Good lord, we’ve just achieved our first toy-triggered erection since we cuddled the Cream plush goodbye for the last time.

He is 15 inches tall, so would be a commanding presence on any middle-aged man’s mantelpiece. More stuff about it here.

This one’s quite grim. Blame a broken society, not us.

If only the general public had preferred the home conversion of Daytona USA to the home conversion of Ridge Racer.

We think Guinness has got confused about what constitutes a “World Record” and is actually producing something more akin to a List of Features, in chronological order in which they first appeared in video games.

Still no name tag. At least we now know she’s a Guinness employee and not a SEGA one.

SEGA has won an award! But only for doing its JOB. And for doing its job 17 years ago. Still, it’s something to put on the wall where all those Sonic posters used to be.

Can we have a certificate? Something like “Bravely not giving up in the face of overwhelming disinterest” would do.

She’s wisely covering her name badge.

How do you go about launching class action law suits for deliberately misleading corporate communications?

What it means is, a couple of its games are being resurrected to no doubt underachieve on a new format.

A man went to an outdoor marketing event to see some major brands in action. One of which was SEGA-related, as SEGA must still have a lot of these balloons leftover from when Sonic Adventure launched for the first time.

You’d think they would’ve perished in storage by now.

“Above-average Sonic balloon enjoying Little Boots at Isle of Wight Festival. Note crease between head and body for increased blue hedgehog fidelity. Taken with inherited Sony DSC-P10 with dodgy battery” – Gav.

From Ubisoft and Q Entertainment. Something that might be worth getting the cable that makes sound come out of our PC monitor as well as pictures.

Just let us be able to play it without having to use our biceps.

We’ve got an hour to go until dinner’s ready, so let’s LIVE BLOG the Nintendo conference for as long as our hearts can stand it.

We’ve already had enough.

NEW BLOG IDEA: Men who have bought new shirts especially to wear at important events.

Ten minutes of this. The crowd has long since been lost. Miyamoto’s controller isn’t working. This is the future of games and why we don’t currently have a plugged-in console.

LIVE BLOG ABORT.

You have to pity the “hardcore” Nintendo people in the crowd when stuff like this comes on. Do they show brand loyalty and cheer, or mock and jeer like they’ll be doing on internet forums via the hotel wi-fi after tonight’s wank marathon?

Now a man’s complaining about how much prescription glasses cost. He’s got a point.

Nervous Nintendo men about to get a go at standing near some ladies!

At least we didn’t form an inexplicable emotional attachment to Ubisoft in the 1990s, as things are much, much worse for Ubisoft followers today…

The highs weren’t as high for Ubisoft fans, but the current lows seems to be even lower. Image taken from the Ubisoft E3 press event – more pics here.

Time well spent. Hopefully she took regular dinner-making breaks.

More details on the Reddit thread. Submitted by finger-on-pulse reader “Lee”.