Here’s a new controversy that will surely set Twitter AFIRE WITH RAGE – our national broadcaster has been taking backhanders from the enemy in order to promote its latest cash-burning PlayStation3 software development to consumers.

Or perhaps this is a warning. Be wary of overly-hyped, big budget releases that are simply too important for anyone to say they’re shit until they’ve been out for well a year. Oh yes, THEN everyone will bravely pipe-up about it PERHAPS being a bit overrated. SCUM. ALL OF YOU. SCUM.

Not you, Nazaneen. Everyone else.

“I was keeping abreast of the local news this evening, being entertained by Polly Evans and the male presenter bloke on ‘South East Today’, with the mix of quirky and non-interesting stories gradually eating away at my soul. Then the weather came on, where Nazaneen Ghaffar showed us how much were going to get pissed on for the next few days, with soon after, some blatant advertising for the PlayStation3 exclusive (but not as good as Shenmue) ‘Triple-A title’ Heavy Rain. To me this seems a little TOO convenient to be a coincidence, with the UK release of Heavy Rain being this Friday. The enemy has infiltrated the BBC, or Nazaneen, or maybe both” – Sam.

Karl, who made that odd gangster-based Sonic game, has already bashed out another entirely separate release in a whole new genre. The likes of Bungie and Epic would do well to learn from Karl’s superb work ethic.

Here’s his latest work, entitled Zero Quest. You can download it here, if you think this sort of this is appealing:

“I would like to thank you for putting up my first proper attempt at a game (that cheese-dream Sonic The Hedgehog game). That has inspired me to go and actually take up making games as a hobby. I actually got my next proper one featured in Retro Gamer, which made me quite proud.”

“I have just finished a game that parodies Nintendo’s Legend of Zelda. I have attached it for you. You can upload it if you want, if you have a slow day.”

“I have hidden Dreamcast spirals in the game, as a thankyou to you. I also attach an image to prove this. They appear in a hidden area, where old video game characters drink themselves into oblivion to blot out the fact that they are now forgotten. I thought it was touchingly fitting” – Karl.

AN APOLOGY:

We are sorry to RetroCoders for not mentioning his/their Xbox Live Indie game Adventures of Sid. We were going to, then took too long about it, then it was mentioned again, then it seemed a bit awkward AND THEN we started to feel bad about it. Sorry. It won’t happen again.

Someone has broken the UNSPOKEN RULE about not taking screenshots of certain things obtained by using certain procedures and putting them on the internet, but that’s their problem not ours.

That looks very pretty. We’d be tempted to bust out an exclamation mark, were it not the same old boss battle from Sonic 1 in high-res.

Dazzling. We are happy today.

Hey kids! Have you ever wanted to see a balloon animal version of Sonic The Hedgehog? No? Well fuck you. You do what we say until you turn 18.

“I attended AOU 2010 last Saturday and I thought you might like to see where SEGA of Japan is putting its marketing money: balloon animals.”

“Also have another one of the Sonic suit without people gawking at it should you need it” – Danny.

No thanks, Danny. You have already provided more than enough. And thanks for persevering and thanks for sending in six 4.3MB photos even though we’ve only used the three.

We would’ve turned around and walked away from the venue, after being confronted with that logo.

NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH:

– The American Ornithologists’ Union

Video seems to be based around pointing video cameras at Japanese people because they often wear brightly-coloured clothes. It’s directed by “McG” – a man who has to be respected for managing to kill the Terminator with only a film camera as a weapon.

Watch Kirsten Dunst “Turning Japanese” in Music | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

You can see several SEGA logos in the video, is why it’s on here. Thanks to the man who doesn’t want to say what his name is (understandable) for sending it in.

So we might as well give it to him, in the name of maintaining positive consumer relations – even though one of them’s about Mario and another one of them’s about Final Fantasy AND we don’t even make $0.02 each time you buy one.

“We are an upcoming video game t-shirt brand comprised of graphic designer game super geeks! Our t-shirts are 100% original, professionally designed and screen printed. Our t-shirts delve a little deeper than the thousands of others out there, we get the need for gamers to represent but also the need for subtlety.”

