Cash-rich mega-publisher Activision has decided that youths and grown-ups being near its equipment is a good idea. In the case of Tony Hawk Ride, it is certainly a better idea than the actual product.

Let’s all just agree that the Tony Hawk series – and video games in general – peaked at around the period Tony Hawk 3 came out.

“I paid HOW MUCH for this SHIT?”

Since then, it’s been downhill all the way.

Having a bit of plastic does not make the game more fun.

It may make the game a better Christmas present for a friend or relative due to coming in a bigger and therefore more exciting box, but it does nothing for the experience.

This must be the other corner of the room that family is in. You’d think the family would be a bit too old to be living in a flatshare with some teenagers.

Hopefully Activision is preparing some LIFESTYLE photography to go with DJ Hero.

Well, OK then, but first someone’s going to have to send us an iPhone and make it so that it works and that this “app” appears on it. We may need a printout with some instructions on how to get it to load, too, along with something saying what you have to press.

It’s… a something for iPhone. Something about looking at pictures of women. Noticed here by a kindly gentleman contributor. And no, today is not going to see much more ‘effort’ than this.

Keep watching movies of this, expecting it to eventually look terrible. But it keeps on looking more than OK. Bordering on the good, in fact.

Definite month-long mega update potential.

It also functions as a Dreamcast stand. This will remind extremely regular readers of an actual JOKE from a very, very long time ago. It’s good to see we haven’t lost our ‘touch’ when it comes to Photoshop.

“Here is a picture I found on Gumtree last night in the ‘casual relationships’ category. I can’t recall the advert but it was along the lines of ‘black submissive looking for white top'” – Mariano.

WHICH MEGA-BLOG DID THE PICTURE REALLY COME FROM?
Joystiq.

The cunning enemy leopard has changed its spots. It may look different, but it contains the SAME DARK HEART and POISONED SOUL.

The enemy has gained a small measure of respect thanks to releasing a 4.48MB file at 4800 x 3800 resolution.

Sony managed to sell 5,826 PlayStation3s in Japan last week. If you lined all of them up, the line would be long enough to stretch all the way across an average UK kitchen. Or, to put in in a different context, to transport that many PS3s you would need the boot space of three separate Vauxhall Corsas.

JAPANESE HARDWARE SALES, WEEK ENDING AUGUST 9, 2009

DS: 78,765
Wii: 47,140
PSP: 33,893
PS3: 5,826
360: 5,436
PS2: 4,601

Amazing. All those other times people have said PS3 is dead were wrong. Now it actually is. Pronounced at *looks at clock* 12.35pm on August 18 2009.

“Connect 4” is also rumoured to be the new name for PlayStation Network. Figures taken from GAF, home of MEN.

Sent in by “Kieran”. It may seem obvious to you, Kieran, but it didn’t occur to anyone around here.

Possible new t-shirt design? Possible new wallpaper for toilet?

It’s pretty bad when Sony has to sneak BRAVIA adverts into its copyright documentation, for the benefit of people in the copyright approval office who might be thinking about buying a new TV.

Image emailed in by Glen of the screen photography update series. Nice to know he’s still out there and alive. Some facts about what this rubbish new thing of Sony’s is are available here, once you’ve cleared the tears of laughter from your own eyes.

Bonkers consumer goes mental over sex chat numbers in the back of UK games magazines, including quotes such as…

“So over all its been a interesting day finding out that such a major publisher (Imagine Publishing) has no morals when it comes to making money, even if it means serving up pornographic content to children that may read their magazines.”

We’d suggest ‘360’ isn’t really aimed at people who wear shoes like that. At least not outside the house.

Any new hobby will do. Preferably one that involves being outside even if it’s raining and wearing sturdy shoes so your toes don’t get broken by the specialist equipment.

Video games ARE ALL OVER NOW.

Nintendo’s image of what it thinks you look like, just so you know it’s not pretending Wii is for adults. Stolen off Eurogamer.