She doesn’t mind a few bumps and bruises, so would fit in well around here.

Found here by a “Ricky Dee” who apologises if it’s old. She’s only 19, so it can’t be that old. We have underpants older than Miss Fairweather.

Cosplaying fan fiction artwork. It doesn’t get any more niche than this without there being penises and harnesses involved.

No idea how she got her head through that top. Must’ve been sewn into it. And those headphones must be custom built. Found on the internet by “Snozzeltoff” who said he was innocently “looking for a Space Channel 5 avatar picture”.

On the positive side, a man found the most INCREDIBLY GAY Sonic-branded leather jacket imaginable. If you were Mark Owen, in the year 1995, you might’ve been able to get away with wearing this in a Take That video.

“Hello again. I was the guy who made that Sega Arcade in Tokyo update. I have more hot Sega action, even though I’m back in the States.”

“This jacket had been on the rack at a store in Harajuku for about three months when I went there in August. I’m pretty sure it’s still there. I’m not going to apologize for not buying it, but keep in mind I weigh 50 kilos and look how badly it fits me. Also, I’m not going to apologize for the pictures being blurry because I didn’t take them. I’m sure you can still buy it (it’s one of a kind I’m sure) and say it’s for your girlfriend.”

“I also went back to the arcade from the original update and found it condemned” – Rudie.

At least it gave the world an exciting vision of the sort of fonts we may see on our buildings in some possible future.

Please stop emailing this in now. No we don’t smoke, but yes, we do like setting fire to things. Countryside hedgerows and the hair of women sitting in front of you on buses go up the best. Hedgerows burn nicest on crisp, dry autumn days, while hair is best freshly washed with a generous coating of hair spray to aid ignition.

We are only joking about the hair. No one ever sees the funny side of that. Hedgerows, however, are highly recommended.

Proper facts available on a proper web site. Better photos here.

Reader “Shine” said the funniest thing about them – “imagine dousing Sony HQ in petrol and then using one of these for the ‘coup de grace’.”

Not found in Japan – found in “Topman in Westfield London” by a man called “Iain”.

Iain said he couldn’t be bothered writing anything proper and that we should just make something up…

CREAM’S SEXY SHOPPING SPREE
By M. Zorg

“Come on now little lady, there’s no escaping it!” said the mummy rabbit, pulling her struggling daughter out from beneath her little wooden bed by grabbing her orange shoes and yanking her across the floor.

“But mommy! I really don’t need any new clothes!” blustered the little girl rabbit, her bottom lip poking out so far it surely must have stuck out further than her cute little nose.

Mommy, however, wasn’t taking no for an answer. Little Cream got through clothes like nobody’s business. Always out on some rough and tumble adventure with her friends, always coming home with something ripped, something torn to shreds or something bursting apart at the seams.

“Come on now, Cream, you can’t wear that dress any more. It’s ripped. Look, I can see your tummy through that hole!”

Mommy rabbit poked a soft, hairy finger at Cream’s midriff, pulling the ripped fabric aside to reveal her daughter’s downy little belly and sinewy muscles. You may even have got a quick glimpse of the top of her pants.

“And look at these things!” said mommy. “My, they’ve grown quickly. We’ll need to get you a proper bra now!”

****

“Hey Sonic! What are you doing here?!”

Sonic froze, then started speaking in hushed tones.

“Oh, er, just… just shopping for clothes” the blue hedgehog said, his pink face bit suddenly looking much redder than usual.

“Who are you here with?” asked Cream, holding up a pair of small white cotton panties against her slender frame to judge the fit.

“Oh… just some… friends…” Sonic said, as he shrunk away lower and lower, as if he was about to roll into a ball right there in the shopping centre.

“SONIIIIIIIIIIIC! Where are you? Why don’t you try these LOVELY UNDERPANTS on for me?” cackled an old woman – it was Sonic’s mum!

“Aw, mum, not now” mumbled the hedgehog.

“Yes, now! I’ve got to get home – it’s chilli dogs for tea! You like chilli dogs, don’t you? I know you do, now take these pants and try them on.

“Aw, mum, can’t I just play on the rides with Cream?”

Sonic’s mum was thoroughly fed up of her boy’s enthusiasm. She’d chased him all the way through the bakery section, run after him as he leapt from car-to-car in the car park, then had to apologise to astonished customers as he sprinted the wrong way up the downward escalators.

She grabbed Sonic by the neck with one hand, and carried him into the changing room.

