Entries in the ‘PROMOTIONAL IMAGES’ Category:

HIGH-RESOLUTION PHOTOS OF “THE SATURDAYS” PLAYING “BAND HERO” FOR MONEY AND THE PRECIOUS OXYGEN OF PUBLICITY

They are girls, they are near a game. We are allowed, so let’s go.

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We have reached the age where women like this all look the same. That could be the new Sugababes for all we know. Or they could be the new Blue Peter presenters. They all have the same faces painted on them and do the same wide-eyed, trying-to-be-sexy-but-not-too-sexy expressions.

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The best thing Girls Aloud did was put the odd ginger one in, so you could at least tell Girls Aloud apart from all the other products which feature same-women dancing in a line.

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They play all their own instruments. Incidentally, if you are involved in the “live blogging” of X Factor in any way, you are a bit of an idiot. You used to be able to avoid shit telly by not watching it – now you can’t even retreat to the internet without getting bombarded by commentary on Simon Cowell’s 90-minute TV commercial for his bands. If you watch X Factor, you’re getting excited about an advert, basically.

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BAND HERO: No thanks, it’s just another plastic toy for people that weren’t good enough at games to like Frequency.

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“… AND PUT A GUITAR ON THE SOFA”

For the love of god. Are we really meant to believe that our SHOE-COVERED FEET are capable of playing a video game with anything like the same level of precision and satisfaction as our fingers?

When will it END?

thrustmaster

At least they’re “keeping it a bit real” by plugging the stupid console in.

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THERE WAS A PHOTOGRAPHER IN ATTENDANCE AT THE DS CHRISTMAS CAROL / SUZANNE SHAW EVENT

But there was a terrible WARDROBE MALFUNCTION – Suzanne’s stupid period dress was too long to see her shoes, ankles or calves.

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We shouldn’t really give this sort shabby work the oxygen of publicity.

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Who on earth gets a celebrity in then puts them in clothes where you can’t see anything? We hate to demand sackings, but in this case there’s simply no other option.

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Suzanne Shaw must be really easy to hire.

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A few hundred quid for the afternoon and a taxi home?

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Maybe if we organise a whip-round.

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Everyone who contributes gets to stand next to her for 30 seconds. The largest donor gets to ask a question. That’s probably what happened here.

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IS IT POSSIBLE TO BE AROUSED WHILE THINKING ABOUT SICK CHILDREN?

Like Christina Aguilera in ‘Genie in a Bottle’, our body is saying LET’S GO, but our heart is saying NO – IT’S FOR SICK CHILDREN. YOU CAN’T GET AN ERECTION OVER LIZ MCLARNON’S SHOES BECAUSE IT’S A CHARITY GAMING EVENT FOR SICK CHILDREN.

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Sent in by “Lewie”. Lewie said there would be “something comically tragic about playing Zuma’s Revenge with Sooty and Sweep” but we haven’t played Zuma’s Revenge so don’t know if that’s a good thing to say or not.

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Left half of brain can concentrate on Liz’s lovely shoes [SCROLL DOWN!], while the right half of the brain can think about sick children and how lucky we all are not to be in hospital under heavy sedation looking at drawings of Disney characters on the ceiling while waiting for a compatible liver to become available.

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She just met him in a pub, and now they’re sharing a taxi home a mere 45 minutes later? The dirty cow.

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Nice shoes. Specialist shoes. She would be more than welcome to inflict some serious damage to our scrotums with those heels.

Here’s the press release including the list of, er, motorway service stations where Liz will be appearing.

LIZ MCCLARNON LAUNCHES ‘POPCAP CELEBRITY PLAY-OFFS’ IN AID OF BBC CHILDREN IN NEED 2009

Singer and former Atomic Kitten turned celebrity chef Liz McClarnon was at Tower Bridge, London yesterday to cuddle up with Pudsey Bear for the launch of the PopCap Celebrity Play-offs in association with Welcome Break – a national fundraising tour in aid of BBC Children in Need 2009.

Liz and Pudsey climbed aboard an iconic London cab to get the UK tour on the road. The PopCap Celebrity Play-offs tour will get the nation gaming with a fun-packed party bus, which will roll into Welcome Break locations nationally. On board, Pudsey will be joined by celebrities who will challenge members of the great British public to beat their score on the latest hit game from PopCap.com, Zuma’s Revenge! – while also raising valuable funds for BBC Children in Need 2009.

