardware business on.

“Power inverter that uses a (poorly Photoshopped) picture of a DC as its example of ‘game system’. What’s odd is that it has a big blob of fine print for using a picture of an iPod, and for the DC they ‘shop out the logo but not the ‘SEGA’ (of course it would be ‘AGES’ since it’s mirrored). Keep fighting the good fight” – Quzar

In case you’re wondering and can’t be bothered to search as the search box probably doesn’t work anyway, we have done a Dreamcast as generic games console update before. There is nothing that has not been done.

We know the internet. We know the #1 thing people on the internet want to see is photos of female TV presenters in different positions and scenarios than usual, wearing different clothes than usual. It lets you build up a wider, more solid fantasy scenario in your head, if you know what sort of clothes they wear outside of the studio.

This, for example, is what Georgie might wear on a “night out” with “the girls”.

Photos taken from the Daily Mail. The excuse for reading the Daily Mail web site is as follows – we were writing something proper for someone else about Sky and Xbox 360, and required an image. These images popped up in Google Image Search, leading us to the Daily Mail web site for the larger originals.

To be on the safe side, can about 50 of you lot get down there as well? And take proper cameras, not mobile phones.

If you enter the competition and win, that’s your travel expenses paid.