“Cream, you go in there with him. Make sure he doesn’t run away. I’ll wait outside”

*****

“Can you, like, turn around, Cream?” Sonic asked, clearly not enjoying the claustrophoc atmosphere of the tiny changing room.

“What?! Why? You never usually wear clothes anyway, Sonic!” Cream laughed,

“Look, I’m not shy!”

Cream lifted her dress clean over her head.

“See?”

Sonic sighed and turned around, quickly pulling on the underpants that bore his name. The underpants were baggy enough that he didn’t have to take his shoes off, which was at least one good thing about this terrible situation. Sonic turned around.

“OK. Are these OK? Please say yes, then we can spilt this joint” Sonic asked Cream, trying desperately to maintain eye contact and not to look at her nakedness.

“Gee, Sonic, those pants are no good – they’ve got a hole in the front of them – look!”

Cream grabbed the front of Sonic’s Sonic underpants and gestured to the seam.

Sonic started mumbling… “I think that’s supposed to be there, it’s so you can…”

“I can practically fit my whole hand through that gap!” she exclaimed, getting more and more enthusiastic, probably because the thrill of getting caught was turning her on.

This should probably be The End now, before their mums appear and join in.

29-year-old Michael Higgins staged a fake public hanging of his favourite old video game toys over the weekend, in a ritual designed to stop himself being such a loser and to “move on”.

Michael hopes the move might also lead to him being able to get a girlfriend. He just needs to get a new duvet cover now.

“Thought I’d send you this pic for when you don’t have anything more interesting to post. It’s of a stall in Blackpool opposite the Ghost Train. The picture is of Tails, Yoshi, Sonic and Mario giant cuddly toys, which I assume are some prize for hooking a duck, or some other game of skill and cunning. If you look carefully you can see the huge spider webs on Tails and Yoshi perhaps indicating the amount of time they’ve been hanging there. I’ve uploaded the unaltered, full resolution image onto allyoucanupload incase your crappy hotmail account falls over and dies from the massive 2.5Mb file” – Phil.

Imagine that. Another new Dreamcast game is about to come out. We could roll back the years and do a review of it, if the Dreamcast has survived the hell of being in the loft for the last 18 months, and if the VGA box is in the place where the VGA box logically ought to be (cables bag #2).

The game doesn’t appear to be pushing the hardware to its limits. You could, therefore, say that Dreamcast is still to peak.

“With its 2D graphics and old school gameplay, Rush Rush Rally Racing is absolutely nothing like Gran Turismo, so you might actually like it. Also please know that if the sky were visible in this game, it would most assuredly be blue” – Roel van Mastbergen, Senile Team.

You may order the “Deluxe Edition” from an online shop for a bit over 20 quid. There’s nothing in it for us if you do. This is just a bit of community service, like we’re all still friends.

SEGA is giving away a “free” (TERMS AND CONDITIONS APPLY) controller to people who sign up to its PlaySEGA VIP area. The controller’s shape may trigger a happy memory of playing X-Men vs. Street Fighter or Sonic R. It is a shape SEGA owns the rights to make things in the shape of.

Hopefully that “PLAY” bit can be easily peeled off.

We did some RESEARCH! A three month subscription is £12.99 and if you want the “free” USB Saturn-alike controller that’s an extra £2.99 in postage. So you’re basically paying £15.98 for the controller and right to play some games in a web-based emulator. That’s not bad for a piece of SEGA hardware. Thanks to “Martin” for sending this news in via a popular social networking tool.

Looks like we’re back in poo-based fan fiction territory.

“Hi, thought you might like some snaps of this year’s visit to Tokyo. It would make a perfect half-hearted update.”

“One day we found this Joypolis in Odaiba.”

“As you may see, the SEGA brand is no longer the draw it once was. The place was nearly empty, apart from a few Japanese who looked lost and confused.”

“Inside was not much better, only saved by some kids who were bunking off school to play the latest Rambo game.”

“There was a general lack of SEGA-ness to the whole affair, to be honest. Apart from Sonic selling-out by endorsing Hello Kitty UFO catchers.”

“All was not lost however, as we spent a good hour trying to find all the secret pods where you would get stamps of all your favourite Sonic characters (and Shadow). I’m 25 years old by the way.” – Matthew.

Or will it just be like a fan project off the internet, seeing as no one good’s left at SEGA Japan any more and this is probably being developed in a portakabin somewhere in the USA anyway?

That’s “Project Needlemouse” the 2D/HD new Sonic game due in 2010. We’re prepared to go out on a limb and predict we’ll be giving it a sympathetic 2 more out of 10 than it deserves next year.