Reader spotted what appeared to be a Dreamcast being played during “procedural” cop drama CSI.

“I was watching CSI on Living last night at about 11:30 and I noticed that at one point the characters were playing a two-player American football game on the Dreamcast. I don’t have any pictures or evidence of this, so you’ll have to take my word for it. I only emailed you to tell you because your blog has meant that I now look for meaningless Dreamcast related items wherever I am, and I know that you probably get off on reading these sort of emails because it makes you feel really big and powerful and popular” – MM.

SEGA Toys does it again, with the Love Trainer. A perfectly targeted product for those (a) unfamiliar with how to do sex and (b) into SEGA products.

It’s like we were all involved in the planning stages.

An apparently Serbian web site says Virtua Tennis 2009 is a product that’ll be coming out soon. There’s no other mention of it on the entire internet, though, so it might just be a Serbian joke.

Here’s a photograph of Ana Ivanovic, who the hopefully reliable Serbian gaming webmasters say is going to be in it.

If it’s real, it’s the first game of 2009 we’re excited about. And will be one of about three we’ll play.

Overall sales DOWN! Profit DOWN! Hardware sales DOWN! Software sales DOWN! Everything DOWN, DOWN, DOWN!

Apart from the price, which it can’t lower because if it did it’d have to sack a few thousand more office cleaners to help pay for it.

Full facts on Sony’s DISASTER here, summary taken from emerging markets gaming blog VG247. Here’s a link to a serious report in case you need one. And another one. We can’t stop reading different angles!

Oh, and Kotaku‘s got a graph. You can never have enough sources when the news is this good.

A reader who was presumably pissed and trying to buy a year’s supply of poppers off the internet, found this.

“I have no fucking idea what ‘chain’ of internet browsing lead me to this, but, when I came across it I thought of UK:R. It might do as an update if you guys have nothing exciting to post. Regards” – ANON.

Here’s a great measure of how lost and confused Sony and its collaborating “retail partners” are regarding PS3 – a novel way of charging *more* for everyone’s least-favourite toss-box by making it gold. Yes, that’s it. People aren’t buying PS3 because it doesn’t come in gold.

See the incredible 329 euro ($12,979, US readers) BEAN BAG. Also see how Finland is just getting into the whole “bling” thing eight years after the rest of the world.

“Days after announcing record losses and in the middle of a global economic meltdown, Sony offer this fine example of just how out of touch they are – see attached – a scan of a special offer currently running at a local electronics chain. I don’t speak much Finnish so I can’t tell you what all the text says, but hey, the story pretty much writes itself. Or more accurately, you’ll write the story. By the way, I can tell you that the PS3 isn’t really gold. It’s just stickers on top of a normal black PS3” – James.

It’s time to give up. Learn a trade. Become a plumber or a bricklayer. Or a boat maker. People will always need boats. There’s no dignity left in getting excited about mascot-branded products for the benefit of the internet.

“I thought you might like to know that Sonic isn’t losing any sleep over he’s impending relegation as your mascot, as he is now whoring himself on HMV bags. I’ve attached a couple low-quality pictures taken on my phone (it’s a Sony phone, so what do you expect?) for you to weep/masturbate over.”

“Very long time reader, so glad I can finally contribute to your excellent site. I generally got excited when this came up, and I’m not even single. Thanks for your time” – Dan.

Sony’s sent out some new images of Home, the cumbersome 3D PC avatar system from 1998 it mistakenly thinks people will give a toss about. It is grim.

As depressing as a motorway service station at 4.25am when the arcade is closed and the restaurant has sold out of chips. And a cup of tea is £3.99 and it’s 20p to use the toilet.

Imagine a new-build city centre flat. You bought it in May of 2007 for £249,000 with a 100% mortgage. It’s currently worth £169,000. The laminate is already starting to come up. The taps are broken. The ground rent is an additional £1500 a year no one mentioned at the time. That’s PlayStation Home.

Abandoned film set. Three stuntmen died in an accident and shooting was cancelled.

Decaying future world after the ‘Great War’.

HELL. LITERALLY HELL. Laminated HELL.

