Entries in the ‘Uncategorized’ Category:

PRESUMABLY UNOFFICIAL SONIC BRANDED SAVOURY SNACK ITEM SPOTTED IN JERUSALEM!

Astonishing discovery! The timeless original Sonic 1 artwork is still in use today. We doubt “Sackboy” will be selling pork-substitute scratchings in the year 2025.

“Was delighted at spotting something Sonic related on holiday in Jerusalem, and I hope you might like it! Not sure what the product itself was – sweets or crisps I guess. Sorry for the shitty quality, but the guy in the second photo, despite his chipper expression, was giving me some odd looks as I was stooping down photograping an empty snack packet and I didn’t much fancy trying to explain myself!” – John.

Photograph made all the more thrilling by close proximity of poorly-maintained military equipment.

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ELSEWHERE ON “THE NETWORK” #00042

We bit down, we pulled through. And everything was OK in the end.

  • This thing which features one of the most astonishing promotional photographs you will ever see.
  • This thing from which you can gain information about what music is OK to like and what music is NOT OK to like.
  • This thing about a PS3 that looks a bit like it’d be nice to have.
  • This thing in which you may accurately gauge how well Nicole Appleton is ageing.
  • This thing about seeing how big things are.
  • This thing about National Stop Running Women Over With Your Car month, because you can’t not use pictures like this when they come along:
  • National Stop Running Women Over With Your Car month

    A perfectly adequate and quota-achieving 5/10.

    Comments (8)

    FAT AND UNHEALTHY MEN PROUD TO ENDORSE “GAMER GRUB”

    Here’s a surprise. A bunch of fat fucks who sit around playing Halo all day are pretty “stoked” about getting some Gamer Grub shite for free.

    The one in the sunglasses needs punching first, and hardest, and with the force of TEN THOUSAND HAMMERS. Taking out the rest would be a happy coincidence.

    Gamer Grub Endorsed by USA’s WCG Gold Medal Halo 3 Team

    SAN DIEGO–(BUSINESS WIRE)–Biosilo Foods today announced Gamer Grub received tremendous response for its line of performance snacks at the E for All Expo held at the Los Angeles Convention Center on October 3 – 5, 2008. News coverage of the snack launch included ABC and NBC news, together with numerous online publications.

    “From the buzz generated since the launch of Gamer Grub at E for All, we received great response and community feedback,” said Keith Mullin, founder and CEO of Biosilo Foods. “We are currently incorporating much of the community feedback into Gamer Grub, prior to its release in early 2009.”

    Gamer Grub, the Official Snack Supplier for WCG USA 2008, is also endorsed by MoB Gaming—USA’s WCG Gold Medal Halo 3 Team. The winning MoB Gaming Halo 3 team is headed to Cologne, Germany on November 5 – 9, 2008, representing the United States in the 80-country WCG 2008 World Grand Final.

    “We are proud to have Gamer Grub join the MoB Gaming Family. We snacked on Gamer Grub the entire weekend of E for All, and thought it was amazing,” said Joey Yamcharem “Scrubtwista,” MoB Deep’s Halo 3 team member. “We won the WCG USA, receiving the gold medal in Halo 3. Gamer Grub is the snack of champions.”

    Gamer Grub is currently offered in four tasty flavors—Pizza Blend, PB&J Blend, Wasabi Blend and Chocolate Blend. Gamer Grub will be available online and at retail stores beginning in 2009. For more information on Gamer Grub, visit www.gamergrub.com.

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    NEW PSP HAS A RUBBISH SCREEN

    Those aren’t our admittedly untrustworthy words fuelled by years of hate – they’re the words of impartial people previously happy to give Sony their money in return for a sub-standard product.

    The shit-screened new PSP made a man so angry he had to use CAPITAL LETTERS. Hopefully this latest lone complaint on a Sony forum will lead to a global crisis and millions of dirty Sony pounds going down the big business toilet.

    PSP 3000 'shit screen' shame

    “Just got a silver 3000. And noticed something wrong right away. Yes the color gamut is wider, yes the black levels are lower, but this screen now has what look like scanlines that were not visible on PSP’s before. Even worse, THERE ARE VERY VISIBLE INTERLACING ISSUES NOW. VERY NOTICEABLE IN R&C SIZE MATTERS. I am not happy about my ‘upgrade’.” – Sony’s own backyard.

    Comments (9)

    WE HAVE A NEW MASCOT

    He’s called Sackboy. He’s been user-generated. He is about to become all the rage among the mainstream. Even The Times is going to write something positive about this.

    He was found by a man called “RetroBob” who found it while definitely not looking for furry pornography/cosplay.

    Comments (13)

    HIGH RESOLUTION PHOTO APPEAL

    Has anyone got this at around 17000 x 12000 resolution, please?

    Girls Aloud, all managing to hold it the right way up/around

    It’s for putting on the internet.

    Girls Aloud SOCKS ACTION

    A feature on UKR will definitely help drive sales in Q4. Thanks.

