29-year-old Michael Higgins staged a fake public hanging of his favourite old video game toys over the weekend, in a ritual designed to stop himself being such a loser and to “move on”.

Michael hopes the move might also lead to him being able to get a girlfriend. He just needs to get a new duvet cover now.

“Thought I’d send you this pic for when you don’t have anything more interesting to post. It’s of a stall in Blackpool opposite the Ghost Train. The picture is of Tails, Yoshi, Sonic and Mario giant cuddly toys, which I assume are some prize for hooking a duck, or some other game of skill and cunning. If you look carefully you can see the huge spider webs on Tails and Yoshi perhaps indicating the amount of time they’ve been hanging there. I’ve uploaded the unaltered, full resolution image onto allyoucanupload incase your crappy hotmail account falls over and dies from the massive 2.5Mb file” – Phil.

Slightly troubling message. We’re uploading it here to show we have nothing to hide and it was nothing to do with us.

“I dreamt about you last night. It was so awesome! In my dream we became very good friends. I think the reason I dreamt about you is because the other week I went to SEGA to stalk their Head of Content. His name is Marek. I left him a carton of Chocolate Milk at reception but I did not get to meet him. Here is a photo I took of the SEGA sign being touched by God. Enjoy!” – Chocomel Ninja.

We say funny… it was more like ever-so-slightly interesting to a very small group of people for as long as it takes said people involved to scroll down, sigh, then click on something else while they EMOTIONLESSLY eat their PATHETIC SANDWICHES today.

“The other day I was driving down the motorway when I passed a lorry that seemed to have SEGA written on it, only in a strange and new font. I thought it might be some strange and new SEGA division, perhaps shipping some strange and new console somewhere – or some such bullshit.”

“Anyway, I then thought of UKR, naturally, and how ‘events’ such as these appeal. Grabbing my bewildering HTC portable telephone system I scrolled to camera mode. However, I had at this point overtaken the lorry, so had to pull in front of it, slow down, let it overtake me, then overtake it again while wildly taking shots at about 80mph. I suspect that I may have committed a serious driving offence whilst performing this stunt but rest assured I feel no more shameful, dirty and wicked than I do anyway” – Max.

Looks like we’re back in poo-based fan fiction territory.

“Hi, thought you might like some snaps of this year’s visit to Tokyo. It would make a perfect half-hearted update.”

“One day we found this Joypolis in Odaiba.”

“As you may see, the SEGA brand is no longer the draw it once was. The place was nearly empty, apart from a few Japanese who looked lost and confused.”

“Inside was not much better, only saved by some kids who were bunking off school to play the latest Rambo game.”

“There was a general lack of SEGA-ness to the whole affair, to be honest. Apart from Sonic selling-out by endorsing Hello Kitty UFO catchers.”

“All was not lost however, as we spent a good hour trying to find all the secret pods where you would get stamps of all your favourite Sonic characters (and Shadow). I’m 25 years old by the way.” – Matthew.

Ill-informed foreign manufacturer thinks us lot in the West are all still playing Dreamcasts. Most of the people around here still are, but that’s not enough to base an import/export hardware business on.

“Power inverter that uses a (poorly Photoshopped) picture of a DC as its example of ‘game system’. What’s odd is that it has a big blob of fine print for using a picture of an iPod, and for the DC they ‘shop out the logo but not the ‘SEGA’ (of course it would be ‘AGES’ since it’s mirrored). Keep fighting the good fight” – Quzar

In case you’re wondering and can’t be bothered to search as the search box probably doesn’t work anyway, we have done a Dreamcast as generic games console update before. There is nothing that has not been done.

A man wants to know if this is the worst-condition SEGA sign we’ve ever seen. It probably is, although the broken Japanese neon one runs it close. If Deith has survived the recession AND the plummeting popularity of amusement arcades, it might want to spend a bit on jazzing up its front-of-house.

Here’s a story of a man’s brush with Wembley, and an anecdote about the past from us.

“What up UK:R, or something like that. I was walking through a trading estate near Wembley on my way to a meeting. I saw this sign like a beacon burning bright in the sky. I took a photo to preserve it for posterity. Surely I win a prize for worst condition official SEGA sign?” – Dan.

We have a story about Deith Leisure! Ages ago, in the mid-to-late 1990s, Deith used to hold open days at its office where you could play all the games it distributed for free. This included SEGA games. We would go, drink beer, and play Scud Race for ages and ages and ages for free. THAT was the dream.

Kotaku is encroaching on our turf, bothering to take photos of the toilet signs in a Japanese arcade. Brian didn’t take any pictures from within the toilets, though. He is not that far gone yet. Photos found (ie, seen on Kotaku) by “Eggobots”.

That’s Sonic. We don’t want to think about Sonic having a wee, and certainly wouldn’t want to be in the cubicle next to him when he does a poo. At least he’d be done quickly, so we could relax.

That’s Amy. We would like to think about Amy having a wee. Not sure if we’d like to think about Amy having a poo, though. We’ll try thinking about Amy having a poo later and see how it goes.

AMY ROSE POO FAN FICTION PRELIMINARY NOTES
Suppose it depends what she’s been eating. Maybe if you factor in a nice, healthy meal beforehand as part of the story arc, then she can do nice little vegetarian poos like a rabbit. And if they were round, they’d collect in your belly button and wouldn’t make a mess on the sheets.

That odd game design training thing we got sent the other day is apparently a known offender. It has a “rep” that is in serious need of levelling up.

Here are a few recordings of a Train2Game presentation. They were made by a reader. They are not that visually impressive, it’s mainly an audio-based update unless you really like radiators.

“I had a sales rep from Train2Game actually come round to my house because I was interested in what they were offering. I also recorded most of it as I’d heard before the sales rep came that T2G was a scam”.

“I stuck my findings on youtube so people can decide for themselves if they think I witnessed a scam or sales pitch”.

“And I also made a cut for people that dont have much time and still want to see the funny bits” – Simon.

Sorry everyone, but this is one of those weeks (AKA months, AKA years) where we can’t be bothered to do anything other than upload the first photograph of something about/like SEGA in the inbox.

Hopefully at least some of you might enjoy looking at some girls’ shoes.

“Fairly ashamed, so will make it brief. Dragged to town. Standing awkwardly in ‘Next’ trying not to engage with the burger-munching-Jeremy-Kyle-set-public when I noticed this familiar little fellow. Yes, the photo is bad but a) It’s a phone. What do you expect ? An HTC something-or-other. And b) You try taking photos in the kids department of a crowded shop. People have been killed for less. And no, I don’t know why the whole scene has a pink ‘n’ fuzzy look to it. Maybe it’s the happy gas they pump into these places?” – Morgan.

Down past Sainsbury’s on the left. Another boarded-up computer shop. It’s all bloody Dell’s fault.

“I thought you’d appreciate this piece of amateur Sonic art I spotted just off Southend High Street, down past the Sainsbury’s on the left, walking in the direction of Westcliff. Classic Sonic The Hedgehog pose there only tempered with a shoddy understanding of solid, cartoon construction.”

“The shop is closed and has been for a while. I’m not sure how long it’s been empty, but photo 2 gives us a reasonable idea.”

“Photo 3 is the shop itself. That blue sign across the top is gone now. It probably won’t be long until the paintings go either” – David.