The kids are mad for it. Its simple spiral shape makes it simple for even the most retarded drop-out to successfully apply to the burned-out shops of the local area.

“Keeping up the Leicester theme, after your Rushey Mead school expose, here’s some nice Dreamcast propaganda spotted there the other day. Take your pick of the two pictures.”

“I sent both because I thought that one had that nice urban decay vibe going on, but the other was a better shot of the lovely blue SEGA sky – C.”

Sorry about this. This is the last one (of two) we have in the area of infant-related photography.

“As if it wasn’t bad enough that I am now obsessed with seeing faces in inanimate objects, the other night I spotted what can only be described as an early effort to brainwash our children from Dr Robotnik himself.”

“My two-year-old was shovelling wads of my money into his word hole when I noticed this thing of beauty nestled amongst the frankly revolting graphics of his high chair – Toby.”

There’s nothing funnier than a series of images that zoom increasingly close to the subject matter.

Kicking off a new series we’re calling ‘Things that Sega are making instead of Dreamcast 2’ is:

Some stupid gay dog that does hand stands:

His name is Lucky. Lucky is a stupid name. Only stupid things are called Lucky. Lucky is a cat’s name at best. A stupid cat’s name. I knew someone who had a cat calld Lucky. The daft thing was always getting run over. It’s dead now. That’ll learn it.
Here’s a video. The best bit is when the woman tells them to do a hand stand and two of them smash their stupid little faces on the table. One appears to actually fall backwards. It probably dies.

Well done Sega. Don’t bother with Shenmue 3. Just keep spunking money away on things like this instead.

This is what we did between bouts of staring at the wall and staring at the ceiling.

This thing about Ryu Hyabusa toys. The only kind of toys it’s OK to still like when you’re as old as we are.

This thing about Miss World, because Miss Venezuela is much better for wanking over than a toy of a computer generated ninja.

This thing about THE MAN crushing the dreams of children and sneaky dads.

This thing about a wanking device.

This thing about plastic monstrosities for men who have given up hope of ever getting a woman to come inside their houses.

This thing about women standing in a line, because you can’t not use pictures like this when they come along:

Done in a hurry. Mostly OK. Probably won’t get disciplined about any of it. 6/10.

We suspect this was sent in as a bet. A dare, if you will, a dare to see if we would really post something as dull as a series of photos of a SEGA Master System Converter II.

WE WIN!

“A few weeks ago I bought a SEGA Master System Converter II on ebay. During the long search for one such adapter however I noticed that not only is this useful device quite rare, but pictures of it on the internet are very few as well!”

“Starting a Google image search with the terms “Master System Converter II” will give you the first useful picture on page FOUR! Feeling that something must be done about this lack of images and remembering your article full of glorious Sonic CD screenshots created for the same purpose, I took my (parents’) digital camera and took photos of the converter from each possible angle.”

“I even included a shot with the underrated Sonic Chaos inserted in the top, and one with the miraculous portal to the past sitting on top of my MDII+MCDII combo (with a not visible Japanese Sonic CD in the CD drive)! (If you’re wondering why there is no 32X, it should be well on the way somewhere on the Atlantic ocean right now as I ordered one from Canada a few weeks ago.)”

“It also should be pointed out that SEGA, in its caring way, had the brilliant idea of adding a small shutter to the top of the adapter to ensure that the machine’s inner contacts don’t get dusty! How nice, isn’t it? Sincerely, P.P.A. (from Germany).”

“PS: Next time I shall reveal the answer to what I’m sure every UKR reader has always been asking: Will the Master System Converter II work with a 32X in-between it and the console? Stay tuned!”

Lovely. Thanks. Now, does someone want to take on the mantle of doing the Mega CD properly? You wouldn’t believe the man-hours we’ve put in over the years trying to find a hi-res photo of one of those.

And a professionally-lit PAL Mega Drive series would also be handy, should anyone have a dust-free boxed example and access to a studio. Hi-res TIFFs, please. You would achieve Google Images fame for eternity.

A reader found evidence of Atari’s early technological brilliance.

Something else for Phil Harrison to claim he invented, around 20 years from now.

Pretty much just stolen from Arcade Flyers.

Of particular note is the pair of French tourists in the background, worrying about if they should intervene in some way or just pretend not to have seen.

If it was Knuckles, we’d be worried.

A magazine publisher has decided to make a magazine especially for MMO game players. A print-based magazine for the most online and connected people in the world. Voids are often there for a reason.

Massive Gamer Magazine Unleashes First Issue

New Monthly Periodical Exclusively Covers Massively Multiplayer Online PC Games

ST LOUIS, MO — July 22nd, 2008 – A seismic shock has impacted the world of editorial media covering interactive entertainment. Massive Gamer, Inc. is proud to announce the launch of Massive Gamer magazine, a monthly print publication focusing exclusively on massively multiplayer games for the PC. As the multi-billion massively multiplayer (MMOG) business continues to grow and become a part of mainstream popular entertainment, Massive Gamer aims to reflect the breadth and depth of the MMOG development, business and culture as no other website and print publication has ever done before.

The first issue of Massive Gamer magazine (August 2008) is available at newsstands for the cover price of $6.99, and online for subscription at the low introductory rate of $24.99.

Weighing in at 88 pages, the first issue of Massive Gamer magazine highlights Funcom’s popular Age of Conan MMOG on the cover, and features articles delving into Cryptic Studio’s Champions Online, Turbine Inc’s. Lord of the Rings: Mines of Moria expansion, EA/Mythic’s Warhammer update, and much more.

