So what demographic is Nintendo after with this? The self-harming pretending-to-be-bisexual emo-neo-Goth demographic?

If MySpace had existed in 1991, this would’ve been its official photograph.

This is the caption in which we change our minds and declare the whole thing is actually an amazingly brilliant idea.

We can’t help but wonder who had sex with who after this shoot ended (the ginger man obviously just had a wank on his own).

Tom Nook is also implicated in the filthy child-trade ring. More on this as it breaks.

Watch it here. He looks like 50 people we know :(

TOMORROW: All the other video game-related Google Video/YouTube videos we’ve been sent over the last month.

Obviously written by a man, or at the very least heavily edited and made to make sense by one.

Melissa from GameLife ‘being dead’.

One of the more bizarre stalkings by our readers.

We emailed him back, suggesting this photo made the tattoo look like it was drawn on in pen. He then replied, saying the photo was taken on the day it was done, and it looks blotchy because of the scabs. Scabs are why we haven’t got any tattoos. He sent two more pictures in as further proof:

We HAVE to get one of Cream The Rabbit. HAVE TO NOW.

This is a booth babe. We spoke to her. We said “Can you pose with it?” and she said yes and did this. We walked away feeling 5 percent more dead inside, and 50 percent more erect. Women who do what they’re told are great.

This is the moron queue for the PlayStation3 Disappointment Adventure. People (ALL the people) were poking fun at PS3, openly mocking it’s shite games and idiotic management suits who are blind to the truth. The games are all dull sequels, as with PSP. It’s so going to be a disaster and we’ll be there to spunk on Sony’s gravestone when the bailiffs padlock the doors.

This is SEGA making PS3 look good. It feels wrong.

Some bloke with some tattoo of some game character. He’s rolled his sleeve up so everyone can see it. We can laugh now, but when we get Cream The Rabbit tattooed on next month we’ll be doing the same.

This is the obligatory picture of some fat fuck obsessing over a retro machine. We were shooting fish in a barrel out there. He’s taking a *photo* of it.

This is Nokia’s N-GAGE stand. It was always empty, which was great – if you needed to quickly walk from one place to another, you could cut through the N-GAGE bit.

Nokia spent the big bucks on some women. We didn’t speak to these ones, just pointed the camera at them and they did that hugging/smiling thing like perfectly trained sexy androids.

This fat man’s self-esteem was lowered further still by us following him, pointing and taking his photo. We ought to feel bad about that, but actually don’t! It’s another link in our chain for the afterlife, but was worth it.

Another woman, along with some men standing quite far away from her and taking photos *of* her without actually looking *at* her. That just about sums it up.

Silver The Hedgehog. Shadow was also there, but we just couldn’t look him in the eye.

The woman again. We’ve got 100s more of these, but they’re all this dull. Sorry about that. If we’re ever allowed out again after this, we’ll try harder.