“I would grateful if you could feature us on UK:RESISTANCE, being a British based site I think it would sit well. I have attached a few examples of our shirts” – Dean.

Thanks, Dean. If by any chance you sell 1000 t-shirts today, can we have a cut to buy a cup of coffee and a sandwich with? Only a cheap sandwich, nothing fancy from Pret. An egg mayo from Greggs would be a huge treat.

When they stop we’ll be sad, but while they carry on we are indifferent. They can’t win. It’s like Top of the Pops – we gave up watching it in 1996, but were still quite upset when it was axed.

It’s Virtua Fighter 5: Final Showdown, coming soon to an internet petition site near you.

Sent in by an “Alex” who must be a bit young and therefore still able to “get into” things like this. He probably even remembers what the buttons are and what those two new characters are called.

Reader “Christian” from Denmark sent us a link to this. It’s a competition we can’t enter, and a competition that the mere existence of makes us sad.

It’s a Shenmue action figure we will never be allowed to have.

Click here to see the error message with your own pained and incredulous eyes.

No doubt these are already winging their way via courier to PEOPLE WHO DO NOT DESERVE THEM and who won’t do blog updates where they take 1000 photos of them driving along real roads. We’ve got to get back into this “loop” everyone else seems to be in.

Remember the bizarre Sonic-themed Alton Towers business? Turns out the Sonic-branded hotel room exists, and has been designed as a chamber in which the worship of Sonic 4 takes place. It is an advert in hotel room format, basically.

Here are some slightly too dark photos, taken from Sonic Stadium and coming via the suite’s inhabitant’s Twitter thing.

Sadly the visitor didn’t report on what the in-room TV pornography options are. That’s always the first thing we check out when visiting any hotel room, even before we see what kind of free shampoos there are.

There’s another amazingly detailed gonzo report over at “Girl Gamers” in which they take millions of photos of the entire day.

They also say they were invited by SEGA. We were not invited by SEGA. Why would that be, SEGA?

Presumably we weren’t invited because the room is all new and they didn’t want it staining in any way, and didn’t want the towels being wanked into.

Or maybe we’re just out of yet another loop.

Maybe this was the photo that illustrated what kinds of in-room pornography is available?

UKR FACTS: We are sad not to have been invited to this. We would’ve bothered replying to the email and might’ve even gone. But wouldn’t have mingled with anyone else.

Found this on the “news wires” while looking for photos of men in suits. Some of you might like it. You can see her toes, and she’s been reduced to the level of compliant product.

She’s little more than a bit of meat thrown on a sofa to help shift units.

We have nothing to say about fashion.

Or Beyonce. Find her odd mixture of “I like Jesus” and “Look at my sexy bottom and buy my recordings” very difficult to compute. She’s unsettling, like a nine-year-old girl wearing mummy’s heels and makeup.

So we did have something to say about Beyonce after all. Preferred her in Destiny’s Child, though.

Nintendo News: Beyoncé and Nintendo Expand Partnership to Promote Fashion and Fun in 2010

REDMOND, Wash. — Fans of Nintendo’s fashion-themed Style Savvy game for the Nintendo DS and Nintendo DSi™ systems will have access to some hot new designs this year, thanks to an expanded partnership between Nintendo and renowned entertainment icon Beyoncé. Style Savvy players with broadband Internet access will soon be able to download five designs from the real-life Deréon clothing line co-created by Beyoncé and her mother, designer Tina Knowles. As managers of their own virtual boutiques, players can incorporate these chic Deréon fashions as they create one-of-a-kind looks for their in-game clientele.

“I love that I get to become a stylist and take over my own boutique, and it’s so much fun to see some of my Deréon designs added to the mix.”

“Style Savvy is all about creativity and fashion, both of which are really important to me,” says Beyoncé. “I love that I get to become a stylist and take over my own boutique, and it’s so much fun to see some of my Deréon designs added to the mix.”

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