HAIRY MAN 0/10.

“My missus (honest) was watching EastEnders yesterday and about 02:00 in you can see the Dreamcast logo on the cups in the Trumans’ household (my other half told me the name of them, honest again!)” – Azza, London.

“Just goes to show that the guys at the BBC haven’t given up on SEGA and neither should we! Shine on you crazy Hedgehog!” – Hollywooda.

You can be serious. It doesn’t have to be Blaze Fielding sucking Ryo Hazuki’s cock, although that would probably get linked to by Kotaku so if you have the art skills and time…

You probably won’t be able to beat this, mind.

The SEGA font’s a bit hackneyed, to be honest.

You can email them to ukresistance@hotmail.com, or put them in the comments or whatever. How you submit them isn’t part of the competition. Just don’t turn up at the house with them drawn over the welcome page of an old copy of SEGA Saturn Magazine.

We’d also accept £17k off Sony’s marketing division to make it Sackboy for two months or 500k page impressions. The money would be spent on registering the domain name and buying web space for the next ONE THOUSAND YEARS.

Or this, with Jacques walking past and the sign saying something about suicide rates?

“Quite how it happened I’m not sure. But if anything’s going to sell a Daily Mail it’s going to be the bit that says “You can WIN a Sega Megadrive! It’s a shame that they put PS3 at the top of the list, though. So I like to think that the list is actually a countdown, with the most popular consoles coming towards the bottom of the list. If you imagine Bruno Brooks reading the list, it makes a lot more sense.”

“In case you’re all about to rush out and pick up a Mail (it’s an ongoing compo, and although I haven’t checked, it’s probably on today’s too.) be aware that it’s not REALLY a Megadrive. It’s one of those pansy-assed Blaze Plug’n’Play doohickeys. Still, you can get one free from them, if you collect all 90 tokens! Sorry I sent this two days late, but I forgot the picture was in my phone” – Jayenkai.

Honestly. What sort of joke is this? Never before have we felt so justified in typing an emoticon instead of a proper sentence :(

We need to send out the message that even a poorly-cut-out GIF of Adam Doree would be preferable to being associated with Sonic in his current state.

It’s called Gabo. It’s the impenetrable new work from the creator of Seaman. It has a hairy naked Neanderthal in it. A person who knows more about the game can be found here, if you’re open to the idea of using a phone for gaming and Apple getting even more powerful.

“The first photo shows the entrance to the aforementioned Park. You will no doubt notice that the place was totally empty despite there being a multitude of Outruns, Dance Dance Revolutions and the one with the naked, bald man. Where were all the ASBO kids that call Southampton their weekend home, I hear you ask? Probably out shooting up, I imagine. Shooting up being a poor alternative to a marathon session on Columns. Anyway, that is not so important right now. What is important to me is the fact that the SEGA logo font seems to extend to letters other than just S, E, G, and A. Where can I get hold of this font? And why is it not available on MS Word? Damn you Helvetica!”

“The second photo shows the interior of our beloved SEGA Park. You’ll notice that there is actually someone other than me in the building. Now, call me a cynic, but I don’t think he’s in there to play Bongo Jungle. I reckon he’s more likely to have wandered in off the street looking for somewhere warm to live. Or maybe he is the manager. Seriously, who knows? But if he is, then he really needs to do something about the carpet as it looks like one of those Magic Eye things from back when SEGA was still great. I left soon after taking this photo. But not before playing Outrun and getting beaten by my girlfriend. Oh, how times have changed. Cheers” – Atour.

A clingy man-made fibre-assisted 10/10.

“A freebie given to me by a local game shop. Whether or not the chocolates are edible is another question. Feel free to post this photo up. And have a great Xmas this year :)” – Adam.

“Instant update material. Two-updates-in-one-day justification. This mint condition SONIC CHRISTMAS ADVENT CALENDAR came in a protected cardboard box with review copies of Sonic Unleashed today. I won’t be opening any of the doors but instead keeping it sealed away safely forever and making sure no fingerprints spoil it” – Adam Doree.

“I was having a clear out of my spare room and was understandably excited to unearth this SEGA fashion item from one of my drawers. This brought the memories back of my visit to SEGAWORLD London. I was supposed to be visiting the Tate Gallery on a college trip but of course I was out of there as soon as I could and straight down to the Trocadero.”

“I remember visiting the then-impressive gift shop and picking up this beautiful item. I’m not sure why really, as I must’ve only worn it a handful of times back in the day, before it was resigned to a forgotten drawer in my spare room. Surprisingly it still just about fits me, but I’m not sure it would be suitable wear for a Saturday night drinking session? Hope you enjoy these pics” – Paul.

From our brief foray into merchandise production, we know this is a quality piece. Embroidered logos cost more per unit. SEGAWORLD was therefore a place that cared more about user happiness and quality than profits. Which must be why it’s closed now.

And it’s ideal for a Saturday night drinking session if you’re a SEGA fan, as you could easily wear it to bed once you’ve turned the TV off.