Even a broken Segasonic Cosmofighter should be in a list of the world’s top ten greatest arcade machines.

Desert Tank was part of SEGA’s career gaming series, which also included games like office sim “Desk Desk Admin”, catering game “Fries With Everything!” and mobile phone salesman simulator “Get Minutes”.

We’d like to Hard Dunk all over that!

There is also a photo of a slightly confused and frightened little girl, no doubt wondering why being in an arcade is not as much fun as it is supposed to be.

Imagine getting off with a girl wearing a red SEGA shirt! You could reach over, pretending you’re feeling her chest, then sneakily feel the quality embroidery of that logo.

You might even be able to distract her enough to steal that SEGA “staff” badge.

That SEGA logo is AMAZING. We have said a lot of SEGA things are AMAZING over the years, sometimes unnecessarily, but that logo… that logo is… AMAZING. It really does sum up SEGA.

Here she is, performing a press. It looks like a good press. A well extended finger, clean body shape, clever use of the left hand to draw the eye into the object – plus she’s looking away from the target button which always makes it harder. This is a good choice for SEGA.

THE FUNCTIONAL EMAIL: “Hi. Don’t know if you’ve had this before, but here’s a picture of a newsagent near Shoreditch that has the word SEGA in its name. Cheers, Andy”

If closely analysing a child’s toy for signs of primary and secondary sexual organs is wrong, we don’t want to be right.

These photos were submitted by a reader. It is not us that has the plastic toy armpit fetish.

And one with the flash, just in case using the flash shows up any additional detail, like, say, nipples.

And a close-up with the flash, just in case this shows up any nipples. It would appear Eidos has vetoed nipples :(

Still no nipples. Not even the outline of a bra. This is rubbish.

Nice toe definition.

THE SLIGHTLY CONFUSING EMAIL: “First of, this was once british HP sauce and not that crap you find in tesco budget sauce so it tasted awesome, it was just tomato sauce and pasta, thats it!! it says it got no E ingredientes so happly give it to your kids. The shapes of the pasta where: Sonic, chopper, batbrain, orbinaut, ball hog, sally acorn – no tails even though he’s on the front cover of the damn tin. Muzzymon.”

Beautiful artwork, so much better than the US version. Really captures the essence of Sonic 1 and makes you proud to live in a country that feeds its children on licensed pasta snacks.

Sonic was spotted fronting a back street karaoke bar in Japan.

“Hey, this is from a health food store window in London, Ontario, in Canada. You guys rejected my request on Xbox Live but you must get a lot anyways. But I’ll let you know once I get my Live account up and running again. Hope you like the pic.”

This is Sonic, spotted breakdancing at the French ‘Micromania Game Show’. It will be taken off YouTube by the time you read this, as that’s what always happens.

These are of Sonic, spotted endorsing a Meccano rip-off building contest in Stockholm! Thanks for the photos, man from Stockholm.

Some nice Sonic graffiti, upon which a heartless vandal has drawn on a very small penis.

This final photo of Sonic and his bitches concludes today’s list of weird things Sonic has been spotted doing recently. Chicks are hot for animals that are into Meccano and breakdancing, apparently.

We’ve already managed two over the top one and are saving the second one for the evening session.

If there’s one thing we really hate it’s sexism, particularly when combined with a family activity such as, say, video games.

This MUST be a joke, though? Even the currently LUNATIC Sony surely wouldn’t stoop this low? Although the site hosting the ads seems legitimate and serious and not like the sort of site fooled by fakes.

Some proper web site ought to send these PS2 adverts to Sony and ask for a comment on their authenticity. If they are real, that’s the massive Sony scandal taken care of for this week.

WHERE IT CAME FROM: “Here is a picture of a Sonic the Hedgehog Daddies Tomato Sauce bottle I’ve had at the back of my cupboard since 1991. I’ve been meaning to send you guys this picture for ages. Best wishes, Mr Jakeway.”

The product was withdrawn from sale in 1992, following complaints that several children were traumatised by seeing Sonic leaking ‘blood’ from a sizable head wound.

THE EMAIL: “I was flicking round a few TV channels the other day and spotted Emily Booth on xleague.tv. I took a few photos, thinking that you might appreciate them seeing as you’ve not done an update on her in AGES.

THIS IS WHERE IT GETS FRIGHTENING: “Then, while looking through them, I noticed that if you took the two that I’ve sent to you and had them alternating in some sort of animated GIF, that it could be used by the entire nation as an aid to all the celebratory wanking going on these days, what with the downfall of Sony etc. Sorry I didn’t do the aforementioned GIF myself but I’m crap at computers. Cheers, Gary”.

We have emailed XLEAGUE.TV with a request for an interview with Emily. Hopefully she is not aware of who we are and what we have done about her in the past, and will agree.