“I was at Taybarns tonight (a semi-posh all you can eat buffet type place) when I spotted an actual SEGA Vision, all wrapped up and pretty, within one of those ‘Pile Up’ machines where you have to stack little blocks to win. I don’t even think you can even buy one anywhere (although there is one on eBay at the moment for £80) so naturally I scared the children next to me by jumping up and down, screaming ‘It’s SEGA VISION!’ and managed to ‘discreetly’ take a few photos.”

“I only had my camera phone, so apologies for the crappy quality. I’ll try and go back there some time and take better pictures.”

“I also saw a picture of Sonic outside a car license plate shop, I’ll promise to take a picture and send that next time” – Tru.

“Susie? Can you wear something sexy tomorrow, love? We’ve got a photographer coming in. Those hotpants you wore last Friday would do. Ta, sweetheart” *A FAT MAN PATS SUSIE’S BOTTOM. SUSIE SMILES IN FEAR OF VIOLENCE OR LOSING HER JOB*

“Oh, and Susie? Can you meet me up in the stationary room in five? I need help with some… labels” *SUSIE SMILES AND NODS IN FEAR OF VIOLENCE OR LOSING HER JOB*

A shady past in internet pornography is nice, but not essential.

Then, when Nintendo reveals Wii 2 and its innovative rumbling d-pad for precise and reliable on-screen control, it’ll be back to the DualShock IV.

From another “Dan”. Dan seems to a more popular reader name that Chris these days. Must be a new wave of youth readers we’ve had come in since upping the amount of swearing and colours on the main page.

From someone who wants to be known as “DACHAZ”. It’s of a church somewhere.

From a man who wants to be called “Dreddnaught”. It’s something of his wife/girlfriend’s.

From a “Bob”. It’s one of those devices that lets you count down how many days you have to go until you’re allowed to rest peacefully for all eternity. A calendar.

From another “Dan” amazingly enough. It’s a carpet somewhere in Budapest. This is such a great photo it was very nearly spun-off into a separate update complete with East European cleaning staff friction burn sex fan fiction.

Promotional tat currently in the possession of a “Steve”.

From a “Chris” who would appear to be planning his return to the dating scene and is investigating ways to get his hair back to its former glory.

From a “Richard” who sent an extremely long and detailed explanation and several other photos. Thanks for all that, and sorry.

And finally, a return to an alternate “Chris” who will be attempting to numb whatever parts of his body are still capable of feeling pain with this tonight. Well done, everyone. It’s nice to know we have at least NINE entire readers left.

That’s your favourite band. You’ve got all their albums. You’ve even got a limited edition Japan-only CD that had two bonus remixes.

“I saw this SEGA prize machine on Clacton pier Sunday morning looking a bit sorry for itself. It was some kind of never-win-prize-grabby-claw machine with an error message. Poor thing probably didn’t know what is was or where it was… I called out for someone, anyone to help me as it lay dying in my arms but no-one came… no-one cared.”

“Not to worry though, I did in fact win a set of polyester dogs from the grab-a-ball-win-a-prize-nothing-to-do-with-SEGA-machine. Good weekend all round” – Andy.

Reader’s hand visible in reflection. If we zoom in and enhance the image, it might be possible to see what sort of camera – or more likely mobile phone – was used to capture the image.

Definitely a phone. The EXIF data just says “SAMSUNG”.

RELATED VIDEOS: Lucy Clarkson gave a boy a video card and probably an erection in the year 2000.

You wouldn’t need so much additional energy from sugar and caffeine if you weren’t lugging 75 additional pounds around with you everywhere.

Facial coverage should be complete by Q3.