    Comments (25)

    SONIC’S EXCITING TRIP TO THE CITY!

    “Gee, Sonic! Look at all those businessmen in suits with umbrellas standing at bus stops! What is this strange place called? Let’s go take a look! Can we? Can we, Sonic? Please!”

    These photos were taken to celebrate the fact that Sonic was voted the most popular games character EVER in the UK and to publicise the London Games Festival. Incredibly, “the mainstream” has already reported on this as proper news.

    We’d like to know just how many of the people who voted for Sonic have a copy of Dreamcast Sonic Adventure.

    That costume needs a comprehensive re-stuffing. It’s all over the place.

    We have it on good authority that there’s a lady inside that suit.

    He last saw Tails semi-conscious in a gay bar at 3.30am last night.

    Press Release
    For immediate release

    SONIC TOP DOG HEDGEHOG

    A bright blue, spiky-haired, lightening-fast hedgehog has beaten not-so-Super Mario, cyber-babe Lara Croft and giant ape Donkey Kong to the title of the nation’s favourite video-game character.

    Over 500 UK gamers voted in the poll to mark the launch of London Games Festival, which is expected to attract over 100,000 computer games fans to the capital this week.

    Ahead of his appearance at the Festival, Sonic the Hedgehog, the official mascot of computer giant SEGA, was crowned the most popular video-game character of all time collecting nearly a quarter of all votes (24 per cent). Super Mario and Tomb Raider’s Lara Croft came second and third gaining 21 per cent and 16 per cent of the vote respectively.

    The UK’s top ten most popular video games characters are as follows:
    1. Sonic the Hedgehog (24 per cent)
    2. Super Mario (21 per cent)
    3. Lara Croft (Tomb Raider) (16 per cent)
    4. Donkey Kong (11 per cent)
    5. Pac Man (10 per cent)
    6. Link (The Legend of Zelda) (5 per cent)
    7. Max Payne (4 per cent)
    8. Pikachu (Pokemon) (3 per cent)
    9. Niko Belic (Grand Theft Auto series) (2 per cent)
    10. Blanka (Street Fighter) (1 per cent)

    * Other (3 per cent)

    For more information and images of Sonic the Hedgehog out and about in London please contact the SEGA press office at Mischief on 020 7100 9999 or sega@mischiefpr.com

    Comments (17)

    THE TEARS!

    The internet is full of Sony fans sobbing their guts up through their eyeballs over the LittleBigPlanet recall hilarity. Here are some of the places you can go to laugh at the mess.

    Media Molecule – “I was so excited to get this game. No longer. Sorry, guys, but I’m going to have to cancel my pre-order. You can say it’s about “quality,” but we all know that isn’t true. It is only about fear. Well, you’re a business, first and foremost, and of course you have to consider the ramifications of offending fanatical Muslims. Now you’ve offended me, and as such I don’t feel you deserve my money.”

    Three Speech – “As much as we’re all about free speech on Three Speech (and we really do want you to debate and discuss how you feel about SCEE and PlayStation) this is obviously a pretty contentious issue, so please try to avoid saying anything too inflammatory in this thread. Try to keep your comments measured and your criticism constructive everyone…”

    Sony’s blog – “Since Sony is giving into terrorism, I guess I’ll just cancel my Little Big Planet pre-order and go buy Fable II next week.”

    Eurogamer – “Stop having a go at Muslims. It’s PC idiots over at Sony who are massively overreacting.”

    Nothing pleases us more than a global PR disaster.

    Comments (37)

    YOUR LICENSE FEE IS BEING USED TO DISRESPECT SEGA

    The BBC is doing a quiz about old computers here. It features an appearance by the Saturn, which the BBC erroneously suggests was not successful.

    This is not why we don’t pay our license fee.

    The 50-million-selling SAGE Satrun

    The way we remember it, Saturn was a SMASH – it’s just unfortunate that the internet wasn’t around at the time to record its many victories in 1995, when, for a few months, it was the best-selling 32-bit console of all. And we’re only on 5/10 because we were rushing.

    Comments (16)

    AUSTRALIAN CAR WITH “SONIC” NUMBER PLATE

    This was sent in back in March. We have been sitting on it all this time. Or, rather, we have been waiting for a day when there’s such a lack of quality alternative material available that even a car number plate photograph is welcome.

    “I spotted this in a shopping mall car park and thought it was worth taking a photo of with my POWERFUL 2.0 MEGAPIXEL iPhone. Notice that the plate actually says “SONIC” and not “SON1C”, “S0NEC” or sOnIKZZORSzZ1!!1!!” This guy was clearly there from the beginning, and did not jump on the bandwagon with Shadow the Hedgehog” – Johnny.

    A SIDE NOTE REGARDING MANLINESS
    “On a side note, the car is a Commodore, the type driven by hard men who drink XXXX and work on construction sites. I took this photo while pretending to text so as to not be called a poofta by the owner. He wasn’t actually in the car, but there was still a chance he was somewhere around, hence the shaking hand.”

    Comments (7)