“About two or three months ago now I was at a Scottish music festival when my girlfriend spotted this guy and said ‘Take a photo and send it to UK:R but make sure you tell them I spotted it’.”

“I’d kind of forgotten about these photos as I was in ‘a state’ but I did go and shake the gent by the hand problably drunkenly saying ‘cool bag’ or similar. Anyway, goes to show that SEGA fans like the outdoor music scene as much as the next man and my girlfriend thinks about UK:R a wee bit too much – Robbie.”

Yes. There you go. It’s less. PS3 sold 66,000 less/fewer units this January than last January. So, the ten year plan for PS3 was to have sales peak in year two, then have the business gradually run down to zero over the remaining eight?

Sounds like a good plan to us. Figures, as ever, from GAF.

“I was clearing out my under-stairs cupboard last Sunday, (with a view to attaching some arris rail to stop the treads from creaking) and whilst doing so I came across this CD single from the early ’90s. It’s by a band called “Hedgehogs With Attitude” and although the track is mostly complete and utter bobbins, they have thankfully kept the melody from Green Hill Zone in the chorus” – Hampton.

OR JUST STEAL IT: If you want to just steal it, like in the good old days, the file’s here. We are not particularly concerned about being made to take this down. We doubt any record company would want to publicly claim ownership of this material.

“Hampton” also said he remembered seeing HWA on Top of the Pops.

This was sent in by “Will”. It’s from Zelda. It means something like Dreamcast 2 is coming and SEGA’s going to buy Nintendo with all the money it’s made from doing Sonic & Mario.

This is from one of our 2.7 million readers called “Chris”. It’s of a Dreamcast logo on a man’s URBAN VEST JUMPER COAT HYBRID, as featured on a web site for Sony’s ultra-poor Rolly MP3-playing robot twat. It means that SEGA is buying Sony with all the money it’s made from doing Sonic & Mario and basing Dreamcast 2 around the Cell architecture.

This is from “Joe”. It’s of a lamp. This means SEGA will be exclusively marketing and releasing Dreamcast 2 through IKEA.

This is from “Sam”. It’s something he saw in Costa Coffee. This means Sam has yet to be impacted upon by the credit crunch and still thinks spending £2.55 on a cup of coffee and a further £3.75 on a toasted ciabatta is an acceptable way to behave.

This is from “Waqas”. It’s of some bins. Waqas needs to get a new phone with a better camera VERY URGENTLY.

This is from “Tim”. He spotted it during Doctor Who. The golden era of when Billie Piper was in it.

Tim wisely supplied a close-up of Billie’s face. If you want a nice, hi-res promotional photo of Billie Piper, there’s one here – we obtained it under slightly false pretences by pretending it was for illustrating proper news.

Actually there were only two. Could’ve sworn there were three.

This one’s best. We usually like to save the best one for last, but thought we’d BUST convention and just go for it. You only live once. Fuck it. FUCK IT! Let’s put the best picture up FIRST!

Not that any of them are what you’d call shabby.

Sent in by “Rory” who says he got them off a site called WENN.

We think you’re supposed to pay for photos from WENN, which adds a thrilling element of theft to these already-quite-thrilling photos.

If WENN gets in touch and asks us to take them down we’ll ignore the email. We’re not losing these.

We still saved a pretty good one for last.

Disgustingly smudged screen. This is why women shouldn’t be allowed to have expensive technology. They get Vaseline over EVERYTHING.

Have you ever used a computer after a woman? The mouse always smells of flowers, there are greasy thumb marks on the space bar and what looks like specks of yogurt on the screen.

For the first two years, all new household gadgets must be exclusively used by the male in the house. Only then, when they’re already a bit grimy, can women be allowed to get hand cream and assorted moisturisers all over them.

She’s holding up well, isn’t she? That looks like a proper, genuine smile, not the sort of fake, lifeless dead-eyed grin we’ve come to associate with people who work full-time within the video game industry.

Right. That’s it. You’ve had TWO porn updates in a row, now. So tomorrow it’s spiral time. More spirals that you can possibly imagine. Spiral curtains. Spiral mugs. Spiral lamps. That’s the deal.

The ladies are having promotional fun because of We Cheer, a game for Wii. Wii is the hot new games machine that everyone is buying and playing for about 35 minutes before packing it away until next Christmas.

Finally, Wii developers have stopped targeting women and children and started targeting pathetic lonely men unable to effectively communicate with real women.

There were six photographs. Sadly, photograph #5 was just of a Wii and the game box, so we have not reproduced it.

They sent out photo #4 as a montage. They can’t have got much usable material from the event.

This is where photo #5 would’ve gone, had it not been of the box and a Wii. Such a waste. It could’ve been an additional close-up of the brown-haired one’s thighs :(

Congratulations, 505 Games. If this was your aim, it worked. And thanks. Thanks for this, and thanks for releasing Raiden III in PAL territories. We should’ve thanked you for releasing Raiden III in PAL territories at the time, it was very kind of you to make such an effort to please so few people. Here’s a press release in which you can read the thoughts of some cheerleaders.

“Hey, readers may note that the limited edition bit of plastic is only $59 here in Aus. Which probably equates to 13 pence at the moment with the exchange rate” – John.

This one’s for the 10 Australian readers we’ve had as of 10.09am today.

Sent in by “Retroid” who then also said “Paul” after in brackets, so we’re not sure if he’d rather be known as Retroid or Paul. We’ll just call him Rupaul. Rupaul said he found in on Eurogamer.