A seven-hour trek around Homebase with the wife to look at – BUT NOT BUY – new kinds of taps.

As empty and bleak as the hearts of the few PS3 owners that will pretend to be excited by this. THE HORROR. THE HORROR.

No, not a bottle of vodka infused with the chalky and bitter after-taste of 48 crushed-up sleeping pills and 24 crushed-up Nurofens – Mana Health Potion.

A drink in a bottle that looks like something from a game.

And 24 crushed up aspirins, just to make sure it doesn’t hurt.

New Health Energy Potion Energy Shot Enhances Gaming Sessions, Aids in Recovery

Harcos’ Sequel to Mana Energy Potion Boosts Mortals’ Hit Points with Natural Herbs and Vitamins, Adds Fuel to Their Gaming Fire

SANTA MONICA, Calif. Fighting epic battles and embarking on mystical quests can be exhausting and draining, but Harcos’ new Health Energy Potion restores gamers’ energy levels so they can storm back onto the battlefield and conquer adversaries once more. From the two gamers behind the best-selling Mana Energy Potion, the long-anticipated follow up, Health Energy Potion, is now available for gamers everywhere in need of 5-8 hours of smooth, powerful energy, packed in a portable 1.69 oz bottle.

Health Energy Potion possesses a mellow apple-cinnamon flavor and packs helpful natural herbs, such as elderberry and ginseng, and the vitamins biotin and folic acid. With no sugar added, mortals won’t fear the dreaded after crash associated with many other energy shots. Each magical bottle of Health Energy Potion looks like it’s straight out of a video game, and is sure to add +160 to gamers’ HP.

“We heard the cries and read the emails from gamers and geeks alike for a sequel to Mana Energy Potion, and Health Energy Potion is the perfect complimentary energy shot,” said Aaron Rasmussen, co-founder, Harcos. “Whether you’re a hardcore gamer needing more ‘umph’ for an epic quest or frag fest, or just need a pick-me-up in the middle of the day, Health Energy Potion has the fuel required to fight all your battles ’til the apple-cinnamon flavored end.”

Health Energy Potion features:

* 5-8 hours of smooth energy
* Apple-cinnamon flavor
* No sugar, no after crash
* Elderberry, ginseng, biotin and folic acid
* As much caffeine as two cans of Red Bull

Health Energy Potion provides hardcore gamers with the essential energy boost to set out and conquer any thrilling gaming voyage imaginable. With a suggested MSRP of $3.45 per shot, Health Energy Potion is available for immediate order at www.manapotions.com, and will soon be available at retailers Fry’s Electronics, Hot Topic, Micro Center and ThinkGeek.com, among others.

About Elderberries

Elderberry is a dark berry that grows in both the Northern and Southern Hemispheres. Traditionally, the berry has been used in health potions and to provide protection from witches. Cutting down an elderberry tree, on the other hand, is said to release a perturbed spirit named the Elder Mother. An old poem even says, “Elder be the Lady’s tree, burn it not or cursed ye’ll be.” It is also said that the tree could be safely cut while chanting a rhyme to the Elder Mother. When you open a new bottle of Health Energy Potion, it’s recommended to chant: “Full my HP bar may be, sorry I cut down your stupid elder tree.”

About Harcos, Inc.

Based in Santa Monica, Calif., Harcos was founded by two gamer geeks who discovered a niche at the intersection where gaming and consumer products merge with the launch of their first vitamin/energy beverage, Mana Energy Potion. Each magical bottle of Mana Energy Potion looks like it’s straight out of a video game and is filled with a bright blue liquid that adds +160 to mana, packs a powerful dose of vitamins and delivers up to eight hours of smooth energy without sugar or an after crash. The company’s follow up, Health Energy Potion, possesses a mellow apple-cinnamon flavor and is jam-packed with natural herbs, such as elderberry and ginseng, and the vitamins biotin and folic acid, while providing the same 5-8 hours of smooth, powerful energy with no sugar or after crash. Additional information is available at www.manapotions.com.

It’s called Return to Little Planet. It’s based on Sonic CD, which should be the masterplan for life, not just video games.