It’s a lovely ice sculpture that seems to be modelled on the good old original Sonic, and not the cheeky little shit that appeared from 1998 onwards

That’s it. It was a very lazy update.

Here’s a picture that I wasn’t going to use because it wasn’t very good, but desperate times……..

Not sure if it’s Sonic or Amy. Either way, it’s better than I could do, but rubbish when compared to the ice sculpture.

Let’s all pretend that we like each other and post our own Sega-based snow creations in the comments!

…with its PlayStation1 car models and Sega Saturn trees.

How is Polyphony allowed to get away with this? They should’ve taken their time, not rushed… oh. Amazing Gallery of GT5 Shame submitted by Mr P. Hardman.

Even SEGA’s Mr Nagoshi, the last living, employed, embodiment of the classic, colourful SEGA dream of yesteryear, is now making games about robots/marines/the future accompanied by wisecracking dialogue.

We won’t be buying this, not even when it’s discounted to £12.99 three hours after launch.

This is it. The end. A bald, generic future marine has just rolled an incendiary device into the lobby of SEGA Japan. There’s no one left of any merit to pull out of the rubble. Link via VG247.

A man that calls himself Eyspire and has plenty of time on his hands did this:

That’s it. Feel free to commend/mock his talent in the comments section

Case file No.1

Michael Jackson – The Experience:

The only thing I’m experiencing right now is sadness, contempt and despair

Ubisoft only need seven idiots to buy this before it turns a profit and spawns the inevitable spin off title:

Fin

Some kids got a bit confused about their decades and ironic references.

OPENING PREAMBLE
“There’s a new nightclub built around the general theme of Margaret Thatcher apparently, which is like building a theme park around the concept of getting to the till in the supermarket and realising you need to go get cash out of the machine, and having to walk back after your withdrawal to an impatient till line giving you the stinkeye.

“As you might expect from a nightclub modeled on Maggie, it features rudimentary graffiti drawings of Mr. T, who few realise was a fairly marginal Tory backbencher under the reign of the Iron Lady.

“The walls are also decorated with other our most beloved pop culture icons, such as the sensational William Hague and a particularly striking mural of the glitzy and glamorous Enoch Powell to help set the scene for a night of hedonistic delights. But the real belle of the ball is a hedgehog you know all too well! No, it’s not the one that turns up in your garden sometimes making revolting sex grunts and shitting itself when the motion light comes on, it’s Sonic, so don’t go leaving out a plate of milk and bread for him. I think they chose Sonic to epitomise the 80s, clearly overlooking the fact that Sonic first appeared in 1991 alongside an incumbent John Major. Anyway, I read it in the Guardian, on my Kindle, whilst tastefully sipping a fairtrade cappucino and listening to the new Paolo Nutini album on my iPod Touch in the business lounge of the Eurostar. I was wearing cream chinos” – Weatherbox.

I’m sorry. So very sorry…….

There’s one positive to take from all this. At least Sega went tits up  before they ever stooped this low.

Here’s the Cyber Razor Cut advert to restore balance to the world:

Take that Nintendo. Although, to be fair, Nintendo did hire Rik Mayall in the SNES days when all Sega could afford was Spudgun from Bottom.

WORLD EXCLUSIVE!!!

You saw it here first folks. Brand new leaked pictures from someone’s mate’s dad, whose missus works at a Sony Centre!

WORLD EXCLUSIVE!!!

What we know:

It’s 3D, because they’re serious about forcing this kind of novelty onto consumers.

It’s HD because it makes it sound better.

It’s got one of those touch screens that don’t work properly for games, but are all the rage these days.

It’s got 5 analogue sticks because this is the only thing Sony can think to innovate on.

There’s no headphone socket because it’s got FOUR speakers to allow you BLAST OUT Tinchy Stryder at FULL WHACK. It’s more than loud enough to entertain everyone else who’s also on the train/bus/tram.

It’s got another seventeen buttons round the back (not pictured) and loads of other things that they’ve copied off someone else.

It’ll be released around Christmas time next year, when people have plenty of money to shell out on rubbish.

It will be AT LEAST THREE HUNDRED NOTES!

Gran Turismo 6 is DEFINITELY a launch title.

No!

…SHOCK. As far as we’re concerned, a “retro rollback” is having a wank while remembering that lovely woman from Buck Rogers. Then Deanna Troi loses her clothes in a teleportation accident and turns up and etc etc

“Here’s an image for a slow news day months from now. WWEShop.com ran a retro sale, and it looks like someone on their graphics team is a SEGA fan. Hope everyone’s having an enjoyable 2011!” – Josh.