Entries in the ‘ACTUAL GAMES’ Category:

“SONIC 2 HD”

This is turning out nice.

sonic 2 hd mild peril

As in, it might be worth spending 10 minutes with to confirm that it’s exactly the same game underneath, then not bothering any more because it’s exactly the same game underneath.

sonic 2 crop

That’s some serious peril. You could possibly spin-dash forwards, but the only real way to safeguard the rings would be a humiliating jump backwards.

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DREAMCAST LIVES!

Sega are reviving the Dreamcast brand by releasing a four in one Dreamcast game pack for PC and Xbox Live Arcade.

With their immense back catalogue we’re sure to be in for quite a treat.

Daytona?
Sega Rally 2?
Shenmue?
Jet Set Radio?

No!

Instead, they’ve opted for:
Stupid Bass Fishing
Space Channel 5 Part 2
Sonic Adventure
Crazy shitting Taxi

Apparently, they’re ‘visually enhanced’

They might even make it so you can’t fall through the floor in Sonic Adventure.

Also, two of these are already available on Xbox Live Arcade, which is certain to please anyone who’s previously purchased them.

Here’s a video of Michael Jackson in Space Channel 5 Part 2

Thinking back, Space Channel 5 wasn’t actually that good.

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WHY GAMING’S GONE TO SHIT. AGAIN!

This has only been out for five weeks and its sold over 2 million copies.

The PS3 and Xbox 360 versions haven’t been released at all and It’s yet to be released in Japan on any format, so this figure will grow.

Shenmue 1 & 2 (including the re-released Xbox version of Shenmue 2) COMBINED have sold less.

I don’t know the exact figures because I’m too furious to check, instead opting to make wild accusations.

Happy fucking new year games industry.

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YET ANOTHER BLOODY DREAMCAST GAME IS COMING OUT

It is called Sturmwind. We suspect that’s German for Storm Wind. It’s about horizontal alien attack and looks surprisingly OK, especially as its Wikipedia entry says it was originally meant for the Atari Jaguar CD.

Here’s the official trailer.

And here’s the press release, so we can say we’re still supporting the people who do this sort of thing even though we think they’re actually just a bit mental:

Recently, redspotgames revealed their latest Dreamcast title on “neues,” a news program on the German channel 3sat. There Max Scharl, CEO of redspotgames, presented Sturmwind for Dreamcast for the first time, including scenes from the game. But aside from a few clips in the background, this announcement was largely comprised of screenshots rather than video.

Since then, Sturmwind has been the recipient of wide-ranging international media feedback. The interest in this Shoot ‘em Up for the last Sega platform has taken hold not only in the Dreamcast scene, but far beyond. redspotgames has been thrilled to receive such interest from outside the target audience.

Now redspotgames, an indie publisher based in Munich and Duranik, a two-man developer team from Erlenmoos, Germany, present the official Sturmwind trailer on their YouTube pages. The trailer features several levels as well as some of the game’s impressive bosses. It has also been revealed that the environment is completely destructable and that the game will feature vertical scrolling sections in addition to the horizontal. Sturmwind is still on target for a Q2 2011 release.

Preorder can be made at http://www.redspotgames.com/shop. As the publishers note, payment is not required until Sturmwind becomes available.

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A REVIEW OF A NEW SEGA PRODUCT

Well, sort of.

It’s actually the Blaze “10-games-in-one” Megadrive system. But it’s new! I bought it from a real shop! Yesterday! Just like when Sega used to have consoles stocked in shops!

So… is it any good?

There's a Sad Onion on the back of the box too...

The box looks authentic, like a real Sega product. This is EXCITING!

The Megadrive logo is wonky. The kind of attention to detail that put Sega where they are now...

The console itself is very, very light. The controllers are tacky and the d-pads are sharp enough to cause serious injury if carelessly hurled during a heated gaming session. You can however plug in regular Megadrive controllers. There is also a cartridge slot for your Megadrive games. The whole thing runs through 2 composite leads, one for video and one for audio.

Oh dear :(

…and this is the game selection screen. Fatal Labyrinth appears to have been elided into one word. The colour’s a bit washed out, but it IS on a 42″ TV.

ESWAT vs the dreaded flash!

And this is an actual game running from the console. Verdict? The colours are a bit washed out, and the sound is tinny but it’s less of an arse than trying to get your old Megadrive running on an LCD TV with a decent picture. It’s a bit finicky about some Megadrive games, but it’s played most of the ones I’ve tried. Overall? It’s a cheap bit of fun, and if your old console is totally knackered you could do worse than give it a punt.

7/10, or if you want it in stars *** out of *****

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ONE LAST ROLL OF THE DICE FOR ‘EPIC MICKEY’

Someone at Disney thought that paying a big-name photographer lots of money to take photographs of a plastic child’s toy in a variety of London locations might boost sales of the Wii platform game.

epic mickey photos

We have not requested the high-resolution originals.

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FACEBOOK RAPES OUR CHILDHOOD MEMORIES

Facebook¬† have been guilty of many things – breaching people’s privacy, messing up people’s lives and jobs¬†and all those infuriating ‘repost this status if you agree’ comments. But now they’ve gone too far. This is war:

There is no funny alt-text that will make this alright... :(

You are looking at ‘Crazy Taxi,’ the Facebook game. When I asked someone who played it if it was anything like Sega’s Crazy Taxi, he replied “Sadly no. It’s like a Chase HQ / Out Run combo with jumping. Minus all the fun.”

You can watch it in motion here if you want. I don’t recommend it, it’s just too awful. :(

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WHERE ARE THEY NOW? JACKY BRYANT / SEGA SAMMY EDITION

Jacky has taken on an acting role, playing one of the non-player characters in marginally upscaled PlayStation2 remake Gran Turismo 5.The second image comes from “Dave” and we may have used it before but can’t remember.

jacky bryant gt5

“Just thought I’d let you know that I have spotted Virtua Fighter star Jacky Bryant in Sony’s Gran Turismo 5. It must be from the lack of new beat ‘em ups being released via AM2, but Jacky seems to have been spending an awful lot of time racing these days. His last Sega appearance was in Sonic & Sega All-stars Racing, but now Jacky has given in to all that dirty Sony money and has put his racing skills to effect in the latest PlayStation Scud Race clone.”

gt5-sega

“Personally I put this entire shocking move down to the lack of a home conversion of Virtua Fighter 5 Final Showdown, which would have given Jacky a lot more steady work rather than have to whore himself out for measly bit-parts in games” – Simon.

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GRAN TURISMO 5 REDEFINES CURRENT GENERATION GRAPHICAL CAPABILITIES

…with its PlayStation1 car models and Sega Saturn trees.

gran turismo 5

How is Polyphony allowed to get away with this? They should’ve taken their time, not rushed… oh. Amazing Gallery of GT5 Shame submitted by Mr P. Hardman.

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IT IS DEFINITELY ALL OVER

Even SEGA’s Mr Nagoshi, the last living, employed, embodiment of the classic, colourful SEGA dream of yesteryear, is now making games about robots/marines/the future accompanied by wisecracking dialogue.

We won’t be buying this, not even when it’s discounted to £12.99 three hours after launch.

This is it. The end. A bald, generic future marine has just rolled an incendiary device into the lobby of SEGA Japan. There’s no one left of any merit to pull out of the rubble. Link via VG247.

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