We don’t believe anything actually “leaks” these days, apart from our [GRAPHIC MEDICAL REFERENCE DELETED], but blue-themed blog Sonic Stadium is currently linking to the entire soundtrack of Sonic 4 – which has, apparently, leaked.

The music files are on the internet here, if you’ve got nothing better to do than listen to Sonic music for the next 20 minutes while Googling “Train2Game” to see if anyone else has slagged them off today [NO THAT’S PROBABLY JUST ME].

Here’s a slightly related bonus piece from the THE GREATEST SONIC THE HEDGEHOG DESKTOP IMAGES IN THE WORLD series to illustrate this glorious update. We could’ve just used a screen capture of the sites in question, but went the extra mile.

WARNING: Scenes of student hijinks.

WARNING: Scenes of men in tights.

WARNING: Scenes of young people having fun that may trigger middle-aged angst and feelings of worthlessness.

WARNING: Scenes of men being comfortable in the presence of women that may trigger middle-aged angst and feelings of worthlessness.

“I play for the University of Manchester ‘Korfball team’ – (it’s a Dutch mixed-sex sport that is kind of like volleyball). We take our sport Very seriously and as a result have various drinking socials throughout the weeks. We decided for our most recent to dress up as something everyone loves… Sonic!”

“Using the best costume accessories for under £10 from Primark we came up with some pretty awesome and horrific efforts.”

“I am enclosing some of the least criminal or offensive photos from the night that I have grabbed of Facebook!” – Nick.

REASON FOR SALE: “My reason for sale is that I don’t use it much nowadays to be honest, and the space it takes up in my garage would be better used in other ways now. I never thought I’d sell it which is why I spent so much money and so many hours making it this nice, but things change”

That is not a good enough reason. How can you have one, then let it go? What’s better to do in a garage than play Daytona USA for free? The only thing we can think of is starting up your own methamphetamine factory.

There are still three days to go on the auction. We expect an email and photographic report from the eventual buyer.

Glen found this. This magazine has been in his possession for many years, yet has only recently been rediscovered following what would appear to be a bit of a clear-out and, perhaps, some sort of life-reappraisal.

“On the reverse side is a poster of Ulala that has been on my wall. Then it was under my bed for a while. Then just the other day I moved my bed for the first time in a long time. And then I had to find my camera” – Glen.

We can only imagine with horror what other items were lurking beneath Glen’s bed.

A sock.

Maybe an old t-shirt.

Possibly, for comic effect, it may have been better to end on a close-up of whatever that Mickey Mouse-like thing is, rather than the bottom.

Can’t help it. This DOES look good. Doesn’t it? Surely we’re detached enough from SEGA these days to be able to judge things objectively?

Some words here and the rest of the shots here. We’re not risking exclamation marks until we play the thing, though. We’re still mentally fragile and can’t risk getting hurt again.

By “low signal” we think she might mean a limp penis, and by “weak batteries” we think she might also mean a limp penis.

Taken from the profile of “SexyNative” over on bizarre “gaming dating” site GameCrush. We assume she’s attempting to associate penile penetration with video gaming there, ie, she might be available for paid sex once you’ve beaten her 20-0 in Halo 3 and got your confidence up.

Here’s another update from “Glen”. Glen has the uncanny knack of finding things that are interesting, but never quite interesting enough to do as soon as he sends them in. We currently have three Glen-submitted draft updates ready for NEWS EMERGENCY days like today.

“This is from New Zealand’s equivalent of ebay, a site called Trade Me. I think the seller has carefully thought about the common practice of calling shit games *rare* and taken it to the next level – ‘You are bidding on a classic game and TV Show!!!!!!’. It was clearly this evolution in sales tactics that has lead to the 12+ views the auction has already received! I’m pretty sure I was taught in my English class that the more exclamation marks you use, the more excited you sound. Hence I shall end this communication with a full stop” – Glen.

Wouldn’t mind one of those basketballs for a birthday, if you’re reading this in your riverside apartment MR NICE SUGAR DADDY.

And a hammer, although it looks like you’d struggle to inflict any meaningful damage with that. You’d probably have to hold the hammer’s head and use the shaft as a poking weapon and then strangle them with the cord. Offer ends 31 March, so get in there quick.

This is like us going berserk over Dutch Elm Disease being allowed to rampage unchecked throughout the UK in the 60s and 70s, then going on television and trying to blame it all on Judy Finnigan.

Madness.

Link taken from RPS. And we thought Alan was such a nice man.

Bollocks :(

From Next, here. Imagine how great it would be to be between 3-12 years again and not be burdened with the need to always say something ironic in a caption beneath every photograph.

The slippers appear surprisingly comfortable and well crafted.