Hopping aboard from Sunday 25 October to Sunday 1 November to try their luck in the PopCap Celebrity Playoffs will be TMI TV presenters Sam and Mark, Casualty star James Redmond and national TV treasures Sooty & Sweep – with lots of surprise stars along the way. The tour will stop off at Welcome Break locations in Cardiff, Bristol, Birmingham, Keele, Leicester, Sheffield and Huddersfield.

[Read the rest of this entry…]

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THERE WAS A PHOTOGRAPHER IN ATTENDANCE

Didn’t get any blurry mobile phone photos from any of you lot. Thanks. We know where we stand now.

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Thankfully, a proper man was there with a proper camera.

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He was able to go quite close to her, so must’ve looked safe and trustworthy.

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He even took several photographs where she clearly consented to being photographed.

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Her outfit is, to be frank, a disappointment. There’s a knee, but it’s well covered. That’s of no use.

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As are the faces of the civilians.

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Would, until her teeth fell out.

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We were all that comfortable in the presence of women once.

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The publicity man said there were more photographs, but we’re a bit embarrassed about asking for them. He’s bound to guess the ulterior motive.

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NANO-LEVEL HIGH-RES LARA WOMAN PHOTOGRAPHY

Found these. Do not know if they are new or old. They must be quite new, as cameras have only recently been able to take photos this big. Can’t remember her name any more, either.

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OK. Can remember her name again. Alison Carroll. Well done whoever cleverly renamed the image files “Alison_Carroll-UHQ_Pictures_001.jpg” and so on, so future generations of Google Image Search-ers know what she was called and who to look for more of.

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Carroll with two Rs.

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Just to warn you – this photoshoot includes a great costume change. She will soon be wearing less. They are about to wander off message.

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Do not know who the original copyright holder is or where they came from.

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Do not care. They’re here now. That’s what matters.

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They might not be new, but they’re about to become used.

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Is this costume part of the Tomb Raider “canon”?

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She’s a representative of a video game character. This is allowed. This is fine. This is just what we all do.

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CAN WE HAVE A LOWER-RESOLUTION VERSION OF THIS, PLEASE?

About the size of a postage stamp would be more acceptable.

dragoncon

Taken at something no one needs to know about.

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ONE GOOD THING ABOUT THIS STUPID NEW FITNESS GAME CRAZE

When we’re caught with a high-resolution photograph of a woman in athletic clothing on the computer, we can honestly get away with saying it’s for work.

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That’s Julie Seymour. We’re not suggesting she’s remarkable enough to try and track down via various social networking sites, but knowing their names does make it all seem a bit more realistic. Julie’s game is called “NewU Fitness First Personal Trainer”. We wish we “knew her” in the biblical sense.

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“Nell McAndrew’s Body Fitness” is several magnitudes more disappointing. And it depends what you classify as exercise, Nell.

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PSP LIFESTYLE PHOTO STOCK CLEARANCE #9

Last ones of these. We were saving this lovely pair as some sort of grand finale, but forgot and now the moment is gone.

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If you happen to be a mugger and a rapist, this is pretty much the dream.

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“Why is her MP3 player so much┬ásmaller┬áthan mine?”

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TONY HAWK RIDE “LIFESTYLE” PHOTOGRAPHY!

Cash-rich mega-publisher Activision has decided that youths and grown-ups being near its equipment is a good idea. In the case of Tony Hawk Ride, it is certainly a better idea than the actual product.

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Let’s all just agree that the Tony Hawk series – and video games in general – peaked at around the period Tony Hawk 3 came out.

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“I paid HOW MUCH for this SHIT?”

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Since then, it’s been downhill all the way.

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Having a bit of plastic does not make the game more fun.

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It may make the game a better Christmas present for a friend or relative due to coming in a bigger and therefore more exciting box, but it does nothing for the experience.

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This must be the other corner of the room that family is in. You’d think the family would be a bit too old to be living in a flatshare with some teenagers.

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Hopefully Activision is preparing some LIFESTYLE photography to go with DJ Hero.

Comments (23)