Reader “Christian” from Denmark sent us a link to this. It’s a competition we can’t enter, and a competition that the mere existence of makes us sad.

It’s a Shenmue action figure we will never be allowed to have.

Click here to see the error message with your own pained and incredulous eyes.

No doubt these are already winging their way via courier to PEOPLE WHO DO NOT DESERVE THEM and who won’t do blog updates where they take 1000 photos of them driving along real roads. We’ve got to get back into this “loop” everyone else seems to be in.

Got sent this. There’s a low-res version of it on the internet, but here it is all proper. It is from SEGA’s glory fortnight, back in 1993, when it sponsored the (a) Formula One (event).

And that was when people watched Formula One, and when Ayrton Senna was the best. Happy days.

“The SEGA Europe marketing budget for 1991-1997 got all spent in, well, 1993. In Donington” – F.

Remember the bizarre Sonic-themed Alton Towers business? Turns out the Sonic-branded hotel room exists, and has been designed as a chamber in which the worship of Sonic 4 takes place. It is an advert in hotel room format, basically.

Here are some slightly too dark photos, taken from Sonic Stadium and coming via the suite’s inhabitant’s Twitter thing.

Sadly the visitor didn’t report on what the in-room TV pornography options are. That’s always the first thing we check out when visiting any hotel room, even before we see what kind of free shampoos there are.

There’s another amazingly detailed gonzo report over at “Girl Gamers” in which they take millions of photos of the entire day.

They also say they were invited by SEGA. We were not invited by SEGA. Why would that be, SEGA?

Presumably we weren’t invited because the room is all new and they didn’t want it staining in any way, and didn’t want the towels being wanked into.

Or maybe we’re just out of yet another loop.

Maybe this was the photo that illustrated what kinds of in-room pornography is available?

UKR FACTS: We are sad not to have been invited to this. We would’ve bothered replying to the email and might’ve even gone. But wouldn’t have mingled with anyone else.

A logo that’s “a bit” like the Dreamcast logo, also including a name that’s “a bit” like SEGA. Two things that are a bit like, but not actually anything like or to do with, SEGA.

Basically, here’s a random photograph.

“I was recently on holiday in Brazil and a picture of this shop seemed just the thing for the site. Yes, the Dreamcast logo from this health shop is slightly off, but it also nearly spells SEGA! There were lots of those ‘Segafredo’ coffee stalls there too, but I spared you the embarrassment of posting the same pics again.”

“I’ve been a long time reader of your site and after seeing some of the things you willingly post, I knew I had a chance with this. I hope to see many more Sonic bedspreads and socks. All the best” – Tom.

Found this on the “news wires” while looking for photos of men in suits. Some of you might like it. You can see her toes, and she’s been reduced to the level of compliant product.

She’s little more than a bit of meat thrown on a sofa to help shift units.

We have nothing to say about fashion.

Or Beyonce. Find her odd mixture of “I like Jesus” and “Look at my sexy bottom and buy my recordings” very difficult to compute. She’s unsettling, like a nine-year-old girl wearing mummy’s heels and makeup.

So we did have something to say about Beyonce after all. Preferred her in Destiny’s Child, though.

Nintendo News: Beyoncé and Nintendo Expand Partnership to Promote Fashion and Fun in 2010

REDMOND, Wash. — Fans of Nintendo’s fashion-themed Style Savvy game for the Nintendo DS and Nintendo DSi™ systems will have access to some hot new designs this year, thanks to an expanded partnership between Nintendo and renowned entertainment icon Beyoncé. Style Savvy players with broadband Internet access will soon be able to download five designs from the real-life Deréon clothing line co-created by Beyoncé and her mother, designer Tina Knowles. As managers of their own virtual boutiques, players can incorporate these chic Deréon fashions as they create one-of-a-kind looks for their in-game clientele.

“I love that I get to become a stylist and take over my own boutique, and it’s so much fun to see some of my Deréon designs added to the mix.”

“Style Savvy is all about creativity and fashion, both of which are really important to me,” says Beyoncé. “I love that I get to become a stylist and take over my own boutique, and it’s so much fun to see some of my Deréon designs added to the mix.”

[Read the rest of this entry…]

The novelty of this one wore off halfway through typing that headline, but we’ll push on with it anyway. Basically a man says this woman from Diablo III looks like Violet Berlin from very old games TV, which is a coincidence, as his dad used to teach geography to Andy Crane when he was in college.

Yes, that’s all there is to it. This woman is a bit like Violet Berlin, and the man who sent it in’s dad taught Andy Crane about oxbow lakes.

This woman is a bit like Violet Berlin, and the man who sent it in’s dad taught Andy Crane about oxbow lakes:

“You’re probably the only games news site to know Violet Berlin’s name (and her previous games role in Micro Machines 2 on the Mega Drive) without Googling or Wikipediaing or some other internet bullshit nonsense, so I thought you might be interested in this. Incidentally, my dad taught geography to Andy Crane when he was in college” – PenguinJim.

This incredibly evocative and thought-provoking art has now “gone live” on the Sonic 4 site. The piece, supplied untitled, echoes the stripped-down nature of the new Sonic product. The use of white space symbolises the game’s simple approach – the leaves of the tree represent the coming of spring.

As the tree renews itself each year, so too does the Sonic franchise. Let us hope the fruit it bears is not rotted and filled with writhing larvae.

Just imagine – that tree may scroll past while embedded in the background scenery. Makes you think.

A man called “Shark” sent in the two images you see crudely mashed-together below, claiming SEGA All-Stars Racing is guilty of copying and pasting the likeness of Italian singer Little Tony to represent Shenmue star Ryo.

Basically, we haven’t got any other material to use today and can’t face opening the Hotmail Account of Doom.

Here’s a bigger one of Little Tony, for your files.

This just in from our NIGHTMARE ALTERNATE REALITY correspondent. The man selling it claims it’s a “Collectable promo version” which hints at this being a legitimate licensed SEGA/Sony Music production.

There are still five days left on the auction at time of typing, if you want to risk finding out.

“I’m not sure you’re receiving my emails. Either that or you’re ignoring them? Nevertheless, here’s another find for you to upload on a slow day” – Phorenzik.

That’s the tracklisting. Click on it to remind yourself how bad music was in 1993.

The laughably useless “plot” area of the Sonic 4 web site is… very poor. As in, written by someone not entirely au fait with assembling words. We have screencapped it, for posterity.

We weren’t going to mention this at all, until we saw the use of “fly’s” in this bit. Putting the apostrophe there makes it mean something that belongs to a fly, or worse still, a shortened version of “fly is”.

Bizarre sentences, made worse through random comma placement.

“Then it was all a dream and mum came in with some fresh biscuits”.

PREVIOUSLY ON ‘LOST’.

Although… perhaps we are once again over-analysing a product aimed at children?

A prize to anyone who reads all the way through this one.

Now we can say “We told you so” when it turns out rubbish.