Regular columns will include letters from the editor, staff editorials, a calendar of upcoming game releases and industry events, as well as MMOG launches, guild features, serialized fiction, news from the business world, and more.

“Massive Gamer addresses a unique void in the print media space, when it comes to editorially covering massively multiplayer online games and virtual worlds. MMOG players have their own jargon, their own community, and their own informational needs that a one-size-fits-all publication cannot completely fill nor understand,” says Jodie McIntyre, CEO and Founder of Massive Gamer, Inc. “This publication will also be unique because we will look at more than the largest and most popular MMOGs. The MMOG development community is filled with innovators and entrepreneurs from around the world – and we cannot wait to share many of their stories with our audience.”

Massive Gamer magazine will be accompanied by a website launch, featuring fresh MMOG industry news and community feedback. The website and information about the magazine can be found at http://www.massivegamer.com. A bi-weekly newsletter will offer opt-in subscribers the chance to have the latest happenings in the world of MMOGs and Massive Gamer delivered to their e-mail inboxes.

Inside Massive Gamer magazine Issue #1:

Cover Features

Age of Conan: Hype vs. Hope
By the Massive Gamer team

DC Universe Online: Super-Batty Goodness!
By Linda “Brasse” Carlson

Life at Level 80 in Age of Conan
By Ryan “Volt” Sutherland

Fractured Planes
By Christine Rafe

Features

Age of Conan
Conqueror Class Review
By Pike “Ithkrul” Pullen

Guardian Class Review
By Chad “Clams” Mocha

Demonologist Class Review
By Ron “Zeckle” Hunt

Tempest of Set Class Review
By Lynn “Cesara” Kraczek

Cryptic Studios
Champions Online: From PnP to MMOG
By Linda “Brasse” Carlson

Cartoon Network
Fusion Fall Update
By Paul Philleo

Turbine
Lord of the Rings: Mines of Moria – The path to Moria is fraught with danger, evil and… mini games?
By Linda “Brasse” Carlson

EA / Mythic
Warhammer Update
By Mike “Exe” Doughtery

Sony Online Entertainment
The Agency: FPS or MMO? If we tell you, we’ll have to kill you.
By Linda “Brasse” Carlson

Everquest II: Living Legacy Program
By Linda “Brasse” Carlson

Blizzard
World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King Update
By Mike “Exe” Dougherty

G4Box
Metin 2: Jam Packed with Content – and it’s FREE!
By Lynn “Cesara” Kraczek

CCP
Eve Online: The Empyrean Age
By Marcin “DeepNoizer” Nowak

Insider’s Look

Tales from the Trenches: Community Management
By Linda “Brasse” Carlson

Entropia
By John Bates, Entropia Universe

About Massive Gamer, Inc.
Massive Gamer Inc., (http://www.massivegamer.com), is the St. Louis area-based publisher of Massive Gamer magazine, founded by Jodie McIntyre, owner of the respected editorial website MPOGD.com, which covers multiplayer online games.

Massive Gamer magazine embodies the ideals of editorial integrity while covering the broad spectrum of massively multiplayer online entertainment on the PC platform. The Massive Gamer magazine staff is diverse, like the industry itself, including talented writers, experienced business veterans, and hardcore gamers.

NEXT MONTH: Slightly different features about all of the same games.

This artwork has remained hidden for over a decade! It was created by the pupils of a school, in about 1993, and was the result of the kids being allowed to create a mural based around “issues” they deemed “important” at the time.

FROM A TEACHER, AN IT CONSULTANT, OR A CLEANER: “I found a startling mural whilst wandering through my place of work.”

“Dated 1992-1993 it depicts the burning issues of the day as perceived by a group of ‘Year 8’ (whatever that means) schoolchildren, as well as selected highpoints from human culture and the natural world through the ages. Amongst other wonders, you will see dinosaurs and sea creatures battling in the lower half, and the Statue of Liberty, Taj Mahal and an Egyptian sarcophagus in the upper.”

“But most interesting is that the piece is centred upon a vignette of Sonic versus Mario – or rather Sonic V’s Mario. (Stupid children, marks deducted, there is no apostrophe in ‘vs’!) Mario looks like he’s gearing up to sledge Sonic in the kisser, while Sonic looks out at the viewer with the casual air of one who knows that superior speed will always win out. Between them a red road stretches off to infinity, signifying something quite important no doubt.”

“I hope you enjoy these images from an earlier, more innocent age, when children learnt what was of real value rather than having their heads filled with nonsense like recycling, ‘the respect agenda’ and how to handle oneself in a knife fight.”

“I wonder what became of the class of ’93? Yours sincerely, Simon.”

“PS: The foliage has overgrown from some potted plants nearby – a sad indictment of neglect.”

Would it be inappropriate for us to request some photos of… yes. Yes it would. Never mind. Forget about it.

We are under no contractual obligation to do this, just in case you were wondering.

This thing about how terribly rubbish Google Knol appears.

This thing about some videos, in a list, because that’s easier for all concerned.

This thing about Jeff Minter’s descent into (further, deeper) madness.

This thing about what happens on the internet around the world 10000 times a second.

This thing about a “Robot Doctor” that’s clearly rubbish and is made out of Meccano and a broken old Dell.

This thing about the some women holding a telephone and what they have to do to get it for free, because you can’t not use pictures like this when they come along:

Only 4/10, as that photograph makes us sad about the state of our teeth, hair, chest and four-year-old “handset.”